"He don't want me no more..."

"So. His loss. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. Next." ~ T-Monnie

That right there is what I will always say when a woman tells me they are broken hearted because some dude has broken up with them. See...I'm not a fan of ANYONE being with someone who doesn't want to be with them. Not even a lil bit. I know it hurts...but you need to let him walk out of your life for good. There is no way you can convince someone who has decided they don't want you any more to have any feelings toward you other than pity.

And who in the hell wants to be with someone who pities them?

I'll answer for you. NOT.YOU.

NEVER YOU.

NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER YOU.

You need to let that joker roll out and close the door. Then...you have exactly 21 days to grieve what COULD have been had he still wanted to be with you. Had he not disrespected you. Had he not made you feel like something was wrong with you for wanting normal things a relationship between a grown azz man and a grown azz woman brings.

And what's up with all these "friends" people have these days? My 15-year-old nephew has more of a mature relationship with his lil girlfriend than adults have these days. You ask someone if the person they are spending time with is their girlfriend or boyfriend and they clutch their pearls like something is wrong with that.

Them: Oh no! Nothing like that! We're just friends!

Me: Friends, huh?

Them: Friends with benefits but yeah...just friends.

Me: Oh.

Get a damn adult toy hell.

WHY IN THE HELL YOU DOING ALL YOU DO BEHIND SOME FRIENDSHIP SHIT? THAT IS NOT YOUR DAMN FRIEND HELL! THE MF DOESN'T EVEN CALL YOU LIKE TALKING ABOUT!

People text from funerals these days so you don't think they are above texting you when they are with someone else? Or texting someone else when they are with you?

THAT AIN'TCHO FRIEND!

My friends treat me with respect and dignity. They look out for me. They answer the phone when I call. If I need them, they are there.

We don't bump uglies.

But yall out here doing that and more and calling them your "friend" because you CLEARLY don't know what a real friendship is either.

Imma need yall to stop. Seriously. I'm sick of this shit and, at the rate yall are going...the damn growth of the population is going to mess around and stop because nobody is thinking about starting a family with someone they love and respect anymore. I am so sick of this crap man!

So again...if a man or woman tells you they don't want you anymore, that is a hint and half for your azz that they are not the one for you. God sends you pebbles before He hits you with a brick. If you don't let that fool roll on once they have drawn the line in the sand you are going to sign yourself up for being used and mentally abused by someone who never thinks about you unless you are texting them or trying to win them back. The other times? They are thinking about the possibilities with someone they DO want.

And, again...THAT IS NOT YOU.

Does it mean something is wrong with you? No. Just means that THEY didn't like you. And that's okay. Fuck them.

FUCK.

THEM.

NEXT.

And you know what? Next doesn't need to come too soon. You need to regroup and remember why in the hell you are so gotdamn fly, fabulous and funky. You need to read some books and watch some great movies. You need to spend time with people who VALUE you. You need to cook some amazing shit and you need to feel good about WHY you are the way you are. You need to peel that old scaley, dry snakeskin off and get your fucking glow back up. You were fly when that fool met you...YOU ARE STILL FLY.

You need to be done with making excuses for who you are. Be you. Be every.single.thing you want to be. Be amazing and awesome and so gotdamn charming and gracious that nothing but good energy is attracted to you from now on.

Shit.

AND NO MORE GOTDAMN "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" UNLESS THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT! If you want a relationship with a dude...it NEVER starts with a friends with benefits situation. Carry yourself like a woman who handles her business and who looks forward to living a good, drama free life.

AND GO ON DATES!

If a dude doesn't go on dates that ain't the dude for you.

Shit.

He should be proud to have you on his arm at concerts, parties, barbeques, weddings, christenings, etc. Why? Because he knows you carry yourself well in all situations.

Because you are a FUCKING LADY!

I'm sick of some of the shit I hear about. Spending time with a dude who called you a bitch yesterday? Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

And sticking with a dude who constantly cheats on you? You are some kinda special stupid doormat. And everyone knows and thinks that. Have some damn dignity about yourself. PUT YOURSELF ON THE PEDESTAL YOU BELONG ON!

And if you don't feel it, can't feel it, for whatever reason? Get a dog. They will love you unconditionally forever.

Be better to yourself. Sheesh.

I know it hurts. It always does. We've all been there. We have all done stupid things for love.

And we all survived.

And most of us are with someone else now. Someone who cherishes us. And who knows to duck when we throw a pillow at them cuz they hit you with a lactose filled fart cloud while yall were watching a romantic feel-good movie. Grieve. Lean into it. 21 days. You get 21 days to feel like shit. Then...

BE FLY AGAIN.

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Marriage...What's it worth to you?

I hear a lot about unhappily married people. And what I don't hear, I can read between the lines and make an educated guess about even though I know I'll never know for sure if my guess was correct or not.

A friend posted that meme on Facebook and I'm hoping the woman pictured told him no because there is nothing joyous in her face about this proposal at all. This is a sign of even more misery to come. See...being proposed to should bring about some happiness right? And it looks like she is seriously contemplating some ish he did recently that makes her second guess her love for him and vice versa.

This reminds me of that video by Tyrese with Taraji in it where he did all kinds of miscreant nonsense he is apologizing to her for doing and only when she was packed up to leave him with their SCHOOL AGE child, did he fall to his knee and propose in a last ditch effort to keep her. Proposing shouldn't be a last ditch effort. It should be what you've been building towards as a couple. It should have been clearly stated that both of you are interested in being married one day. And both of you should have been acting like that's what you were working towards by respecting the relationship and each other.

If dude has ever, at any time, told you that he's not getting married, don't expect him to pop the question and make you officially his partner in life. Don't think, for an instant that he will change no matter how much yall have been through. He has already told you where he stands on marriage so if you want to get married...he might not be the one.

Now, of course, we've all heard of the couple where the man was adamant that he wasn't getting married but she gave him an ultimatum and he broke down and did it. To that I say...um...really? You're good with having to DEMAND he do what a man should WANT to do? With the natural progression of being a mature adult? Of being the man of your household?

I know you probably imagine a wonderful loving life as a wife and his missing rib but do you really think that a man who doesn't respect the institution of marriage is going to change if you force him to marry you?

The look on old girl's face is saying a whole lot of how she feels in her heart. She's not happy. She's been hurt. She doesn't want to embarrass him and she wishes it were the real, genuine deal she's dreamed about...but she knows she won't have the marriage she wants with this guy.

But she will probably say yes and be in a marriage in name only as the spirit of the union will be lost in his continued behavior. The kind of man who never grows up and is simply a pubescent child in a man's body with all the nonsense that comes along with that.

Take your time, don't put up with any bullshit because once you do...the bullshit will keep coming since there were no severe repercussions the last time you were presented with the bullshit.

You'd be much happier on your own living in peace of your own making. I know lots of women who are happy, well traveled and loving life. Life is the longest thing you'll do. Don't let a fool make it miserable.

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On Putting It All Out There

The other day a friend posted the link to a Craigslist ad that was making rounds on social media. I clicked on it, of course, and read one of the most thought out personal ads I've ever seen. The gentleman put it all out there down to the most minute details of who he was and what he was looking for. He was thorough and thoughtful. He clearly knew what he wanted and he didn't come across as someone who couldn't compromise. He seemed like a really old fashioned guy who was lonely and tired of being alone.

I posted the ad and decided I'd blog about it when I got a chance so I cut and pasted the ad along with a few of his pictures so I could refer back to it. Turns out...his ad was flagged for removal by some jerk for whatever reason and it was removed so it's a good thing that I cut and pasted it. Craigslist Ad for Live-In Girlfriend or Wife

I have a few people I love who are single and who have pretty much given up on finding someone. It's like...they don't even worry about it anymore because past disappointments have created disdain for the process. Nobody has time to actually get to know people anymore and the rat race of weeding through the serious people seems to take a toll on even the most positive people.

I was reading an article about the comedian Amy Schumer and how she met her boyfriend on the site, Bumble. The article said that it makes online dating less icky for women because men can't send you messages unless you've clicked on their profile giving them permission to do so. This way, women get less creepy comments from weirdos. I sent it to a few people because I thought it was interesting. Only one decided to give it a try. The others were like..."I'm over it." And their full and active lives prove that they aren't sitting around waiting for some relationship to happen either. They are out there enjoying life to the fullest. And I get that.

So...back to my boy and his Craigslist ad...

When I first posted it, I was surprised that more people didn't see it as I did. Folks were straight clowning him saying that it reeked of desperation and that he was probably a serial killer. I don't know much about serial killers but they pretty much seem to keep their profile on the low-low right? I mean...would they advertise for someone to come live with them and include pictures, etc? Seems to me that would be counter-productive to being a serial killer. Seems to me that you'd only get to kill just once cuz they'd know where to find yall. Eh...maybe I'm overthinking serial killing. As far as him being desperate? Probably. He's probably tired as shit of the dating game. I can see him now deciding to just go for it after yet another failed "traditional" date. He was probably sitting across from someone who ordered something to go and was like...you know what? This is for the birds. I just want to get this part over with already and he rolled home, booted up his desktop computer and put it all out there.

I can totally, totally see it.

I think about how I'd feel if I didn't have The Robinator and I can't even put into words how lonely I'd feel. I can't imagine a day going by without talking to him and I certainly can't imagine a life without him. No more snuggles, hugs and kisses? No more private jokes? No more just because moments? Sheesh...

I feel like it's a good thing to wish that everyone has someone who is good to and for them. I want this guy to find someone to love who could love him and I want them to live forever in that paid for house and have a GOOD life together. I want his efforts to put it all out there to not be in vain. I want there to be two more people in the world who understand unconditional love because they have it.

Why is that a bad thing?

I love love. I hope you do too.

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Craigslist Ad for Live-in Girlfriend or Wife Wanted

“[WHAT I WANT]: I’m seeking a non-smoking female, size 14 or smaller [aka “under” size 16 unless you are tall and carry it well] “probably” under age 58, no taller than 5’10 [because I’m 5’10], who is drug, disease and drama free [Like I am], to share my nice 1967 brick ranch home with as my live-in girlfriend/lover and possibly be my wife later in 2016 if you want [not required]. To be clear, I am NOT looking for “just” a roommate. I’m looking for a Girlfriend/Lover/Wife/Life companion to do the following with: cuddle while watching movies, shop for groceries, cook, eat, trade massages/kisses, etc. You must NOT be an alcoholic, must NOT have unresolved felonies and NOT have a warrant out for your arrest. Other than that we can talk about your past issues BUT, you must be honest from day one! I’m a former Private Investigator so I “will” check you out. “Females” of any race will be considered but you must speak decent-to-good English. If your English is bad, we won’t work out. I’m NOT concerned about what kind of job you have [if any] at the time we meet [retired, self-employed, Sonic, T.J Maxx, unemployed, Walmart, or whatever]. You may even be on SSD or waiting on a Social Security Disability claim because of Anxiety, Depression, Fibromyalgia, OCD or whatever. I’m sorry but we all know what we want and I’m just stating my wants up front. Many guys have just as many preferences as me but they usually do not put them all in their ad.

[MAJOR BONUSES]: You’ll have the whole front bathroom to yourself. I’ll be in charge of all the laundry plus I will cook and/or prepare our food sometimes, or all the time if you can’t or don’t want to! You will not have to pay for rent, power, cable TV [I have all 8 HBO channels], WIFI internet, natural gas, garbage service or water. I have a Sam’s Club Membership too. If you do not have a car, we can get you one as I have 2 friends that own used car lots and a few others that work for new dealers that get trade-ins. If your credit is bad I can teach you how to rebuild it. If you have no credit score [aka thin credit] I can probably get you on the board in only two months with a 665+ score, which is “FAIR”. “GOOD” starts at 720 by the way.

[ABOUT ME]: I’m a 52 year old East Marietta, GA [Cobb County] homeowner. I listed myself as age 49 to get views from ladies that type in 49 or 50 as their max, because I look younger than my age plus more views increases my chances. I’m a straight Single White Male, 5’10” tall, with no kids or pets. I have no tattoos or piercings but if you do that is fine. Mom died a few years ago and I’m now back in the house I grew up in. Considering that AND the facts that I’ve lived in Marietta all of my life, known and trust the neighbors for over 20+ years AND it is paid for, I never plan to move from my current home. So if you “never” plan to move from your place, even if we fall in love, we are not a match unfortunately. I own the house free and clear, in my name only, so I have no rent or mortgage payment. It’s a 3 bedroom with 2 full baths, full basement, double carport, central AC/heat and 2 driveways. It’s in a safe neighborhood 11 miles outside of the 285 perimeter at exit 267A [Canton Rd]. My house is fully furnished with 2 couches, 3 beds, washer & dryer and everything you need. I have a 42” Vizio TV hung on the wall in the living room but I plan to upgrade this year to 65” with 4K UHD, then the other will go in the bedroom. I have 2 microwaves in a nice white remodeled kitchen with a large fridge/freezer, TV, glass top stove and oven. You can have your own drawer and/or section of the fridge if you want. The back porch with a cement floor has been fully enclosed with carpet, paneling, a triple window, lights and a HVAC vent. It’s a nice room for a pool table, workout equipment, photography studio, massage tables, a large hot tub/jacuzzi or an office depending on what business you are in [if any] or what type of business you might want to start with me [if any]. Join me and let’s decide! I have no bed bugs, rodents, fleas or roaches by the way! The house is sealed up pretty tight and I spray around the outside once, sometimes twice a year. Even though I’m retired and do not work, I do have a stable income that I get by on since I only have 7 bills a month and I owe no money to any person, company or bank. I’m a blue jeans a sneakers kind of guy and NOT a slacks, coat and tie guy. I have no pets or kids, but I absolutely will “consider” women that have only 1 kid [no infants or toddlers] or 1 dog/cat that has to come with them. My backyard is fenced in. However, women without kids/pets go to the front of the line. I basically do not drink alcohol [2 drinks in 2015] but if you do that is ok, as long as you are not an alcoholic.

I’m caring, communicative, compassionate, considerate, dependable [but often late leaving the house a few minutes], detailed [in case you can not tell yet!], faithful, gentle, intelligent, kind, loyal, outspoken, reasonable, respectful, supportive, touchy-feely, trustworthy, understanding and witty. I know that trust AND proper communication are 2 of the biggest keys to any type of relationship so you won’t have to guess with me. I think 2 adults should talk things out sensibly when an issue comes up and never hang up the phone mad or go to bed angry. I go with a very low haircut [#1 guard/basically bald]. I’m not handsome but I’m not expecting gorgeous either so please do not be shy or timid. I like to buy my lady flowers, cards and gifts for no reason at all plus I never forget birthdays, Anniversaries or Valentine’s Day!

[SEX]: I’m NOT into cyber sex, phone sex or sexting to name just a few. I’m straight, not bisexual. I like cuddling, kissing and massages as foreplay. If you’re celibate then we are not a match. Ask me anything else you want to know and feel free to tell me your likes and dislikes. I use condoms even for oral, to avoid STDs. When I trust you and we decide to date exclusively I expect you to go get tested with me at my expense.

[RELIGION]: I’m a Christian, attended services regularly thru about age 18 and was baptized in May of 1974 [age 11]. I do pray every so often but do NOT know the Bible well and have NOT attended any services in several years. I believe in the 10 Commandments and doing the right thing. Many hypocrites are in the pews every Sunday and a person does not have to attend services to get to Heaven in my opinion. So, if you are very religious then we “might” not be a match.

[POLITICS]: I do not want to be considered Democrat or Republican. I consider myself an Independent that is Pro-Life and Pro-Gun [I’ve had a carry permit for 23+ years]. You can not get a carry permit if you are crazy, have a drug conviction, a felony or even a violent misdemeanor so that right there let’s you know I’m safe and sane. I’m not a member of the NRA and I do not hunt by the way. If you are pro-choice you are not ruled out. I “do” think abortion should be legal in cases of rape, incest and the mother’s health issues. I’m mostly conservative and lean mostly to the right but I do have “some” liberal viewpoints such as “rights for gays”. If you’re an Independent that leans to the left then that’s ok. If you’re a vocal liberal then we are “probably” not a match but we can be friends. My best male friend is a big Democrat by the way.

[ACTIVITIES]: FaceBook, YouTube, Music CDs, 70’s/80’s/90’s music & trivia, Google, 60’s & 70’s cars, billiards/pool, collecting trading cards, collecting car magazines, garage sales, walking, buying AND selling on ebay, FB or CL, cooking and home improvements.

[FAV MLB TEAMS] #1=Braves. #2=Pirates.
[FAV MUSIC] B-52’s / Cars / Def Lep / Dread Zeppelin / Frankie Valli / Gap Band / Joan Jett / Led Zeppelin / Lez Zeppelin / Lynyrd Skynyrd / Metal Elvis / No Doubt / RUN-D.M.C. / Van Halen
[FAV NASCAR DRIVERS] Ford people! I’m not into it that much really but I could be if you are.
[FAV NBA TEAMS] #1=Hawks. #2=Spurs.
[FAV NCAA TEAMS] #1=GA Bulldogs. #2=Oklahoma Sooners. #3=Duke. #4=Kennesaw St. Owls
[FAV NFL TEAMS] #1=Falcons. #2=Raiders. #3=Cowboys. #4=Steelers.

Dr. Phil says “Every relationship is a negotiation” and “Basically everything is negotiable”.
So, let’s negotiate! Email me now :-)

This ad is updated regularly with new info and/or pictures.
Last updated: Tuesday 01-12-15.
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THE END

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— http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/roo/5389885471.html

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Fug 'em!

I can't tell you enough how to not worry about people who aren't worth worrying about. Every second you spend on them is taking away from you being the light you need to be.

FUCK.

THEM.

Do you.

And smile because you're genuinely happy. If you're not happy...don't smile. That fake ish is for the birds. Tweet...tweet!

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So yeah...this happened.

Top 7 Reasons Why Single Black Men Don't Approach Black Women

Thoughts?

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Dating and the Separated Spouse

What's your personal stance on dating someone who is for real, legally separated AFTER the period they had to wait before they could officially file for divorce? Like...years after.

Have your beliefs on this changed? Did you ever feel differently than you do now? If you were for real dating someone and then found out they weren't divorced yet...would it change your mind about the person?

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