Family

"Everybody's Money Don't Spend the Same" - #GuestsDontPay

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Stop charging me to attend your celebrations — #guestsdontpay

I discussed this article with some friends earlier today.  One friend shared it with our group outraged because baaaaaaaaaby...this article is a mess.

It made me instantly feel some kinda way when I read it.  See, I know that...in the words of one of my Elders, "Everybody's money don't spend the same."  This means that you will probably have people in your life who you love who have more or less financial obligations, savings, liquidity than you do.  Because of this...I have always been the type of person who had no problem with throwing a party at my home so there was no financial obligation present for us all to enjoy spending time together.  

See...people are weak.  If you are invited to a dinner you know you can't afford to pay for, have the guts to send your regrets.  Simple.  You are not obligated to attend.  Your obligation should always be to how your money spends and nobody knows this better than YOU.  You can miss out on some shit.  Check Facebook or Instagram later.  Somebody will have posted some pictures and you'll feel like you were there.  Okay...that's bullshit...but still...use your damn words.  Be a grownup. It is very easy to say, I can't make it.  You don't have to give a reason why.  If the person is truly someone who loves you, however, I'd suggest letting them know that the reason you can't attend is because a night out isn't in your budget and I bet you, 9 times out of 10, they will figure out a way for you to join them to celebrate somehow.  Be it drinks after work soon or just lunch or dinner at the crib.

People who love you want to spend time with you.  Don't make it about money.  Say you can't go, but figure out something you CAN do together soon.

Stuff your pride and the ridiculous arrogance of this article in a hole out back somewhere.  Seriously.  Adult better.  Whine less.  Everything ain't 'boutchu.  Stop acting like it is.  Being a victim is sooooooooooooooo pre-Obama.

Love,

Monnie

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"Compound" - Completed Book Available on Amazon!!!!!

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Compound follows five strangers as they are each given a deed to a luxury beach home, a title to a new car and a cashier’s check for one million dollars with promises of more to come.Golden hasn’t had the best life, yet is as loving and trusting as …

Compound follows five strangers as they are each given a deed to a luxury beach home, a title to a new car and a cashier’s check for one million dollars with promises of more to come.

Golden hasn’t had the best life, yet is as loving and trusting as a puppy. She’s unemployed and tanking financially while waiting for her fiancé to return and help save her family home from foreclosure, marry her and start a family. When she’s contacted by the lawyer representing an anonymous benefactor, she attributes the windfall to the grace of God. When the lawyer also informs her that her fiancé is living with another woman and has a baby on the way, the blow knocks her sideways.

Golden warms up slowly to her neighbors at The Pointe, the luxury beach community where her new vacation home is located. They start working out together, sharing intimate secrets, having regular dinners and forming close bonds that celebrate each other and their differences. The enjoyment of their beach summer is rocked by one explosive, climactic event leaving someone dead, many confused and all conflicted once they discover the reason they have been brought together. 

We’ve all been hurt a multitude of times and most things too good to be true generally are, but what if they are given in secret to right past wrongs? What if the worst of your life was evaluated and payment was made to soften all those blows? But payment from whom? For what ills? And what consequences does accepting payment bring?

So, the book, "Compound," that's been in my brain for so long is now complete and available on Amazon!  I hope you read it and enjoy it!  I've been getting some great feedback from readers and it makes me laugh knowing how much they are connecting to the characters.  LOL!  I'm like...BE NICE TO GOLDEN, SHE'S BEEN THROUGH A LOT!!!!  LOLOLOLOL!  

If you read it, please give it a review!  Oh...and yes...part two is in the making!  WHOOOOOHOOOOO!

 

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"Don't Put Me On that Blog"

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Elder and I

Elder and I

Early on when I started blogging, I got into an argument with a family member about "being on the blog."  See...they always worried about their business being put out there.  You know...cuz they have SOOOOOOOO much interesting business. (Note sarcasm.)  So...I stopped talking about their azzes.  You'd swear I grew from weeds in a forest how much I DON'T say about my family on my blog cuz hey...I might be a bad azz in my head but we all know that I don't want no trouble when it comes to my family.  We fight dirty with each other at times even if we'd be the first people right there when we need each other.

Now it doesn't mean that they don't read the blog because I was shocked to find out how many do...and I still find that interesting seeing as though many of them think the internet is for email only.

Dealing with family every single day is a major part of who we all are.  Especially me.  I mean...I love my people.  I love where I come from.  I love the total complex mix-mash of practically everything good and bad that we are.  We are straight up 'bout THAT GUMBO LIFE.

But I don't talk about them on the blog.  LOL!

A couple of years ago, one of my cousins asked me why I don't ever put them on the blog.  I told them that it was easier to not write about them than to figure out who had a problem with it and therefore I don't have to wonder who is walking around mad about what the hell ever.  I mean...I put a picture up once of a relative that I thought was beautiful.  She got mad because I didn't crop out a basket of laundry she was folding while watching television.  Said it made her living room look junky.  It wasn't mind you...I mean...she was simply folding clothes but hey...her perception of how she wants to be seen should be up to her.  I took the picture down and apologized.  No biggie.  

I said all that to say that I hardly ever talk about my family on my blog but I'm going to today.  I want to talk about my Uncle, my father's youngest brother.  Why?  Because he's nothing short of amazing to me.  I've been getting to know him more adult-to-adult and he's a pretty great Elder.  He brings me joy because he's kinda like me.  He's taken the best of who are and made it work for him.  Our family's love of outdoors, good food, music, laughter, etc.  He loves good wine and good people.  He straight up LIVES life to the fullest.  

And it shows.

This past weekend, he went to a big salsa dancing event with his lady friend and then the next morning they got up and did a breast cancer awareness walk on three hours of sleep.  Throughout both events he sent me pictures, which is a good thing, because even though he joined Facebook a couple of months ago...he's real lax on uploading pictures.  LOL!  And hell...I like to see pictures because it makes me smile.

Unc looks exactly like my father...which isn't surprising because we all look alike.  But he looks like him so much so that it's hard to look at him sometimes and not get gripped by the shadows of whys.  When he hugs me, he hugs me tight.  And then...he just lingers there with a hand on my arm or across my shoulders.  He's easy with his praise and he is quick to express his pride in you.  He is good at seeing you exactly as you are.  He's a talented architect and wants to help me plan our next house.  He understands that I don't ask for help with anything and why.  And this is why he has no problem offering. "Why would you pay all that to someone else when your Unc can help you?"

Good point.  We'll see.  It's hard for me.  You know why.  Thanks for understanding.

I'm really proud of my Uncle and I love how I feel when I'm around him.  He makes me laugh out loud often and I enjoy interacting with him and this is why I put him on my blog.  LOL!

Slowly but surely my Elders are joining Facebook and posting pictures and whatnot and I'm enjoying seeing sides of them they don't necessarily show us "kids."  I love looking at the old pictures they post from when they were younger because I don't really get to see those since I've lived away from everyone for a very long time and pack in what I can when I visit.  I love how the pictures trigger stories I haven't heard and how they introduce me to other family members I don't know...but know...you know?

Yeah...you know.

So...your Elders.  Any of the cool ones on Facebook?  Are they bringing you joy?  

Those of you who blog...what's your family's take on being "on the blog?"