Rantings of a Creole Princess: Wrapped Wrong

I wake in the mornings softly most days. Robby brings me my coffee and I drink it in bed and read and watch the news. I then get dressed for the Y and I unwrap my hair and pull it up and out of the way so I can lay on the floor without my ponytail position bothering me. I work out for an hour, drink water and get back in my truck.

AND THAT DAMN LINE FROM MY SLEEP HEADSCARF IS STILL ON MY FOREHEAD!

Seriously.

Just wrapped wrong.

This is getting old man. All the elasticity just sapped out of your once supple skin. I mean really. This ish is for the complete birds! I wanna fight folks! I can’t read anything I hold in my hand unless I put on my readers and I’m always looking for a pair when I have damn near twenty pair since my sister is having the same problem and when she buys cute ones for herself, she buys cute ones for me. And, of course, all the super cute ones are long gone but the regular cute and the okay ones hide under the sofa, under the bed, etc. There are probably 5 pair on my bathroom counter right now but the pair I currently have on are crooked.

I have never been able to touch my toes but I’m trying to work on being more flexible. Why? I don’t wanna break a hip one day because I can’t move right. Crazy that this is something I am for real, seriously worried about now. I walk around asking my husband how much fiber he’s had and if he has had any fruit that day. It’s like all of the things you know you’re supposed to do just now become so much more important. You start thinking of food as medicine and as body repairers in ways you’ve never done before. I try my best to eat a tomato every other day to get some good lycopene in my system to help with anti-aging and I have used vitamin E oil on my face forever but now I know I have to use some vitamin C too so I use this pricey serum with vitamin C in it in the morning so I have that extra stuff too and seriously…THERE IS JUST SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE that it gets sooooooooooooooooooooo overwhelming but hell…I’m vain. I’ve always been vain. I like to be cute so yeah…the kid is going to go down fighting. I mean, I’m not ever going to have plastic surgery done or anything but I’ll work hard at putting the right stuff inside my body and on my skin ya know?

IT IS OKAY TO BE VAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I get me a dragon fruit ginger lemonade to help with inflammation because that’s another damn thing I have to think about now. Flipping inflammation. I have heredity bags under my eyes. Always have. Now? If I drink a lil glass of wine I wake up and the contents of the glass are in big azz bags under my eyes. If I need to be super fresh face somewhere I have to go a full three days without any wine and hell…I enjoy my glass of wine with my dinner. I know it is bad to say I need that glass but I do. It soothes my soul. LOL!

And water. I’ve always been really good about drinking water and believe that’s the main reason I haven’t spontaneously combusted yet but now it’s like medicine for me. Oh…and I have to drink it all before 7pm because if I don’t I’ll have to get up too many times during the night to use it. It’s too much man. I have to plan out my coffee and water intake before going anywhere because man…that tiny bladder is deep and real and yall remember I have issues that I’m not working on so I can’t just roll up on any bathroom ya know? So I’ve made friends with all of the clean bathroom owners on my routes. LOL! No lie yall. No lie. I will bring a dozen of donuts to you and your employees every once and a while to make sure I have access to your restroom when I’m out and about. LOL!

I did have some fun with some furniture last week so that was cool. I turned this primitive trunk into something pretty awesome to store throw pillows in and I LOVE it!

I even sang a song about it. Wanna hear it? Hear it go!

I turned this old cedar wardrobe into something functional for a guest bedroom as a guest closet. I know the closet in my guest room houses my coats. Something like this would be perfect for a guest to use as a closet. It would house their towels and all the guest toiletries in case they need something you know? I think I’ve decided to put glass knobs on it. Nice, right?

And I’m turning this sweet dresser and matching nightstand into nursery furniture. The furniture was the baby’s mommy’s furniture growing up.

My favorite part of my week outside of my home is early Friday morning. I’ve given up control over my hair to my hairstylist. I don’t want to do a darn thing to it ever again myself. She got me back on the right track with a good cut and I’m hoping with her care it will grow back to a decent ponytail by the end of the year. I have to be at my store by 10am so I get to her at 8am and she has me out of there no later than 9:15. And I’m cute for the weekend of personal activities with my family! See how that works out? GO ME! I’ll probably still get braids when I have a lot of new growth since I hope to get no more than 4 relaxers per year.

So I’m trying to eat well and drink more water than wine. Speaking of wine, my new favorite drink is 1 to 2 ratio of Tito’s vodka to Limoncello with a splash of tonic water and a lemon twist. It is so decadent and perfectly perfect for the summer! Just a crisp and cool drink! You should try it!

Okay…how old are you and what aging challenges are you dealing with right now? Have you figured some things out the rest of us need to know about? Yall got some hot flash secrets? Are you working out? Eating whole foods? Do you come home and immediately put on soft pants too? LOL!

WHATCHALL BEEN DOING? ANY NEW BABIES? HOW THE BABIES I “KNOW” DOING? HOLLA ATCHA GIRL!

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Going, Going, Gone...Gray

I have been going gray for a minute now and I stomped all up and down declaring that I was just going to let it go until it is all the way gray and be a gray head rockstar looking all super sleek and whatnot.

I saw myself looking like this:

Just all one-dimensional amazing with some banging natural silvery highlights.

All regal and what not ya know? QUEENLY! I planned on wearing a lot of purple. Rich silks with like...some braiding on it or something. I'm talking straight up Egyptian royalty in the house! (Great...now I can't get "Egyptian Lover out my head...UGH!"

Yall...I was ready to wake up already LIT!

The reality of it, however? It's gon' take a minute and I am struggling so much so that I think I'm going to have to do some temporary stuff in the middle of it all so I don't walk around here looking like someone without mirrors in her home.

This is my hair air dried and without heat or moisturizer on it to give it some semblance of a cohesive color and tame it. This is my natural hair color and I am convinced God doesn't want me to live like this anymore. Whenever He looks my way He probably shakes his head and says..."Oh no, baby...what is you doing? I have given chemists the ability to create hair color so that you can handle that situation! WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY???????"

I've tried everything to keep it contained. I even had box braids for three weeks (I couldn't get used to all that hair and I promise my neck was tired holding up that hair.) and after seeing my little cousin with Dutch Goddess braids, I even did a version of it on my own using braid hair and French braids (cuz I can't do them dang opposite braids to save my life) and they were okay but only last a good week for me because my exposed hair starts looking too fuzzy.

And it totally doesn't help that this guy I'm married to looks all distinguished gentleman and whatnot rocking his gray. (So unfair and honestly...just rude...)

I'd like to find something between the two different braid styles using braid hair to keep it under wraps until more of the gray transition has happened. Something that covers more of my hair but doesn't have to use so much braid hair. I'm serious...I had for real, serious neck pain with all that hair and I got sick of wiping oatmeal off strands every.single.morning. That's just gross. I wish I could have kept them in longer though.

So I'm back to considering color but don't know where to start. My funky red/brown/gray color is just odd as heck to me. My hair is low-porosity so by the very definition it's more difficult to color and it's as healthy as relaxed hair can be and I don't want to sustain any damage with keeping color on longer during the coloring process. Oh...and those temporary colors just slide off onto my pillowcase anyway so...

*sigh*

If anyone has any tips...holla atcha girl. I'm desperate.

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Current Hair Struggle

I went to the hair salon Friday before last.

I normally wash my hair once a week.

"House of Cards" came out so there was no way I was washing my hair last Friday.

I had to pick up one of my Elders on Saturday morning so there was no way I was washing it Saturday morning and risk being late. (I don't want no trouble.)

Got home late Saturday and well..."House of Cards."

Sunday morning I had to get organized for the week right quick and then ran out of time because, again..."House of Cards."

Mondays are my off days and I simply didn't feel like it since I wasn't going anywhere, seeing anybody, doing anything. ('Cept I ended up taking Jaru to the doctor in the rain.)

Today? I'm actually for real working. Not happening unless someone comes up in here and does it for me.

Tomorrow doesn't make sense because it's Wednesday and I have a hair appointment first thing Thursday morning.

Buns are my friends.

TELL ME I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON THIS KINDA STUFF HAPPENS TO SOMETIMES!!!!!! PLEASE! I REALLY NEED TO FEEL NORMAL RIGHT NOW!

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Question From My Inbox:

“Hi Monnie! I have a quick question. Is there a reason why you pincurled your hair after flat ironing it? ”

Answer: Yes ma'am! When I wear my hair straight I have to wrap it in order to keep it straight or it looks a mess and I hate wrapping my hair because, at age 45, my edges are covered in gray hair that is dry and naturally brittle. Wrapping my hair puts stress on those hairs. When I wear it curly, at night I simply pull it up in a loose high ponytail and roll the ends around a single green roller pinning it in place with a large bobby pin. I don't have to use a comb or brush to gather it. Just hang my head upside down and use my hands to smooth it. When I remove the roller the next morning, my hair falls in curls since it's cut in layers. No combing out needed. Just hands. I find it works better for me. Once the curls stop because of day-to-day oil and dirt buildup I'm back to my ponytail or bun. LOL! I try my damnedest to only actually use a comb on my hair a minimum of once a week. :)

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