"So. His loss. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Next." ~ T-Monnie
That right there is what I will always say when a woman tells me they are broken hearted because some dude has broken up with them. See...I'm not a fan of ANYONE being with someone who doesn't want to be with them. Not even a lil bit. I know it hurts...but you need to let him walk out of your life for good. There is no way you can convince someone who has decided they don't want you any more to have any feelings toward you other than pity.
And who in the hell wants to be with someone who pities them?
I'll answer for you. NOT.YOU.
NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER YOU.
You need to let that joker roll out and close the door. Then...you have exactly 21 days to grieve what COULD have been had he still wanted to be with you. Had he not disrespected you. Had he not made you feel like something was wrong with you for wanting normal things a relationship between a grown azz man and a grown azz woman brings.
And what's up with all these "friends" people have these days? My 15-year-old nephew has more of a mature relationship with his lil girlfriend than adults have these days. You ask someone if the person they are spending time with is their girlfriend or boyfriend and they clutch their pearls like something is wrong with that.
Them: Oh no! Nothing like that! We're just friends!
Me: Friends, huh?
Them: Friends with benefits but yeah...just friends.
Get a damn adult toy hell.
WHY IN THE HELL YOU DOING ALL YOU DO BEHIND SOME FRIENDSHIP SHIT? THAT IS NOT YOUR DAMN FRIEND HELL! THE MF DOESN'T EVEN CALL YOU LIKE TALKING ABOUT!
People text from funerals these days so you don't think they are above texting you when they are with someone else? Or texting someone else when they are with you?
THAT AIN'TCHO FRIEND!
My friends treat me with respect and dignity. They look out for me. They answer the phone when I call. If I need them, they are there.
We don't bump uglies.
But yall out here doing that and more and calling them your "friend" because you CLEARLY don't know what a real friendship is either.
Imma need yall to stop. Seriously. I'm sick of this shit and, at the rate yall are going...the damn growth of the population is going to mess around and stop because nobody is thinking about starting a family with someone they love and respect anymore. I am so sick of this crap man!
So again...if a man or woman tells you they don't want you anymore, that is a hint and half for your azz that they are not the one for you. God sends you pebbles before He hits you with a brick. If you don't let that fool roll on once they have drawn the line in the sand you are going to sign yourself up for being used and mentally abused by someone who never thinks about you unless you are texting them or trying to win them back. The other times? They are thinking about the possibilities with someone they DO want.
And, again...THAT IS NOT YOU.
Does it mean something is wrong with you? No. Just means that THEY didn't like you. And that's okay. Fuck them.
And you know what? Next doesn't need to come too soon. You need to regroup and remember why in the hell you are so gotdamn fly, fabulous and funky. You need to read some books and watch some great movies. You need to spend time with people who VALUE you. You need to cook some amazing shit and you need to feel good about WHY you are the way you are. You need to peel that old scaley, dry snakeskin off and get your fucking glow back up. You were fly when that fool met you...YOU ARE STILL FLY.
You need to be done with making excuses for who you are. Be you. Be every.single.thing you want to be. Be amazing and awesome and so gotdamn charming and gracious that nothing but good energy is attracted to you from now on.
AND NO MORE GOTDAMN "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" UNLESS THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT! If you want a relationship with a dude...it NEVER starts with a friends with benefits situation. Carry yourself like a woman who handles her business and who looks forward to living a good, drama free life.
AND GO ON DATES!
If a dude doesn't go on dates that ain't the dude for you.
He should be proud to have you on his arm at concerts, parties, barbeques, weddings, christenings, etc. Why? Because he knows you carry yourself well in all situations.
Because you are a FUCKING LADY!
I'm sick of some of the shit I hear about. Spending time with a dude who called you a bitch yesterday? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.
And sticking with a dude who constantly cheats on you? You are some kinda special stupid doormat. And everyone knows and thinks that. Have some damn dignity about yourself. PUT YOURSELF ON THE PEDESTAL YOU BELONG ON!
And if you don't feel it, can't feel it, for whatever reason? Get a dog. They will love you unconditionally forever.
Be better to yourself. Sheesh.
I know it hurts. It always does. We've all been there. We have all done stupid things for love.
And we all survived.
And most of us are with someone else now. Someone who cherishes us. And who knows to duck when we throw a pillow at them cuz they hit you with a lactose filled fart cloud while yall were watching a romantic feel-good movie. Grieve. Lean into it. 21 days. You get 21 days to feel like shit. Then...
BE FLY AGAIN.