I Just Want to RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!

I have a framily member who has a lot of pressure on them.  Their family depends on them to be the strong one and the one who takes care of every.single.thing.  I remember once asking them what they were doing for a major holiday and they shared that their family was coming over to their house for an entire week.  Folks flying in, people who already live in the area spending the night, etc.  They didn't sound overly excited about it so I asked...well...what would you LIKE to do?

Answer:  Go somewhere by myself and be left the hell alone for the entire week.  No calls, no texts, no emails, no nothing.  Just me, myself and I.  

Since I require a lot of alone/down time, I tried imagining a life where I was NEVER left alone unless I was driving to and from work.  I couldn't.

On Sunday, Paul Kitterman was attending a Denver Broncos game with his son and a couple of friends.  At halftime...he got up to go to the bathroom and never returned.  He didn't have his cellphone with him or any credit cards.  Reports say he only had about $50 cash on him.

Now...my first thought when this went this went down was...how did they know he didn't have his credit cards, cellphone and only $50 on him?  Did he specifically tell someone..."Man...I left my cellphone and my credit cards.  All I have on me is about fifty dollars."  Sounded suspicious to me.

But I hoped no foul play was involved and that he was found alive and safe.

Again...sounded suspicious to me.

So last night, the police found him walking outside of a Kmart over 100 miles away.  Just...doody...doody...do.  I'm walking.  When the police rolled up on him he told them that he "wanted to escape to some place warm."

And I fell the hell out laughing.  I swear I did.  Dude just got up and rolled out.  He probably planned his escape forever ago.  Probably had cash stashed somewhere that he was trying to get to and was seriously just going to get ghost.  Poor baby.  Him wanted to run away.

I bet a lot of people feel that way from time-to-time so well...I guess you can't blame him 100% because you understand but dude...REALLY?  YOU RAN AWAY?  JUST LEAVE HELL!  TELL ERRYBODY YOU'RE DONE!  LEAVE!  ASSUME THE COMPLICATIONS ASSOCIATED WITH YOUR LEAVING YOUR FAMILY!  DON'T BRING THE POLICE IN ON THIS HELL!  

Your people all on the news.  Mounting up searching for you and whatnot.  Why put people through all of that.  Be a man!  Use your words!  Don't run away!  LOL!

I swear I laughed myself silly behind this dude.  Bless his poor little heart.

Tell the truth and shame the devil...have YOU ever thought about running away?  Did you go so far as to think about how you'd do it only to show your behind right back up at home and deal with life as is?  

As an adult...have you ever wanted to RUN.AWAY?

Dating Scenario

You meet a guy.

Over the course of several months, you date pretty regularly.

Nice dates.  

Nice restaurants.

Nice events.

Nice.

He's always respectful, is a great conversationalist, is smart, fun and funny.

You like him.

After about the 9th date...you are feeling some kinda way because he hasn't kissed you yet.

Sure...he hugs you and kisses you on the cheek...but no real kiss.

He holds your hand, has no problem with and seems to enjoy being close to you...but yeah...no kiss.

You've decided that maybe he's just being respectful, which impresses you.

Next date...YOU kiss HIM.

It's nice.

But then...he calls less and you look up and realize you haven't seen him in a month of Sundays.

You good?

Thoughts?

What would you do?

Dear You:

I know life can get hard and you can get down on yourself from time to time.  You're not alone there as we all do it.  Some of us have been kicked around so much that we expect it and others know it's not ever going to be something they simply accept so they fight to push through the pain, the situation, the circumstances.  You can't change things without action.  You have to DO something.  The solution is never going to just show up at your front door and put itself in place.  

YOU KNOW THIS.

You can either remain stagnant where you are now or you can jump into action and make the things happen that you want to happen.  Step by step...little by little...you can get there.

I BELIEVE IN YOU.

If you need encouragement...I'll be here for you but I can't do it for you.  If I did...it only proves that I wanted it for you more than you wanted it for yourself and we both know that's not the case.  Stop shitting on yourself.  You got this.  You can do anything.

It doesn't matter where you start...as long as you're a finisher.

Go get what you want.

Love,

Monnie

Scenario From Real Life

You love love.  

You have a male friend from college who has been divorced for 6 years.

He's been dating a lovely woman for 2 years whom you adore and yall visit with at least twice a year.

You and your friends from college are all together for Homecoming.

You're the only one married and...thankfully...you're happily married.

Late into the night yall are in the lobby of a hotel talking and having a good time.

The subject of relationships come up and everyone has some pretty bleak tales of love lost.  

You don't really say much and just listen.

Your male friend starts talking about his lady in a positive light and the group of friends collectively tell him to not get married again because they are sure he's set in his ways after 6 years and that he shouldn't put himself through that again and remember how bad the divorce was, yada, yada...

You know he really loves his lady friend because yall talk and visit.

Do you say anything?

Do you risk the wrath of the collective group who believe that marriage is a thing of the past?

Are We All Undercover Racists?

Insults!

On Saturday I got really, really pissed off.  Like...angrier than I've been in a long, long time.  See...I try and be kinder and gentler and not let SIP out as much these days.  Growth and all that.

Let me paint the picture for you...

I was told that I could park somewhere while I got my volunteering on.  Several hours later I returned to my truck and it was fine.  Several hours later...I returned to my truck and...still fine.  Few hours later and I'm ready to roll out...and a car had blocked me in.

Someone went to go see what the what as I waited patiently thinking the person who blocked the cars in was just running in and out somewhere quickly.  When it became apparent that wasn't the case, I got out of my truck and followed the direction of the people who went to go see what was what.

I walked in on an argument and the person whose car was blocking the cars of the volunteers was saying that we needed to pay him to move his car.

Um...now say what now?

I didn't address the owner of the car...I addressed the person who was attempting to handle the situation.  I said...I'm not paying him anything...call the police.  He's impeding my movement and I consider it a form of kidnapping.  Call the police and let the police sort it all out.  Simple.  He doesn't own that area, you were told we could all park there.  I'm not about to be extorted by this dude.

So the dude in question was all super arrogant and whatnot.  The kind of person who has gotten over before and plans to do it again because he normally does this with good church folk who don't want no trouble.

Hi...I'm SIP...I don't mind trouble.  CALL THE POLICE!

So...I noticed that he got a bit nervous when cameras started snapping and folks started pulling out their phone to call the police as I'm continuing to tell folks to call the police.  (I'd left my phone in my truck.)  I head back to my truck to get my phone and he comes out with the other people and moves his car.  I am FURIOUS at this dude and I say a few choice words without cursing to him once I'd moved my truck.  He felt that it could probably escalate so he didn't say anything until AFTER I'd walked away.  Because of the company I was keeping...I stopped talking.

But BAAAAAAAAABY...the things I was thinking?  NO.CUT.

Now...it should be noted that I don't have a problem with many folks.  Just ignorant mofos.  I don't really care what you're doing with your life, who you are, etc. as long as you aren't messing with me or mine.  I just stay away from you and don't give two figs about what you have going on.  Ignant ish however?  I have a problem with.

I thought some really horrible things about the guy, who was dressed in traditional Muslim headgear.  You can imagine as you've probably heard these things before.  I didn't feel bad about my thoughts either...I was just furious with an ignant mofo who was coming at me all wrong.  I didn't know anything about him other than, at that moment, I wished the ground would open up and swallow his ignant azz up or that I could have yanked him out of his car and slapped him silly.

Now...during some quiet reflecting, I started thinking about insults and how not many of us have problems slinging them or thinking them when we feel insulted.  These insults...does it mean we have a problem with ALL people who share the trait, characteristic or similarity we used as an insult?

Hmmmmmmmmmm...

And I thought about the firemen fighting last week.  The fireman who called the other one an offensive slur...did it mean he hated all Black people...or...could it mean that he just REALLY not like that one Black person in particular and wanted to insult him to his core just to let him know exactly how much he couldn't stand his azz? 

I mean...I don't have a problem with Muslims.  Period.  I believe everyone should be allowed to practice their religion because I'll be damned if someone is going to  tell me that I can't practice my religion my way.  I certainly don't think all people who are obviously not FROM here are illegal and I don't think all people from the Middle East are terrorists.  Not even in the slightest.  Dare I be all cliche' as hell here and say that some of my FAVORITE people are Muslim because well...it's true.  Very true.  

But it made me think about what we do, think and say when we are mad as hell at one particular person.  It made me wonder about insults and what it means that we have them so readily available in our verbal arsenal...

So...I ask you, In 2014...can we insult people who have HIGHLY offended us using slurs without said slur being a blanket statement across the board?  Do YOU think offensive insults that you'd never say out loud?  Do you think it means you're a little bit racist?  Have you ever thought about this?