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We always share the memes to pray for _________.

We always hold our breath in anticipation of what the murderer looked like.

We always speculate why the murderer did what he did.

We always think it was a terrorist attack until we see what the murderer looked like and, if it wasn't a radical Muslim...we use other descriptors.

We never seem to understand that anyone inflicting terror by mass murder is a terrorist.

We never understand that homegrown terrorism is real.

We always hold private and public vigils.

We always try to stay away from the details not wanting to put a face to the poor people murdered.

We always blame failed security.

We always look for accomplices.

We always commiserate with strangers we encounter throughout the day.

We are always grateful it wasn't our loved one murdered down.

We always hug our loved ones tighter.

We are always astonished at the lack of respect for human life.

We are always shocked at how easy it was.

We always ask the family why.

We always become over saturated with the news reports regarding.

We always worry about the wrong shit.

WE NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT GUN CONTROL.

And we probably never will.

Until next time...pray for the victims.  

Until next time...don't let terrorists win.  I know it's hard to do when the terrorists are already within our borders.  When the terrorists are American.

Call it what it is.

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Hurricane Maria victims NEED OUR HELP!

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I've been reading to see how we can help and this article has a lot of really great suggestions:   How You Can Help Hurricane Victims in Puerto Rico 

I mean...it's a shame how this has happened.  They really missed the boat on this one and the more you read, the angrier you get.  

Hurricane Maria pushes Puerto Rico's struggling hospitals to crisis point

By the numbers: More than half of Puerto Rico still without drinking water

One Day in the Life of Battered Puerto Rico

And the latest...

President Trump dedicates golf trophy to hurricane victims, Puerto Rico

I mean...there are seriously just NO.WORDS for this level of incompetence that is currently our government.  They aren't by the people nor for the people.  Just...no.

Oh well, share that link.  I pretty much have nothing to say nice.

 

Mommy Wars - The Ultimate Better Thans

She woke up at 5am and made enough coffee for two cups.  She removed the breakfast dishes from the table that she hadn’t had an opportunity to remove the day before.  The instant grits dried almost as hard as concrete on the plastic bowl.  She picked up her 6 year old son’s toys scattered around the room and put them in the basket she kept by the sofa. Next she folded the sofa blanket and straightened up as much as possible.

When her coffee was ready, she made a cup and took that first grateful sip, walking into the bathroom to start a bath for herself as quietly as possible so as to not wake her son.

Twenty minutes later, she woke her son, got him dressed for school, fed him breakfast and rushed out the door to drop him off to school and then go to her first job.

From 8 - 5, she worked for the state filing papers all day for petty lawsuits.  Her son catches the bus to her parent’s house.  His math tutor shows up and works with him for an hour a day on Monday and Wednesday and his reading tutor on Tuesday and Thursday.  Her parents are on a fixed income so she makes sure there is enough food in the house for all of them to eat during the week.  To afford all of this, she has a second job at the dollar store from 6pm to midnight.

At midnight, exhausted, she drives to her parent’s to pick up her son and she carries him to her car kissing his little neck and cheek softly so as not to wake him.  She puts a sweater over him in the cool night air and drives home.  At the last minute, right before her turn to go home, she remembers they are out of milk and decides to run in and pick up a gallon and a couple of apples.  She briefly debates removing her son from the car and considers letting him sleep with the doors locked, but she didn’t want him to get overheated since she’d recently watched a show about how quickly it gets hot in a car even during mild temperatures.

She only needed milk and eggs so she wouldn’t be in there longer than 10 minutes and she could see the car from inside the store so she left the car running with the air on and rushed in to get the milk and apples because her day started over again at 5am after having only 3 hours of sleep.

That was fiction.  

The real story is one where a single mother left her child in a running car at 1:15am to run into the grocery store and she returned to find her car, and her child, missing.  The car was found 15 miles away from the store with her son inside dead.  A bullet through the brain.

In the hours which followed her finding her car and child missing, back-to-back Amber alerts went out far and wide.  These Amber alerts woke us up in the middle of the night.  We read them, put our phones back on our nightstands and went back to sleep.

The mother did not go to sleep.  She waited for news of her child, terrified.  Hoping for the best but terrified of the worst.  A parent's worst nightmare playing out.  Not knowing where her child was, who had him, was he safe, what were they doing to him.

By the time we were eating breakfast, the news of his murder broke and all our collective hearts broke for that baby and his lost life.

By the time we were all reading the news reports online, the undercurrent of hateful rumors had started.  Speculation about why the mother was out that late started.  Stories of how the mother was in the club partying while the child was in the car.  Theories of how the child found a gun in the car while outside of the  club and accidentally killed himself.  Rumors that the mother was inside the store for over an hour waiting for the car to be fake stolen.  Adamant statements of the mother contacting the murderers and setting up a fake kidnapping so she wouldn't be charged with her child's murder.  And...the most startling of all...DEMANDS, IMMEDIATELY, FOR THE ARREST OF THE MOTHER FOR CHILD NEGLECT FOR LEAVING THE CHILD IN THE CAR.

Whenever I saw one of these statements and comments online I noted that the most vocal of them all were single mothers and, quite frankly, it came across with such an air of the "better-thans" that it was sickening.  "Look at me!  I'm better than her!  My child is still alive!"

Smug, nauseatingly so.  

"I'd never..."

"What kind of mother..."

After a mother lost her child in the blink of an eye.  Her baby in that car terrified, or maybe the baby didn't even wake up.  Just sleep and then dead.  A bullet to his lil developing brain.  Dead.

Why was it so quick that the potential story surrounding the child being in the car at that time of night be so ugly instead of the fictional story above?  Why was it so easy for so many people to jump on the bandwagon of straight damning this poor mother immediately after her child had been murdered?  Sure...she made a life altering decision to leave him in the car...but that woman didn't want her child to die.  SHE LOST HER CHILD!  

I saw pictures of this mother being carried by family members after she collapsed upon hearing the news of her child's murder.  

I saw pictures of her grief-stricken family, horrified. I read the story in the Clarion-Ledger and got so upset I had to walk away from the computer.  I had to walk away from all the perfect mothers who "would never..."

Turns out Ms. Archie, Kingston's mother, was in the store for 10 - 15 minutes buying medicine.  

Turns out the child was murdered after the car was stolen by, in another tragic twist to this horrible crime, 17 and 18-year-olds.

Turns out Kingston was murdered by at least one of the children who stole the car at 1:15am.

Turns out all those rumors were mean-spirited and evil.  Judge and jury in the midst of a mother's grief.  

Turns out...people will do the most to be "better-than" someone...even during the most heinous of times.

As you can tell...this shit has sat on me hard.  *sigh*

I know enough single mothers to know the shit is hard as fug.  I listen to how exhausted they are getting it all done.  I sit back and watch them do every single thing they can do to make sure their child/children have the best life possible.  Because I actually KNOW and interact with single mothers...I can empathize with this poor mother even though I'm not a mother myself.

You'd think that other single mothers would have been able to empathize with her even easier than I did.

But the ones spreading the rumors and calling for her to be charged chose the low road.

How dare you add to this woman's grief in such an ugly, ugly way.  How dare your narrative be so without compassion for another mother.  How dare you.

People Need to Quit

My week started out with back-to-back weird interactions with people.  

On Sunday, I had to go to Walmart.  Yeah...I know...already crazy.  Walmart.  And on a Sunday.  Crazy talk.

The homeless guy who is always by the car wash in front of the Walmart was standing there with his sign.  I rolled my window down and asked him did he need anything out of Walmart.  He said some food would be nice.  

Cool.

I got him some food from the deli and a couple of pre-made salads because everything in the deli was fried and I'm old school and believe meals should come with veggies of some sort which are NOT fried.

When I walked out of Walmart, he was standing across the row from my truck and told me that the police had made him move.  

Cool.

I handed him the bag with his food and told him that I'd thrown in some salads too.  He thanked me and said something about not having veggies in a while.  Then?

He hopped in the truck he had been standing next to and drove off while I stood there and watched him drive off.

Now, I know homeless people and people with immediate needs sometimes have vehicles but I was just so startled because I have honestly never seen someone who'd been standing on the road with a sign asking for help, drive off into the sunset after someone had given them something.

It was odd.

On Monday, I had to have a plumber come out to do some work.  The gentleman was extremely nice.  Good people.  He invited us to his church and kept trying to get me to change my mind about coming.  We kept talking and got on politics.  He mentioned the new laws in South Carolina and Mississippi about "religious freedom" and transgender bathroom use.  He shared that there was a gay couple in his church that everyone loved who were just great people and he hoped they didn't feel some kinda way thinking that everyone in their church supported the law.  Then he said the law in SC was something he supported, however, because...

Him:  I don't want some grown man in the bathroom with my 9-year-old daughter.

Me:  How would she know?  Is she looking under the stall divider?  Remember, women don't use urinals, we have doors that we can lock.  Also, the woman is NOT a man, she has been reassigned as a woman and, if your daughter HAD looked up under her skirt under the stall she would see the same software.  

Him:  I just don't want it to happen.  I mean,  they could do something to girls in the bathroom.

Me:  Or they could be so terrified that they are going to have to deal with some crazy mess just because they were in public and had to use the bathroom that they used the bathroom so fast you didn't even notice them.  Did you ever read the book "Middlesex?"  What about the people who were born with a little bit of this and a little bit of that and their parents, with guidance from their doctor, took action to assign a gender and, unbeknownst to them, assigned the wrong gender just trying to make their baby "normal?"  Do you think that poor child deserves to be persecuted for the rest of their life?  I mean...ya think that's how God wants you to handle it?

Him:  Well, I don't know about all that.  I just know how I feel.

SIP:  *sigh*

Such a simplistic view of a very real problem in the lives of some is cringe worthy.  To me.  As many defects as people end up having...yeah...okay.

Dude left so fast he forgot his utility knife.  I put it under the sink in the bathroom because I'm not in the mood to see him again.  

I’m a Transgender Man in North Carolina. Here’s What the Bathroom Law Means For Me.

I'm actually still feeling some kinda way.  I never remember anything about using the bathroom in public because my focus is on getting in and out of there with minimal time with major hand washing. Do people hang out in public bathrooms and that's how it comes to be that this is such a major issue?  Are transgender people in South Carolina holding sit-ins in the bathrooms naked from waist down?  

I should have asked him could I still come to his church if I was transgender huh?

The MIGHT.BE homeless guy did end up making me laugh cuz really...had you seen me in the parking lot watching him drive off...it was Seth MacFarland movie funny.  I was just standing there like, *BLINK,BLINK,BLINK*

Eh...I guess.

Have you had any interesting run-ins with strangers recently?  

When Little Johnny Football Becomes a Thug

I don't keep up with college football so I wasn't aware of Johnny Manziel until he was big time in the spotlight.  He talked a lot of trash and The Robinator would frown whenever he was on the screen.  Then, he'd speak and The Robinator would curl his lip and say, "What a jerk."

I started paying more attention to Johnny after that, wondering if he was getting a bad rap.  He was spirited and passionate about his wins and losses.  His emotions would come into play and hey...when your adrenaline is at a high...your emotions might come across kinda jerky right?  But then...you calm the hell down and be better right?

His trademark "make money" dance wasn't a big deal to me because hey...they all come up with their own thingy right?  I mean...I love when Cam dabs on 'em.  LOL!

Since the beginning of his college football career, Manziel has been in and out of trouble.  Little stuff, in my opinion, that folks normally overcome once your parents and your Elders snatch your azz and shame you up at the church when Pastor asks how college is going and your mother tells him that you out there acting like you weren't raised right.  But...being the starting QB in a college town can be an ego boost that arrogance responds to differently.  His parents started speaking out and Little Johnny Football got worse.  

Big time partying?  CHECK.

Not fulfilling practice obligations?  CHECK.

Cutting the EN-TIRE fool?  CHECK.

Drinking excessively?  CHECK.

Rehab?  CHECK.

I have always been a firm believer of respect for your parents being the first level of having respect for authority so reading about his parents saying he probably won't live to see age 24 when the child is 23 made me go HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...

Yesterday...new stuff popped off about to take Johnny on a journey.  Last night?  Little Johnny Football partied like a rockstar without a care in the world.

So...this morning I went into the ugly part of the internet to read what folks had to say.  The ugly party of the internet you ask?  Any place that allows anonymous comments.  I read a few dozen and was surprised that I didn't find much reference to Little Johnny Football being a thug.  Folks were praying for him to find his way back.  Some people were even calling his parents to task for not staying on top of him.  Basically, at 23 years old, in their eyes, he's just going through some things and he will show us all that he can still be the star QB in the NFL same as he was in college.

Little Johnny Football is getting a pass even as he is about to deal with these allegations of choking out his girlfriend.

I wonder what Cam thinks about that?


Racial Fatigue: Become friends with the monster...

I'm a cancer survivor, an infertility survivor and a child abuse survivor.  In other words...life has dealt me a few blows that I've had to work really hard at overcoming.  This disease that I can't seem to overcome unscathed however?  Racial Fatigue.  I'm about to topple over from this shit.  Seriously.  It's too much.  Everyday there is more ish and people figure out how to rope all kinds of ish into it to make every.single.thing about race and how Black people ain't shit, weren't ever shit and never gonna be shit and lawd...I'm so over it.  I'M SO OVER IT.  

I watched that video of that football player who punched the chick at the bar.  When I first saw the video I was like...damn...he shouldn't have hit her like that.  But then I read the story and I understood.  She called him THE SLUR before she hit him and he was trying to keep her hands off him and then he just snapped and laid her azz clean the fug out.

I UNDERSTAND.

I don't want men hitting women.  Duh.

I don't want women hitting men.  Duh.

BUT GOTDAMMIT I'M SICK OF MOTHERFUCKERS THINKING THEY CAN GET REAL SLICK WITH THIS RACIAL ISH AND THINKING THEY ARE ON THE LANDING OF TARA GOING WITH THE WIND AND SHIT.

There are signs out here with that damn flag on it saying, "Keep the flag, change the speaker."  Like...them signs popped up the next day of the current flag controversy.  Nice signs.  PROFESSIONALLY PRINTED SIGNS.  Somebody sat down at their computer immediately and designed that gotdamn sign and then saved that shit to a thumb drive.  Then they went to a PROFESSIONAL SIGN PRINTER and had them damn signs printed up.  Approved the proofs.  AND PAID FOR THEM!  Stands and all.  Then...they knew exactly where they could put that shit up and be like...THEY COOL WITH IT.  I KNOW.  You spent all that time and all that money promoting something which symbolizes hate and oppression to so many people.  Just don't give a fug huh?

JUST DON'T GIVE A FUG.

JUST DON'T GIVE A FUG.

And Black people ain't no damn better.  Fools running around here talking about they trotting out Bill Cosby to distract you from Charleston, that damn flag and racism.  GOTDAMMIT WHY THE FUG I CAN'T THINK ABOUT MORE THAN ONE THING AT A TIME?  WHY THE FUG YOU GOTTA TRY AND LIMIT ME TO ONE THING AT A TIME?  OH?  I AIN'T BLACK ENOUGH CUZ I HAVE THE BANDWIDTH TO BE OUTRAGED ABOUT MORE THAN ONE THING AT A TIME?  Cosby been raping and all these damn fools know he drugging folks but still slurping his jello shots.  

People mad at Black fashion bloggers cuz they just talking 'bout fashion.  Well shit...that's what they blog about!  Don't assume that just because they aren't deviating from their chosen business message that they don't talk about these issues in their personal life.  I mean hell...how many businesses yall know out there polarizing folks and surviving?  Them damn bakeries that refused to make cakes for gay people are OUT.OF.BUSINESS.  Ain't nobody got time to mix up their money behind systematic shit bigger than life.

SHIT!

I was called a racist by a stranger behind that damn flag.  Me.  A racist.  Okay. *YAWN*  Rat bastid quick to say some ish like...THAT'S REVERSE RACISM! 

SIP:  SHUT.THE.FUCK.UP!

And Donald Trump?  And all these damn Republican candidates tipping around not saying anything conclusive setting up a pick for Jeb Bush so he can trot out his Latina bride as a stop gap?  Yeah...we see you Jeb.  We see you.  I gotta hand it to you...that one was perfect.  

So yeah...I'm suffering bad from Racial Fatigue.  Bad man.  I'm so sick of and tired of this ish.  I'm tired of the disparities I see from my vantage point.  I'm tired of the for real serious wrongs that folks turn a blind eye to.  I'm tired of feeling like there is nothing I can do no matter what I do.  I'm tired.  I'm tired.  I'm tired.

There is nothing I can do about how individuals think, of course.  I can just continue to be me and see something, say something when I feel like it.  I've always surrounded myself with good people without focusing on visual differences.  I always try and see it from all sides but I'm tired.  I'm so very, very tired.  This is how people become hermits.  This is how people just start collecting dogs, cats and reading books.  Tipping out every now and then to buy fruit salad in a can running their grocery carts into the back of people cuz they are just trying to get outta there and back to their home/haven as quickly as possible.

This climate is a moral sickness we're all suffering from and the antidote lies within our hearts.  Empathy.  That's all we need to start using.  Empathy.

"I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed.  Get along with the voices inside of my head.  You trying to save me stop holding your breath.  And you think I'm crazy, you think I'm crazy! Well that's not fair!"

On Caitlyn Jenner

Caitlyn Jenner has arrived fully emblazoned on and in "Vanity Fair."  A blaze of fabulous clothes, cars, new boobs and hair.  Cheekbones to die for and eyebrows, as the young kids say, "on fleek."

I'm reading the hoopla and, of course, checking out the pictures.  I watched the Diane Sawyer special on her and was impressed with how well Diane tackled the subject and showcased the very real struggle.  I was touched that (at the time Bruce was still referring to himself as he) he was honest and candid about his journey.  I couldn't imagine the lifelong struggle.  I empathized with him greatly about that especially since someone I love has lived this journey all of her life.

And then...he said something that made me BLINK.

He said that, of course he's a Republican and I BLINKED again and again and again.  It really made me sit back and go...WOW.

The unabashed privilege of Bruce Jenner now Caitlyn was fully displayed.  The struggle that others face daily when going through this transition, was never there.  The money and the fame made him the automatic poster child even though other backs have been broken since the Roman Empire.  Caitlyn is on the cover of Vanity Fair, is a part of a hit reality show and has a new show about to come out.  Caitlyn is full of money that she will protect at all costs while you pull yourself up by your bootstraps.  LOL!  

I am glad to see we are living in a world where people are more comfortable living their truth proudly.  That warms my heart.

Caitlyn?  Old girl is a Republican.  LOL!

I mean...I guess right.  To each his own, blah, blah, blah.

Sometimes though...it simply makes my eyes squint.

GET.MONEY.

Scenario from Real Life

Your 5 year old child is invited to a birthday party.

You ask your child if he wants to go and he says yes.

You see the parent of the child who invited you and you tell her that your child is attending the party and looking forward to ti.

When the day arrives, you realize that you'd made plans for your children to spend the day with their grandmother.

Your child doesn't attend the party.

You didn't have contact information to let the parent know your child wasn't coming.

Your child comes home from school one day with a "No-Show" invoice for about $24.

Would you pay it?

From:  http://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/year-old-Plymouth-boy-gets-missing-school-friend/story-25884528-detail/story.html

Papa Johns

Disclaimer:  I don't eat Papa John's pizza.  Even if they sold gluten-free organic pizza...I still wouldn't eat there because I think the owner is a dick.  

So...a Papa John's employee was delivering pizza and then robbed at gunpoint.

She pulled out her gun and shot him in the face.

Papa John's policy is that employees are not allowed to carry firearms while working.

The robber dude ran away and the police found him in someone's yard and arrested him.

Papa John's has decided to not fire the employee and will instead transfer her to another position.

Betwix you and me...I hope that job is HEAD.DAMN.GUNSLINGER.EXTRAORDINARE!!!!!!!!!

That's all.  I had not one problem with her shooting that little shit.  She shoulda stood over him yelling "PIZZA, PIZZA!"

SIP:  That's not Papa John's slogan, that's Little Caesar's slogan.

Me:  Semantics.

What say you?  You have a problem with any of this?  Should they have fired her for breaking company rules?

 

Should She Be Charged?

There are more than a few things that irked me about this entire story.  

1.  The caption on that picture.  Why is it necessary to make mention of another crime that happened almost a month before this baby disappeared?

2.  He was 4 and playing outside in his own yard when he fell in the hole.  They reported him missing and searched for the baby and he was found in that hole two days later.  

3.  The ruled his death accidental but his mother is getting charged with negligent homicide.  

What say yall?  

Why is Gas so Cheap Right Now?

The other night I completely filled up my truck for $35 at $2.39 per gallon.  I was astonished.  I hardly ever pay attention to how much gas costs because hey...it costs what it costs and I need it so I have to buy it and it's never on sale.  I always notice sales so I definitely noticed that it only cost me $35.

Every newspaper and website I read have tackled the reason why.  Some of them more convoluted than others.  I ran across this video which explains it better than anything else I've seen in about two minutes.  Check it out.

How much did you pay for gas last?

Dear Chief Flynn:

I straight up applaud you for this.  Like...I damn near stood up and started clapping.  Yes...there are underlying reasons why a lot of those things happen but the end result is as you stated it and that's what you are dealing with day in and day out.  To those people who had a problem with what you said...can you name the last three homocide victims yet?  

What say YOU?