2017 - 1957 = 60

I was talking to an acquaintance who is "so tired of reading and talking about racism on Facebook."

I told her that I suffered from racial fatigue too, but, unlike her, I can't stop making sure I remain focused on seeing something and saying something when something needs to be said. She went on to say she doubts that I deal with any racism and I let her know that if any Black person is still dealing with racism...then I'm still dealing with it. I might have more microaggressions that just a look or a quick snap could deal with...but it is still there.

See...just because she can identify with me because we have so many things in common, she thinks I'm "not like the other Blacks" who encounter racist crap. She didn't say THAT...but that's essentially what she said. I have no doubt that should something racist ever happen to me, she'd be on the forefront demanding justice, but she might not consider it worth her time to demand the same justice for a poor Black person she doesn't have as much in common with whom she has never met.

I don't have that luxury to not care or not WANT to care.

Just this morning my husband and I were talking about how the conviction and level of hate among some of these people we've seen in pictures is the same level of conviction and hate seen in the pictures from 1957 surrounding the Little Rock Nine.

That was just 60 years ago. Your parents and grandparents are older than 60 years old.  That's not that long ago.

Keep talking.

I Got Time Today

I Got Time.jpg

It's Wednesday.

Sunday was a few days ago.

People are still proud, mad and processing.

This morning, my first call was from someone who is dealing with a co-worker who said some inappropriate ish during a meeting yesterday about the protest about inequality and continued racism in the United States of America.  The person thought they'd handled it but this morning the person gets to their office and the co-worker has left them some printouts of articles supporting the co-worker's misinformed stance on the NFL protestors who took a knee to protest inequality and continued racism in the United States of America.

The person who called me is ready to grab somebody by the collar and drag them down the hall to the parking lot and deliver an Ice Cube from Boyz-N-The-Hood stomp out.

Yesterday, I got a call from someone whose day started in a cab with a driver from another country who opened the conversation with talking about how disrespectful the protestors were.  They corrected what the cab driver wanted to believe the protest was about and then put their earbuds in and checked out of the ride.  Then, they got to their office and a co-worker who was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay below them on the food chain ladder asked if the person watched any football this past weekend since a lot of people were boycotting.  The person didn't have time on Tuesday and attempted to send the co-worker on their way after correcting what the co-worker thought the protest inequality and continued racism in the United States of America was about.  The co-worker tried to slide in the last word about how when you're at work you should do your job and use your time before and after work to protest.

OH...BUT YOU AT WORK, IN MY FACE, TALKING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR DAMN JOB!

Another person I know walked into their office and straight up made the announcement that conversation regarding the protests about inequality and continued racism in the United States of America was not something they were going to discuss.  WITH ANYONE.

The NFL protestor I know has been receiving emails and messages from people, IN PRIVATE, in support of his protest against inequality and continued racism in the United States of America.  I just think that is so odd and cowardly, ya know?  You understand, you want to help, but you don't want anyone you know to know that you understand and want to help.

You're going to remain quiet about it in public.

Oh.

Excuse me if I don't feel the sincerity.  

Excuse me if I call bullshit.

EXCUSE ME IF I IDENTIFY HOW MUCH A PART OF THE PROBLEM YOU TRULY, TRULY ARE.

Cuz I got time today.

How are you going to tell the people protesting what the protest is about?  When someone does something, don't you generally ask THEM why they did it so you know for sure?  That's how you remain willfully ignorant by taking the version from the people NOT PROTESTING, FOOL!

I got time today.

Megyn Kelly is getting paid $15 million a year by NBC supposedly after she just had a new show canceled because of ratings.  How in the shit does that mediocre race-baiting nitwit keep being a viable investment???????????  NBC better be glad they have "This Is Us" on their network or I'd never watch NUTTIN on their network again.  NEVER.AGAIN!  

I got time today.

The fire chief who wants the dude in our White House to post snipers and kill the protestors against inequality and continued racism in the United States??????  DUDE REALLY?  I'm so glad your evil azz got fired I might grill today just so I can start a fire in honor of your pink slip.

I got time today.

Sprinkles Cupcake company getting hate mail because they support American's right to protest? DO THEY PROCESS ONLINE ORDERS?  ANY GLUTEN-FREE CUPCAKES?  CAN I PAY FOR A DOZEN OVER THE PHONE AND HAVE A FRIEND PICK THEM UP?

I got time today.  

Kristie Kibbey Etue's post calling us anti-American degenerates from her powerful position as the director of Michigan's po-pos?  Oh really?  That's how you use your voice when you are supposed to be in charge of protecting and serving?  I hope they are calling for your resignation RAT.NAH!  I hope they are lined up outside of your office with signs chanting, "HELL NO!  YOU MUST GO!"

I got time today.

Jerry Jones straight up making it all about him letting ya boy know he can't tell him what to do with his fresh facial, lineup and blue suit?  

NO.JUST.NO.

That was so disrespectful to his players.  I bet they feel like crap being used like that.  Seriously.

I got time today.

Look...Imma say this.  Don't let this situation get you fired but if someone rolls up on you inappropriately at work, correct them calmly and then head to the HR department and let them know you feel threatened by being approached at work.  If your "friend" contacts you in private, talk to them and let them know how you feel.  Make sure you also let them know how their public silence makes you feel too.  If your neighbor stops speaking, screw 'em. If someone threatening says some ish to you in public, gauge your response properly.  Don't get hurt, don't initiate any hurting but if a mofo act like they crazy...

LET 'EM KNOW YOU GOT TIME TODAY.

A little bit of Martin...a whole lot of Malcolm.

What I'm Not Gon' Do #TakeTheKnee

sandy_coin_horse_ride.jpg

Remember these riding horses that used to be outside the grocery stores?  Remember begging your mother for a dime or a quarter so you could be entertained by riding a horsey for a few minutes?  I do.  It was the life.  For a few minutes, I was entertained and imagined I was riding in the great Wild West with a big badge on my chest looking for outlaws.  

Hey...I read a lot as a kid.  I had an awesome imagination and my dad had stacks and stacks of Louis L'amore westerns.

Yesterday, across the country, and across the pond, NFL athletes used their American right to protest peacefully against injustice and continued racism in the United States of America. One of the players was someone near and dear to me and my chest swelled with pride as he knelt knowing his kneeling was taking a stand for those who sometimes feel they don't have a voice to help them.  On his Facebook page the comments came rolling in and it was indeed a sight to see the same people who'd love him at the start of the game now all with the same mantra of basically...since he's a multi-millionaire who plays football, he needs to stand for the anthem and shut up or be fired. AND HE NEEDS TO DO WHAT THEY SAY NOW, RIGHT NOW.

Oh.

I looked up other players who'd participated in the peaceful protest against injustice and continued racism in the United States of America and the same rhetoric was there for all the world to see.  Like...these people took the masks off.  The players were called ignorant n-words, monkeys who play a child's game, uneducated gorillas who don't deserve to live in this country, etc.  They equated their peaceful protest against injustice and continued racism in the United States of America to these players disrespecting fallen soldiers who died for their right to protest peacefully.

Oh.

These people made their peaceful protest against injustice and continued racism in the United States of America about what THEY wanted to make it about with an arrogance disregarding the truth that is astonishing in how fast it spread.  Like wildfire.

Just burned through all in its path.

All of this was par for course until I noticed a comment from someone I knew on his page.  Two comments from the same person.  I sat back and processed it.  Then I took a screengrab and sent it to her via messenger.  I let her know how surprising it was to see her comments and even more surprising that she felt it was something she couldn't discuss with me directly since her comments showed she was wrong about what the protest was about.

So apparently, the peaceful protest against injustice and continued racism in the United States of America has "taken away football" for many Americans because a player needs to just shut up and play football.  They think the players are like that horse.  Like they aren't even human. They drop in a coin and get entertained and when the players aren't entertaining them, they should just sit still and say nothing until the button is depressed again that allows them to get to entertaining. Like they don't have family and friends who aren't dealing with injustice and unfairness daily.  Like they aren't educated.  Like they aren't working in their communities attempting to affect change with programs, their voice, events, etc.

Like they are inanimate objects without feeling no matter the size of their bank accounts.

The opposite of a peaceful protest is civil war right?  I mean...do these people want folks to get their Boston Tea Party on again?  Should we start dropping our tax dollars into the middle of the ocean or something instead of paying our taxes?  What do you suggest be done?  And who do you think you are even thinking that you should be able to tell someone that their time and place is not the right time or place?  

I mean really.

So...the person I knew doubled down and I said what I had to say and then told her goodbye.  And I meant that.  Cuz what you NOT gon' do is disrespect someone near and dear to me for exercising their rights as an American.

And...

WHAT I'M NOT GON' DO is let you think, for a second, that our country doesn't have some serious work to do in areas of race. 

WHAT I'M NOT GON' DO is let you think you can skin and grin in my face while you are supporting a man who called violent Nazi protesters, in 2017, very fine people but peacefully protesting men, sons of bitches. 

WHAT I'M NOT GON' DO is let you railroad a movement by swearing you know what it's "really" about when it has been spelled out for you what it is actually about time and time again.  You don't want equality for all because it makes you feel oppressed.  

Oh.

Let the peaceful protests continue.  As Americans.  It is their right.

Knee.jpg

 

 

 

 

Black Santa

This is my oldest bit of holiday decor.  I recently fixed the scratches and many of the missing pieces and put him out as I do every.single.Christmas.  There was such an uproar about Santa being Black in the mall recently that it made me scratch my head.  Santa isn't real so um...Santa can be whatever skin color we want him to be.  Santa has always been Black to me as he has always been representative of our family.  No biggie right?  Right.  Christmas is inclusive so make it as personal as possible.  All that good magic just floating around?  Put it to your own family magical use.  

Too many people out here showing their azz for no reason.  Don't be an azz showing dummy.

And be happy.

Shit.

My TAME thoughts on the election...

Vote.

Don't vote for the Republican candidate.

He's not a good person.

Vote for the Democratic candidate.

She has her faults.

But she's not him.

If you vote for a 3rd party candidate, in this election, you're basically voting for him.

Don't vote for him.

We all have privilege. Might be time to check yours.

Privilege is a word that has been turned into a hot button topic.  As soon as some folks hear it...they get defensive and shut down.  They are no longer listening or, better yet, FEELING the impact of the conversation...they are planning what they are going to say next.  And, we should all know that moment you stop listening, when it isn't a contentious discussion, you effectively become THE ASSHOLE.

On a particularly hot day, I noticed a young woman walking across a bridge with an all black Chick-Fil-A uniform on and a visor.  That heat was beaming on her.  I pulled over and asked her if she'd like a ride.  Grateful, she hopped in and I took her to her home.  On the ride there, we made polite conversation and she shared with me that she'd went away to college, got pregnant, returned home and had to move out when her mother passed and her sister got married.  So...as a young single mother, she had a lot of choices to make.  She has a friend who lives in the same apartment complex who doesn't work and looks after the kids of about 5 people she knows.  No where near a daycare situation, but a safe place for the children to be when their parents were at work.  Everyone basically gives the woman what they can when they can.  COMMUNITY.  I drove into the complex and my passenger thanked me.  I asked her when she had to go back to work and she said in three hours to her second job.  If she couldn't find a ride from her neighbor who she could give $5 to for a ride (sometimes he wasn't home) she'd have to leave the house in two hours so she could walk there.  

I drove home feeling some kinda way.

My husband has the most supportive parents in the entire world.  When he was growing up, had he said he wanted to be an astronaut, I have no doubt they would have sent him to space camp, driven back and forth from Cape Canaveral and gotten him involved in anything they heard of in order to make that happen.  They drove him back and forth to college with the truck filled with dorm room and later, apartment furnishings.  When he graduated, they drove back and forth multiple times to help move him into his new apartments.  They packed and unpacked.  Got him settled in right nice.  His mother sent care packages (she has all his life), they talked regularly and passed along sage advice to their child when he was at a crossroad for whatever reason.  They never attempted to change his mind or his path.  They supported him and loved him throughout life and still do.  SUPPORT.

I was talking to a friend's mother about how poor they were when they were growing up.  She went on and on about how her mother had to save up for potatoes with the eyes to plant come planing time.  She spoke of how her mother would harvest and dry seeds from the vegetables she grew every season so that she had seeds for next planting season.  The process was a long and tedious one and, it took a lot of patience and planning to get right every.single.year.  The kids were in charge of tilling the soil, they had to help plant, water with buckets, and pick the greens and veggies.  This took a couple of hours worth of attention daily.  They also had to get the eggs the chickens hatched, milk the cow, catch and clean fish during the Lenten season so they had fish for Friday dinner.  The fish would be fried and all the neighbors would come over with fish to fry and extra veggies from their week's harvest or some baked good.  LIFE SKILLS.

I, like many women my age, have LOTS of shoes.  I don't like walking around in my bare feet even in the house.  When I get out of the shower or bath, I dry my feet first and slide them into my slippers.  My bathroom floors are clean, mind you, I was simply raised to always wear shoes.  I hate to not wear shoes even to the beach where walking in shoes makes it harder to do.  LOL!  It just seems wrong to me not not wear shoes.  And I don't wear many closed shoes without socks.  I don't like my feet to sweat.  I hate that (EARMUFFS) moist feeling between my toes.  Just...ew.  I have weird issues with socks.  Can't stand the seam to be anywhere other than on top of my toes and, if I feel them...I can't wear them so, even if they are brand new...if I feel the line, they must be thrown away.  I never think about donating them because I think to myself that socks are REALLY personal articles of clothing and then...I read that homeless people need socks more than anything because nobody ever donates socks.  And...they often go without shoes that are in good shape because good walking shoes very rarely get donated.  Folks mostly donate walking shoes they've walked in.  A lot. But a blessing is a blessing right?  Old shoes or no shoes?  BLESSED.

Growing up, I went through a period of time where I didn't have the protection of my father in my home.  He'd beat the shit out of my mother, yet again, and, once he'd been released from his overnight stay in jail, my mother had picked us up and taken us to stay with a relative.  The relative lived with a sick fuck who subtly tried to molest me not knowing that I was already hip to that game and had decided it would never be something that happened to me again.  I reminded him that my father would most likely kill his azz if he touched me and I told my father.  Oh...and I let him know that I'd tell my daddy the SECOND I got him on the phone.  I knew my father loved me.  PROTECTED.  I knew he'd fuck someone up for messing with me.  And he'd enjoy doing it and probably get off.  Small town justice.  I've never been raped and many women who have been, were never molested growing up.

Someone I love can't afford to pay for their healthcare insurance so they had to go to one of the few free clinics in their area for medical attention.  They left the clinic before being seen because the clinic was closing soon and there were still 45 people ahead of them.  The person missed a day of work to go to the clinic.  If they don't work, they don't get paid so that's a very real and direct reaction to their action that hit them when their next check came.  They work for $8 an hour.   They caught a bus for $2 to get back home and still had to walk for about 20 minutes from the bus stop.

The young lady I gave a ride to was privileged because she was blessed enough to become a mother.  She did not have the privilege of always having transportation.

I have always been privileged enough to have a car but not privileged in that I became a mother.

My husband has always been privileged to have unconditional parental love and support but not privileged in becoming a parent who'd do the same.

My friend's mother's family was poor but privileged to be landowners in a community of people who looked like and understood them.  

I am privileged in that I've never gone without any type of clothing or shoes that I needed.  

I was abused as a child but I was also privileged enough to know my father loved and protected me from others.

Health insurance has never been a question for me.  I am privileged.

In areas I know I'm privileged, I refuse to be ridiculous enough to think that others have the same opportunities and/or experiences.  I understand that life isn't the same for everyone.  I understand that, a lot of times, the choices or LACK OF choices of our direct ancestors, still matters a lot in who we are and will become.

I understand this and recognize this because I'm not an asshole.  

Recognizing the areas you are PRIVILEGED is how you learn to have EMPATHY.  

Even for the most narcissistic of all.

When Little Johnny Football Becomes a Thug

I don't keep up with college football so I wasn't aware of Johnny Manziel until he was big time in the spotlight.  He talked a lot of trash and The Robinator would frown whenever he was on the screen.  Then, he'd speak and The Robinator would curl his lip and say, "What a jerk."

I started paying more attention to Johnny after that, wondering if he was getting a bad rap.  He was spirited and passionate about his wins and losses.  His emotions would come into play and hey...when your adrenaline is at a high...your emotions might come across kinda jerky right?  But then...you calm the hell down and be better right?

His trademark "make money" dance wasn't a big deal to me because hey...they all come up with their own thingy right?  I mean...I love when Cam dabs on 'em.  LOL!

Since the beginning of his college football career, Manziel has been in and out of trouble.  Little stuff, in my opinion, that folks normally overcome once your parents and your Elders snatch your azz and shame you up at the church when Pastor asks how college is going and your mother tells him that you out there acting like you weren't raised right.  But...being the starting QB in a college town can be an ego boost that arrogance responds to differently.  His parents started speaking out and Little Johnny Football got worse.  

Big time partying?  CHECK.

Not fulfilling practice obligations?  CHECK.

Cutting the EN-TIRE fool?  CHECK.

Drinking excessively?  CHECK.

Rehab?  CHECK.

I have always been a firm believer of respect for your parents being the first level of having respect for authority so reading about his parents saying he probably won't live to see age 24 when the child is 23 made me go HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

Yesterday...new stuff popped off about to take Johnny on a journey.  Last night?  Little Johnny Football partied like a rockstar without a care in the world.

So...this morning I went into the ugly part of the internet to read what folks had to say.  The ugly party of the internet you ask?  Any place that allows anonymous comments.  I read a few dozen and was surprised that I didn't find much reference to Little Johnny Football being a thug.  Folks were praying for him to find his way back.  Some people were even calling his parents to task for not staying on top of him.  Basically, at 23 years old, in their eyes, he's just going through some things and he will show us all that he can still be the star QB in the NFL same as he was in college.

Little Johnny Football is getting a pass even as he is about to deal with these allegations of choking out his girlfriend.

I wonder what Cam thinks about that?


Racial Fatigue: Become friends with the monster...

I'm a cancer survivor, an infertility survivor and a child abuse survivor.  In other words...life has dealt me a few blows that I've had to work really hard at overcoming.  This disease that I can't seem to overcome unscathed however?  Racial Fatigue.  I'm about to topple over from this shit.  Seriously.  It's too much.  Everyday there is more ish and people figure out how to rope all kinds of ish into it to make every.single.thing about race and how Black people ain't shit, weren't ever shit and never gonna be shit and lawd...I'm so over it.  I'M SO OVER IT.  

I watched that video of that football player who punched the chick at the bar.  When I first saw the video I was like...damn...he shouldn't have hit her like that.  But then I read the story and I understood.  She called him THE SLUR before she hit him and he was trying to keep her hands off him and then he just snapped and laid her azz clean the fug out.

I UNDERSTAND.

I don't want men hitting women.  Duh.

I don't want women hitting men.  Duh.

BUT GOTDAMMIT I'M SICK OF MOTHERFUCKERS THINKING THEY CAN GET REAL SLICK WITH THIS RACIAL ISH AND THINKING THEY ARE ON THE LANDING OF TARA GOING WITH THE WIND AND SHIT.

There are signs out here with that damn flag on it saying, "Keep the flag, change the speaker."  Like...them signs popped up the next day of the current flag controversy.  Nice signs.  PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED SIGNS.  Somebody sat down at their computer immediately and designed that gotdamn sign and then saved that shit to a thumb drive.  Then they went to a PROFESSIONAL SIGN PRINTER and had them damn signs printed up.  Approved the proofs.  AND PAID FOR THEM!  Stands and all.  Then...they knew exactly where they could put that shit up and be like...THEY COOL WITH IT.  I KNOW.  You spent all that time and all that money promoting something which symbolizes hate and oppression to so many people.  Just don't give a fug huh?

JUST DON'T GIVE A FUG.

JUST DON'T GIVE A FUG.

And Black people ain't no damn better.  Fools running around here talking about they trotting out Bill Cosby to distract you from Charleston, that damn flag and racism.  GOTDAMMIT WHY THE FUG I CAN'T THINK ABOUT MORE THAN ONE THING AT A TIME?  WHY THE FUG YOU GOTTA TRY AND LIMIT ME TO ONE THING AT A TIME?  OH?  I AIN'T BLACK ENOUGH CUZ I HAVE THE BANDWIDTH TO BE OUTRAGED ABOUT MORE THAN ONE THING AT A TIME?  Cosby been raping and all these damn fools know he drugging folks but still slurping his jello shots.  

People mad at Black fashion bloggers cuz they just talking 'bout fashion.  Well shit...that's what they blog about!  Don't assume that just because they aren't deviating from their chosen business message that they don't talk about these issues in their personal life.  I mean hell...how many businesses yall know out there polarizing folks and surviving?  Them damn bakeries that refused to make cakes for gay people are OUT.OF.BUSINESS.  Ain't nobody got time to mix up their money behind systematic shit bigger than life.

SHIT!

I was called a racist by a stranger behind that damn flag.  Me.  A racist.  Okay. *YAWN*  Rat bastid quick to say some ish like...THAT'S REVERSE RACISM! 

SIP:  SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP!

And Donald Trump?  And all these damn Republican candidates tipping around not saying anything conclusive setting up a pick for Jeb Bush so he can trot out his Latina bride as a stop gap?  Yeah...we see you Jeb.  We see you.  I gotta hand it to you...that one was perfect.  

So yeah...I'm suffering bad from Racial Fatigue.  Bad man.  I'm so sick of and tired of this ish.  I'm tired of the disparities I see from my vantage point.  I'm tired of the for real serious wrongs that folks turn a blind eye to.  I'm tired of feeling like there is nothing I can do no matter what I do.  I'm tired.  I'm tired.  I'm tired.

There is nothing I can do about how individuals think, of course.  I can just continue to be me and see something, say something when I feel like it.  I've always surrounded myself with good people without focusing on visual differences.  I always try and see it from all sides but I'm tired.  I'm so very, very tired.  This is how people become hermits.  This is how people just start collecting dogs, cats and reading books.  Tipping out every now and then to buy fruit salad in a can running their grocery carts into the back of people cuz they are just trying to get outta there and back to their home/haven as quickly as possible.

This climate is a moral sickness we're all suffering from and the antidote lies within our hearts.  Empathy.  That's all we need to start using.  Empathy.

"I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.  Get along with the voices inside of my head.  You trying to save me stop holding your breath.  And you think I'm crazy, you think I'm crazy! Well that's not fair!"

SNL Skit with Louis C.K.: When you get what you asked for.

Full disclosure here.  I'm a Louis C.K. fan.  I think his show, "Louie", is genius.  I think he tackles things we are mostly uncomfortable discussing in a fresh way.  In a REAL way.  You know...that way you discuss them at home when you don't have to use knowing looks or hushed tones to discuss them because you know the heart of the person you're discussing them with.  See...we can discuss anything if we already KNOW the person we're discussing it with.  When we don't know the person, as we're forming our thoughts, we are constantly thinking about just where this person is coming from.

Well...you know that.

Anyway...yeah...I'm a fan.

We missed SNL on Saturday night because we were out partying it up big time popping bottles and whatnot.

Okay...we were asleep.  Hell...we're old.  We can't stay up that long on a Saturday night anymore without planning.

So we watched on Sunday morning while eating late breakfast.  We were still trying to digest Louis C.K.'s opening monologue and watching silently.  I had a piece of bacon in my hand and was chewing.  When the above skit started...I stopped chewing.  BACON.  I stopped chewing bacon.  I stared at the television blinking and holding my bacon in my hand.  

I thought about another SNL skit with Louis C.K. in it that was basically a ripoff from the Dave Chappelle Show.  I thought when Dave did it...it was brilliant but on SNL it made my eyes squint.

And it made me wonder if perhaps I'm bringing along with me a feeling of some kinda way because for decades...we've been wondering why there weren't more people of color on SNL and now...we have them so exploring politically incorrect and edgy comedy including Black people and ABOUT Black people is more likely to happen.  SNL is well known to be offensive to all right?

So what do you think?  What DID you think?  Did the new skit make you laugh?  Was it funny?  Was it uncomfortable to watch because you know people like the Sprint manager?  Was it funny because you know people like the Sprint manager?  What do you think, so far, of Leslie Jones on the show?

What did YOU think of his opening monologue?  Child molester "jokes" too much?

Fug 'em!

I can't tell you enough how to not worry about people who aren't worth worrying about.  Every second you spend on them is taking away from you being the light you need to be.  

FUCK.

THEM.

Do you.

And smile because you're genuinely happy.  If you're not happy...don't smile.  That fake ish is for the birds.  Tweet...tweet!

Merry Christmas from us and our Black Blow Up S.E.X. Doll

Phi Delta Theta holiday photo sparks controversy

Who thought this was a good idea?  Nobody said...hey...wait...about that black blow up s.e.x doll...let's not take a pic with it.  

NOBODY?

For the Holiday card.

SERIOUSLY?????????

Stop doing stuff like this and please tell your kids to not do stuff like this too.  

*sigh*

#NoBlackFriday

No Black Friday.jpg

My bestie and I have plans to meet my cousins for lunch on Friday near Saks.  Near Saks was purely strategic because we planned on moseying over there and maybe pick up a thing or 6.  After being so angry last night and so filled with, once again, helplessness...we decided that we aren't going to follow through with those plans.  We're not going to spend a dime.  We are going to participate in the #NoBlackFriday protest.

I mean...even though I knew what the verdict was going to be...I'm still angry.  

I had a whole list of shopping that I needed to do this weekend but I think I'm just going to enjoy family at home.  Catch some museum exhibits.  Take some pictures.  Game night.  You know...stuff like that.  We might not have paper towels but we have regular towels so we should be okay.  Just sit around and spend time with family without spending money.  This weekend is the weekend they track spending so yeah...I think it would be a good message to send.

I made that banner for Facebook.  If you'd like to use it as your cover picture you can click on it and download it.  If you want to.

I don't know what else to do other than what I already do but I feel like I want to do something to show my pain.

It can't hurt to make Wall Street take notice right?

On Don Lemon, Bill Cosby and Why Black People Can't Have Ish!

Don Lemon is from where I'm from.  Not from the state mind you...but from the actual, small town.  He's three years older than I am so I imagine I probably sat in some of the same chairs he sat in at the lunchroom at school.  Shadowing his experiences, essentially, three years later.  We went to the same grocery store, the same drug store, picked up penny candy at the same five and dime.  I didn't know him but I "know" him in that everyone from where we're from knows of everyone else.

It's just that small.

Don Lemon grew up gay and sexually abused as a child by a neighbor.  Being sexually abused as a child really messes you up.  Being abused AND gay, where we're from?  Whew...bless that poor baby's heart.  I'm sure his demons are deep.

See...people like my father and all the Elders I knew back where we're from didn't play that "gay crap."  They would beat the gay straight out of you.  Never mind gay can't be beat out of someone...they tried.  Goodness knows they tried.  And they didn't mess with you either.  They'd nod politely but the second you rounded the corner..."That's that funny one" would round the corner with them.

Needless to say...I'm sure it was rough.

But...he was "light skinned" and articulate and handsome.  All the things White people where we're from gave a pass to.  It didn't matter that you were gay.  They didn't have to worry about you sniffing up behind their daughter so yeah...be gay...come to dinner...let me open this door, ie. make a call for you since you are non-threatening.  You're an acceptable version of the others.

Because we all know that if you have the ability to make a person let their guards down around you...you begin to find the human layers behind the thick wall of NO.

Now...again, I don't know Don Lemon personally but I fear I know the type of person he is just by listening to his bullshit all these years.  He's the worst type of Black person out there.  The type of Black person who trashes other Black people to White people to help boost THEIR personal image.

"Look at me.  I'm not like them.  All of them.  Now give me free!"

I DESPISE Black people like that.  I mean sure...we all know people we'd never emulate.  We'd never park on the grass, we'd never drive into a residential neighborhood with the music blaring from our special speakers with rims on our car that cost more than the car is worth.  We'd never wear our pants sagging so low that you see our underwear.  We'd never throw trash out of our cars to the ground, we'd never walk around barefoot willy nilly, we'd never, we'd never, we'd never...

But we'd also never assume that every person who shares the same skin color as we do are out and about doing those things.  

In my personal opinion Don Lemon is a racist and he's the type of diversity the kkk is looking to incorporate into their organization and, as far as I'm concerned...he can go straight to their version of hell.

I stopped fuggin with CNN in 2008 behind that Black in America bullshit and I only see anything about them via social media and normally, when I click on their links it's with sincere disdain and straight up lip curl action.  Why is Don Lemon still employed by CNN after all of the offenses he's committed with his wayward azz, ignorant azz tongue?  Because they need someone to say the things he says with a black face (lowercase 'b') to make them seem racially inclusive.  He is the spokesperson for how they feel about Black people as a whole.  He is currently, their damn Black person figurehead.

I've been around people like this dude all of my life and I do not care for them at all.  I don't care for people who believe their experiences could have been the same for all who share a minor similarity in the grand scheme of all we are.  Sure...we all have demons and our own ish but I believe it is the stronger person who recognizes that even though they had what it took to get out of THEIR shit puddle, others may not have had the same opportunities.  It comes back down, as always, to empathy.

Empathy will always prove the worth of a man.

Bill Cosby's history is one such that he has had control over what is written about him, that we don't really know what is what anymore.  We know he was raised in Philly, dropped out of high school in the 10th grade, went to the Navy, got his GED while in the Navy, went to college after the Navy, was an athlete in college and continued his education while an adult until he received his Ph.D.  All good stuff.  

When I heard Cosby, I heard my father and uncles laughing and talking.  That deep, commandeering voice.  The mirth and the seriousness.  When he figured out that clean comedy would get him more of an audience he was everywhere and well...again...he sounded like the men I was familiar with so I listened.  He was the television father I wished I had.  Seemingly free of all the demons my real life father had that switched him from dad of the year one second and nightmare dude the next.  So, when Dr. Cosby started getting on his Papa Pope pulpit...I didn't think two blinks about it.  Why?  Because he was saying all of the same things I'd heard from my Elders all of my life.  Even if they didn't follow the same script themselves.  

DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO!

I never thought about the dangerous nature of that preaching outside of my home.  I never thought about a national audience hearing those words and wondering why OTHER Black people didn't do as he said because pulling up your pants is all a young Black man needs to do and then VOILA!  He will magically become more acceptable in the eyes of the world at large.  That's all that is needed right?  Not much else.  The lack of opportunity and lack of quality education and lack of people with the power to hire hiring someone who looks like them doesn't matter.

PULL UP YOUR PANTS AND YOU GET A JOB!  YOU GET A JOB!  YOU GET A JOB!

See...at home, our parents knew that we have all sorts of opportunities and their rants against us came with the knowledge of every aspect of who we were as individuals and challenges we may or may not have had.  Telling a young man who comes from a middle class or even a working class household to pull up his pants and stop acting like a donkey's azz will have more of an impact than telling a young man who is at the bottom of all the statistics which matter to pull up his pants.  What if he didn't have a belt and he was wearing what he could find to wear?  What if he only could have the luxury of seeing school as the only place he got something to eat and where there was electricity, running water and heat?  What if the child was surviving and would never, ever, ever have the opportunity to have a childhood the way we believe childhood should be?  Full of play, Garanimals and Disney movies?  

Yeah...you hear me I guess.

A long time ago someone told me of a 3 year old child in an apartment complex they used to live in who would come into their home and steal food.  The three year old was real sloppy with it, of course, but the person told me that every day, the 3 year old would come over to play with their child and eventually sneak into the kitchen and steal some food.  They would take it back to their house and hide and eat the food.  The person started leaving food more accessible for the 3 year old to "steal" once they realized that the child wasn't eating at home because of the family's situation.  Think about that.  Think about when your child was 3 and slinging yogurt and peas all over the kitchen from their chair while you snapped super cute pics of food all over their face while they hold their lil' Disney character spoon in their hand all crooked.  Yeah...now think about what has to happen in a 3 year old's life that he has to figure out that in order to survive...he has to take care of himself by any means necessary.  By the time that 3 year old is 14...if circumstances never changed...what the fug you think telling him to pull up his pants is going to do?

It might be easy, in the beginning of growing into who you're meant to be, to think those simple things might help...but as you read more and become more aware of the world outside of YOUR microcosm of a bubble...one would think that your thought process would be more empathetic to other possibilities right?  You'd start figuring out that yes...your experience differs but that it doesn't mean that it could have been the same for all no matter what right?  I mean...wouldn't you ever take a step off that pedestal and walk around with your eyes open?  Wouldn't it make you more appreciative of the opportunities you had and wouldn't it make you want to try and see if you could affect more change positively?  By not shitting on people?

And what does it mean when you don't?

That you're a narcissist and most probably a racist.

And, in your head...you're a God who can take what he wants to take from others because you are allowing them to stand in your light.  And...based on your weaknesses...what you deem you are worthy of taking...can look different person-to-person.

With Cosby, all signs point to him taking via rape.  

All signs point to Bill Cosby being a despicable predator with a pattern of victim choosing. Defending the actions of a despicable predator makes you despicable too. How about developing a culture where men absolutely 100% know that you DO.NOT.RAPE?

Unfortunately, I love several people who were raped and if people were defending the despicable MF who raped them...I would most likely go postal because I've cried with them late into the night and I've stood in their corner doing whatever I could to help them with the multitude of challenges being raped brings into the equation when one of the variables is RAPE. 

And if I ever had the opportunity to go back in time and show up before the rape occurred I would...and I'd bring my axe handle.

 Persecuting the victims?  Dude...really?  *sigh*

When I think of the Black people with the national spotlight and the trust of people who aren't just Black...it's not a long list.  When I think of those people individually and consider what they are doing to shine the spotlight on issues we, as a country, should REALLY focus on...that list dwindles to damn near non-existence.  That national spotlight is for the few and far between.

Makes my head hurt really.

But...it also makes me know that I need to do more for those I have a direct connect to who need help because no one else is really giving a damn about connecting with them.  MUCH MORE.  

Oh well...I solved nothing here, of course.  Just a rambling of things we all know.  Comparing two types of blights with that national spotlight knowing we all wish they would have been better people than the people it turns out they actually are.  The celebrated creams of our crop.  Racists and rapists.  

How funny is it that Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River" is on now and I'm singing the chorus loudly?  

It's funny cuz it's true.  

Thoughts?  Please...by all means...get deep with it.  I beg of you.

 

From My Inbox

So I’m in Nashville for an away rotation at Vanderbilt, and I’m staying with one of their grad students I found through the student classifieds. He’s a nice enough white guy, super quiet and soft spoken, no issues in the week I’ve been here. I’ve also been gone a lot, working quite a bit at the hospital. Today was my first off day and this morning was the first morning I had to really see the house in daylight (I’m gone from 6am-8pm). Well, while rummaging through his cabinets for a coffee mug, looking forward to finally having some time to brew my favorite Guatemalan coffee and read a novel before church, I had a hard time finding a mug that wasn’t emblazoned with the Confederate flag.

*record scratch* uh say wha?
O_O
o_O
-_____-

My prickly senses heightened, and have been so all day. I’ve lived with a white person before, but he was super liberal, from California. We may have not had many words for each other, but there was a mutual respect. We were cool. To be sharing a roof with a racist is a whole new ball game that I’m not prepared for. We got a lot of Tribe members in the South so my question is: Is the Confederate flag //really// racist, or just a symbol of Southern pride? I mean really? I found some really good points here. (I’ve clearly been thinking about this all day)

http://www.debate.org/opinions/is-the-confederate-flag-racist

Hanging Family from Tree. Halloween Decor?

So...a home on the Ft. Campbell military base had the above as Halloween decor.  

http://www.wkrn.com/story/27119461/offensive-halloween-display-removed-from-ft-campbell-home

Neighbors complained and, when brought to the attention of the occupant...they removed it.

Someone in the comments of the article defended the occupant saying that it's Halloween and people shouldn't be so sensitive.  It's just scary stuff.

What are your thoughts?  Does it concern you that SOMEONE who lives in that house is in our military?

Are We All Undercover Racists?

Insults!

On Saturday I got really, really pissed off.  Like...angrier than I've been in a long, long time.  See...I try and be kinder and gentler and not let SIP out as much these days.  Growth and all that.

Let me paint the picture for you...

I was told that I could park somewhere while I got my volunteering on.  Several hours later I returned to my truck and it was fine.  Several hours later...I returned to my truck and...still fine.  Few hours later and I'm ready to roll out...and a car had blocked me in.

Someone went to go see what the what as I waited patiently thinking the person who blocked the cars in was just running in and out somewhere quickly.  When it became apparent that wasn't the case, I got out of my truck and followed the direction of the people who went to go see what was what.

I walked in on an argument and the person whose car was blocking the cars of the volunteers was saying that we needed to pay him to move his car.

Um...now say what now?

I didn't address the owner of the car...I addressed the person who was attempting to handle the situation.  I said...I'm not paying him anything...call the police.  He's impeding my movement and I consider it a form of kidnapping.  Call the police and let the police sort it all out.  Simple.  He doesn't own that area, you were told we could all park there.  I'm not about to be extorted by this dude.

So the dude in question was all super arrogant and whatnot.  The kind of person who has gotten over before and plans to do it again because he normally does this with good church folk who don't want no trouble.

Hi...I'm SIP...I don't mind trouble.  CALL THE POLICE!

So...I noticed that he got a bit nervous when cameras started snapping and folks started pulling out their phone to call the police as I'm continuing to tell folks to call the police.  (I'd left my phone in my truck.)  I head back to my truck to get my phone and he comes out with the other people and moves his car.  I am FURIOUS at this dude and I say a few choice words without cursing to him once I'd moved my truck.  He felt that it could probably escalate so he didn't say anything until AFTER I'd walked away.  Because of the company I was keeping...I stopped talking.

But BAAAAAAAAABY...the things I was thinking?  NO.CUT.

Now...it should be noted that I don't have a problem with many folks.  Just ignorant mofos.  I don't really care what you're doing with your life, who you are, etc. as long as you aren't messing with me or mine.  I just stay away from you and don't give two figs about what you have going on.  Ignant ish however?  I have a problem with.

I thought some really horrible things about the guy, who was dressed in traditional Muslim headgear.  You can imagine as you've probably heard these things before.  I didn't feel bad about my thoughts either...I was just furious with an ignant mofo who was coming at me all wrong.  I didn't know anything about him other than, at that moment, I wished the ground would open up and swallow his ignant azz up or that I could have yanked him out of his car and slapped him silly.

Now...during some quiet reflecting, I started thinking about insults and how not many of us have problems slinging them or thinking them when we feel insulted.  These insults...does it mean we have a problem with ALL people who share the trait, characteristic or similarity we used as an insult?

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

And I thought about the firemen fighting last week.  The fireman who called the other one an offensive slur...did it mean he hated all Black people...or...could it mean that he just REALLY not like that one Black person in particular and wanted to insult him to his core just to let him know exactly how much he couldn't stand his azz? 

I mean...I don't have a problem with Muslims.  Period.  I believe everyone should be allowed to practice their religion because I'll be damned if someone is going to  tell me that I can't practice my religion my way.  I certainly don't think all people who are obviously not FROM here are illegal and I don't think all people from the Middle East are terrorists.  Not even in the slightest.  Dare I be all cliche' as hell here and say that some of my FAVORITE people are Muslim because well...it's true.  Very true.  

But it made me think about what we do, think and say when we are mad as hell at one particular person.  It made me wonder about insults and what it means that we have them so readily available in our verbal arsenal...

So...I ask you, In 2014...can we insult people who have HIGHLY offended us using slurs without said slur being a blanket statement across the board?  Do YOU think offensive insults that you'd never say out loud?  Do you think it means you're a little bit racist?  Have you ever thought about this?

Spare Me Your Outrage: Black Donor's Sperm Sent to White Parents

Black Donor's Sperm Mistakenly Sent to White Parents: Lawsuit

In the news this week has been a White woman, who is a lesbian (only pointing those things out because of what will follow), and is suing a sperm bank because they paired the couple's eggs with the sperm of a Black man.

They'd picked out the man they wanted to buy the sperm of and that man was NOT Black.

The couple did NOT want a Black baby.  Dare I say the thought never crossed their mind even.  I mean really.  They live in, apparently, the whitest black-out area of Ohio.

*o_0*

I was reading articles about it and ran across a bunch of comments to the tune of, "Oh, they want people to show them tolerance because they are gay but they can't show tolerance to their daughter for being mixed race."

*BLINK*

And I side-eyed the hell out of that.

Who said they weren't showing their daughter tolerance?  Um...nobody said that.  

Now...let's get this ish clear.  

If I paid a doctor to remove my left cancerous breast and I woke up from surgery and my right breast was gone and the cancerous breast was still there...oh...there would be some nonsense from me regarding.  I will cut the smooth fool while texting my lawyer to get the lawsuit prepared STAT!  You can't put my FOR REAL breast back.  Sure...I can get a replacement boob...but it's not the same.  I'd sue the ish outta that doctor, the hospital...hell I might even sue his damn dog.

Now...the people didn't want a Black baby.  When they realized their baby was Black, they didn't try and give her back.  Hell...it's their baby.  But they can't change that she's Black.  I read their concerns of raising a Black child in their super White world and hell...I GET IT!  They didn't say a dang thing wrong with the challenges they are going to face.  The world we live in is hard on us Black people up, down, left and right so don't act like that's some new-new ish that these women made up.  THAT IS REAL TALK!  They chose to self-segregate themselves for an entire lifetime...oh...but they gon' learn today!  LOL!

So yeah...spare me the ri-damn-diculous outrage that they are suing because they got a Black baby when they were supposed to get a White baby.  I've seen some of you fools clown because they put pickles on your burger at *INSERT FAST FOOD CHAIN HERE* so don't act like you wouldn't clown like somebody stole your damn bike if this happened to you.

UGH!

UGH!

UGH!

Now, I get it.  I understand that in a perfect world we would all have framily and friends with different skin colors and not buy into stereotypes of any kind.  It's annoying as fug that these people never knew any Black people until they went off to college but that's not as uncommon as you may think.  It ain't right and I always side eye the hell out of people who tell me this but it's their truth and, because it is their truth doesn't make them bad people.  Sure, they lived in their all White world and it didn't bother them until they had a Black daughter and that's a part of a bigger problem that our entire country has.  Not just the lesbian couple, because I read a recent study that said over 75% of White Americans don't have any non-White friends.  *BLINK*

Three quarters of whites don’t have any non-white friends

AND...I know a whole lot of Black people without any non-Black friends too.  It's the world we've all contributed to.  We've nurtured the beast as far as race is concerned and there is absolutely nothing any of us can do about it on a whole it seems so we simply have to work with what we can work with.  Our own individual steps.  Make a friend who doesn't look like you.  Shouldn't be that hard in my opinion.  But hey...I digress.  

What say you?  You mad that the couple is suing or do you get it?  Do they have a grievance in your opinion?  Would YOU sue if you were in their shoes?  And...would you have sued sooner?  Like...the day the baby was born and you noticed that she was not White?