$25 Engagement Rings and Things

When you're trying to be careful using mobile data while out of the country, you tend to miss a lot that goes on because you're not on social media as much as you are when you are NOT roaming.  I have a few friends whose pages I go immediately to in order to catch up on what went down while I was offline.  I was over on Tiger Bush's page when I read something about a $25 engagement ring.

I re-read that.

Oh...I didn't read it wrong.

Not a $250 or a $2,500 or a $25,000 engagement ring...but a $25 one.

WHERE THEY DO THAT 'ET?

So I asked Mr. Google about it.

Oh.

And I read the comments all up and down-t the internet.

Oh.

I guess.

But my two cents is that...we all know that everybody's paper "don't spend" the same. 

What is wrong with having expectations for the best of everything and wanting a good life? Why we can't want it all? It's not like we're going to go postal if we don't get it...but wanting it all Is okay, right? When folks keep the bar low attempting to manage their expectations...it only falls lower. $25 rings today. Woman buying her own ring and doing the proposing tomorrow.

SIP: Aren't they already doing that?

Me: Right.

I jokingly quote Robin Harris all the time when I say, "I want everythang I'm 'sposed to git." But I promise I mean it. I want it ALL. That is my expectation. If it doesn't happen, I won't die, as evidenced by my struggle with infertility, but damn if I don't want EVERYTHING ELSE. I want as big a life as my breathing can encompass and my wallet can handle. I want it ALL. Pretty stuff. Funny stuff. Jazzy stuff. Gray stuff. Bright pink stuff. Shiny stuff. Dull stuff. Denim, silk, pearls, diamonds, leather, canvas, need batteries, wired, books, notebooks, writing pens, pencils, movies, music, planes, trains, cars, jelly beans, almonds, chocolate, puppies, E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"I WANT EVERYTHANG I'M 'SPOSED TO GIT!"

Sneakers cost more than $25. You are not supposed to be keeping time with anybody who can't afford the basic necessities. What gives them the right to even think they CAN holla at you? Why don't they have any expectations for their own lives? Who is holding them accountable for being that damn deadbeat? NO.NO.ANDHELL.NO. There is a natural progression of life. If you missed a step...start over. If you are arrogant enough to not think you need to restart to get better at something...then enjoy your TV dinner on your tray alone. You ain't 'sposed to be married.

If my husband had acquired a ring and not have had to come up out his pocket...kudos to our soon joint bank account. This is the same as with a family heirloom. Grandmother's ring? Yes, please! But if said ring was only worth $25 Imma go with naw. And I certainly would never want a girl child I love to have an engagement ring bar lower than what she pays for one of Rhianna's lipsticks. And I also take into account age. First dates at 18 to McDonald's? Cool. At 28? You already know. What kinda man is cool with this? The cheapest video game cartridge seems to be $39.99. I love you, I am not accepting that ring. You are not placing appropriate value on our future as husband and wife. Two months salary is the industry standard so you can use that as a guideline.  If you live in an area like DC or NY where less than 6 figures is for real considered lower income, you can't do that because the cost of living is so much higher so save up.  Whatever you can realistically save for two months, maybe three?  Good.  Get a part-time gig, a hustle, something.  Save up.  A 10-year-old child can save up enough to buy his mommy a $25 ring for Christmas  off a $10 per week allowance .  Your grown behind should be able to save up too.

A $25 engagement ring.  

AS.

IF.

I want everythang I'm 'sposed to git. That should be EVERYONE'S mantra EVERYWHERE. STOP MAKING YOURSELF SMALL TO ACCOMMODATE SOMEONE'S TOO SMALL LIFE.

Broke Back

Two weeks before Thanksgiving, I was in a rush to complete some pieces for Small Business Saturday at my shop.  I was rocking and rolling and went to pick up a deceptively heavy piece of furniture.  Nothing I haven't done before, I just picked it up wrong.  I picked it up so that the drawers were away from me and they slid out, quickly, and pitched the forward.  I felt something "give" in my back and the pain started radiating immediately.  I couldn't pick up my right leg or stand up.  I slid to the ground and rolled over on my back with my knees bent and my feet on the ground.  It was the only way I could find any relief.

Actual pic of me on ground waiting on The Robinator.

The Robinator was in his office on a series of conference calls before he had to go to the office and, since my phone was in my pocket, I slipped it out and called him sounding really calm.

Robby:  Hello?  (sounding like...WHY YOU CALLING ME FROM OUTSIDE???????  YOU KNOW I'M BUSY!!!!!!!)

Me:  Heyyyyyy (sounding all casual like I'm just shooting the shit)...when you have an opportunity, can you come outside and help me with something?

Robby:  Yeah, okay, okay...in a minute.

So...I did what any red-blooded American with a smartphone in their hand would do.  I surfed Facebook until he showed up.  Snapped a few pics.  You know...the norm.  LOL!

He came out about 10 minutes later casually strolling.  When he saw me on the ground, his face registered mild confusion because hey...sometimes I just sit or lay on the ground...I'm country but when he got closer and I told him that I'd messed up and he saw the dresser on the ground near me haphazardly, he started moving faster.

I couldn't move.  The pain was getting worse.  He carried me upstairs because, I wasn't about to go to the doctor looking like I was looking, called the doctor and rushed me in.

Link Taylor piece that took me out.  Old super heavy, super well-made nightstand.  Humph.

Doctor determined it was a bad sprain.  Yall...I couldn't move my right leg without severe pain and screaming.  He suggested I get a steroid shot.  I declined.  He gave me some anti-inflammatory meds and muscle relaxers.  Silly me, I thought muscle relaxers were pain pills.

They aren't.

After waking everyone up screaming a few times in the middle of the night because I was trying to turn in my sleep, I called the next morning for pain meds.

I was told that my doctor doesn't prescribe pain meds.  To anyone.  Of any kind.

Wait, what?

This has been our doctor for 3 years now.  Neither of us have needed pain meds for anything.  But baaaaaaaaaby...if we need pain meds...DAMMIT...WE WANT PAIN MEDS.  So I did my thing I do when I'm trying to get what I want and or need.  After going around and around, turns out, the truth is that our doctor (ex-doctor cuz yeah...no) doesn't have a DEA license so he CAN'T prescribe pain meds.

Oh.

And this is how the opioid crisis ends up affecting us.  When we were in for real serious pain...we can't get pain meds. I was incensed.

Once I got some pain meds and was able to start stretching without that severe pain, I started moving better.  The worst part, however?  The drive to and from Houston for Thanksgiving at my sister's house.  SO TERRIBLE.  And the pain meds made me toss my cookies so I had to take half doses after eating two chewable Tums to coat my stomach first.  My body was so filled with foreign stuff I never take that I looked and felt completely different. 

When we returned home, I stopped taking everything to flush out my system even though my back still hurts. I can't deal with that hazy, super swole feeling and truly don't know how anyone can.  So I'm doing yoga, stretching and, to quote The Robinator, "sit your azz down somewhere and stop doing stuff!"

But see...that's hard for me.

The Robinator has not let me pick up anything heavier than my toothbrush.  He has been the most hilarious nursemaid the world has ever produced.  Let's me know what I'm in for as we grow old together.  *sigh*  Pure comedy. 

The whole, no DEA license thing was news to me and something I guess we all need to be aware of with our doctors.  People like us aren't trying to score drugs so to leave us in pain because a doctor CAN'T prescribe something to take us out of pain is just WRONG.

Humph.

Did yall know about the DEA license thing?  Would you use a doctor as your primary care doctor who didn't have one knowing that if you really hurt yourself he/she couldn't get you out of pain using pain meds?

Have you ever hurt your back?  What did you do to fix it?  Do you still have problems with it after you hurt it the first time?  Or did it completely go away?

Sweets from "In the Heat of the Night" and Lowes

The other day I was in Lowes and there were six police cars in the parking lot with a lot of activity.  I exited my truck cautiously in case something was popping off.  When I got to the first policeman, I asked if it was safe for me to go in and he told me that the issue was resolved and they were just getting video footage, etc.

Of course, I was curious as to what went down.

Turns out, a fugitive in the area was shopping in Lowes and the Chief of Police and his wife walked in and saw him.  When the Chief yelled out the fugitive's name, he took off running and jumped in his car.  The Chief grabbed onto the car and the fugitive drug him for a few before the Chief let go.  A customer who was leaving, saw what went down and followed the car calling the police and telling them where to find the suspect.  The Chief was okay save for being scraped up.

Quiet as it's kept, one of my and Robby's favorite television shows is "In the Heat of the Night."  There have been plenty of Sunday mornings when we have stumbled upon a marathon and been stuck like Chuck.  When I told Robby about what went down at Lowe's he was like...

Robby:  The Chief didn't have his gun on him? 

Me:  Probably not.   He was with his wife.

Robby:  You don't think Chief Gillepsie would have his gun on him if he was with Harriet?

Me:  Hell no!  Harriet was a lady.  She would have made him leave his gun at HIS house.

Robby:  I bet the Chief still kept a gun strapped to his ankle or something.

And then we fell down the rabbit hole of our favorite episodes, etc.

Something we both always laughed about was how the Chief would always send Sweet down to the bottom to spy on someone.  I mean really.  Like nobody in the bottoms knew that Sweet was on the police force.  But he'd trot on down there and his disguise would be a baseball hat.  I'd be down in the bottoms talking about..."HEY SWEET!  WE SEE YOU!  YALL SEE THAT'S SWEET RIGHT?  RIGHT!"  Just crazy.  I can't believe they put Sweet in danger like that.  

Speaking of Lowes.  I had to go back there again today and went to use the restroom.  I had to go badly so I grabbed the first stall.  As I'm in there, I realize that someone was in the stall next to me talking to a man on speakerphone.  

ON.SPEAKERPHONE.

I was so annoyed.

As I was washing my hands, she came out.  Young girl.  I looked at her and was like..."Are you serious!  You work here????????????"

I asked her if she thought it was appropriate to use the speakerphone while other people were in the bathroom taking care of private business in the restroom.  I told her that it was highly inappropriate, especially at her place of employment.  The sound of everyone taking care of their business and flushing the toilets was just...EW!  SERIOUSLY????????  I couldn't fix my face to save my life.  I was SO.DAMN. ANNOYED.

I found an older lady that I'd exchanged friendly words with before and told her she should pull the young lady aside and let her know that her behavior was highly inappropriate and that, had I decided to tell a manager, she'd probably be in big trouble.

I am still annoyed.  Big time.

Would that annoy you? Or are we at a point in life where being annoyed with that is being a prude?  

Lazy People

I don't like lazy people.  I don't UNDERSTAND lazy people.  Sitting on your azz being useless. Taking up space.  BREATHING in and out.  Witcha lazy azz.

Let's not get this confused with BEING lazy.  See...I can choose to be lazy tomorrow because I know I have been busy getting stuff done.  So I can choose to be a bit lazy.

My house is clean but if something fell over and made a big mess...I'd get up and clean it up.  I wouldn't sit there and look at it.  I wouldn't step over it all day.  I wouldn't leave it there for days on end.

Cuz that's lazy.

Say you're young and single and in a job where there is no advancement potential and you are barely making a living wage.  You're single.  No kids.  At the end of paying your bills you have no money left.  You have nothing but time on your sofa watching television until it's time to go to work the next day.

You're lazy.

If you're not thinking of ways you can increase the money you are bringing in, you're lazy.  If you're not trying to figure out a side hustle...you're lazy.  If you're not signing up for some more schooling to increase your job pool...you're lazy.  

If you are settling for what life hands you...you're lazy.

If your house is nasty...you're lazy.

If the outside of your house looks a mess...you're lazy.

If your car's interior is disgusting...you're lazy.

If you have lightbulbs in your home but you have a lightbulb out in a lamp in a room you frequently use...you're lazy.

If you handle your business and have a comfortable life because you work hard and today you want to put up your feet and do nothing all day?  You're BEING lazy.

Be lazy.

If you're lazy and you know it...clap your hands.

59

We always share the memes to pray for _________.

We always hold our breath in anticipation of what the murderer looked like.

We always speculate why the murderer did what he did.

We always think it was a terrorist attack until we see what the murderer looked like and, if it wasn't a radical Muslim...we use other descriptors.

We never seem to understand that anyone inflicting terror by mass murder is a terrorist.

We never understand that homegrown terrorism is real.

We always hold private and public vigils.

We always try to stay away from the details not wanting to put a face to the poor people murdered.

We always blame failed security.

We always look for accomplices.

We always commiserate with strangers we encounter throughout the day.

We are always grateful it wasn't our loved one murdered down.

We always hug our loved ones tighter.

We are always astonished at the lack of respect for human life.

We are always shocked at how easy it was.

We always ask the family why.

We always become over saturated with the news reports regarding.

We always worry about the wrong shit.

WE NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT GUN CONTROL.

And we probably never will.

Until next time...pray for the victims.  

Until next time...don't let terrorists win.  I know it's hard to do when the terrorists are already within our borders.  When the terrorists are American.

Call it what it is.