Can Cookie put me on?
Live Blogging #BeingMaryJane
I'm live blogging tonight's episode.
WARNING...I didn't watch the last few episodes of season 1 because well...I just don't LIKE Mary Jane. Not the show...but the character. So...I watched the first episode of season 2 because my girls did and the entire time my face was completely screwed up. I.DON'T.LIKE.THAT.CHICK! Why she always messing with somebody else's man hell? Trifling shit is NOT.COOL!
And his stankin azz. UGH! I can't stand his stankin azz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So...you've been warned. I don't like Mary Jane but I'm watching and live blogging.
It will prolly be horrible. My commentary that is. Not the show.
I love that they show her with her hair tied up.
Um...why is David looking shirtlessly gorgeous in the kitchen cooking breakfast? Is she dreaming? She's prolly dreaming. I hope she's dreaming. Why is all that ish on her counters? How does she have room to cook? That view though...YES!
Oops...BABY! hey Andre!
Yeah...dreaming.
And her damn hair isn't wrapped. I guess you can do that with weave.
Wait...she pissed in the bed again? Girl you need Depends.
Niecy gotta go. But her makeup is FLAW.LESS! GO NIECY!
Lemme tell yall 'bout this wine I'm partaking...DE.LI.COUS. I don't even know the name. Bought it at Whole Foods.
Yup...call Niecy's daddy. Not like he can do anything though. Doesn't he live with his mama 'nem too? When my siblings ignore my texts...I get RAW. Ask them. LOL! I WILL NOT BE IGNORED DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now...she wouldn't have burnt up my pot. But none of my pots look brand new either.
I COOKS!
Okay...so her borther doesn't live with his parents? Send his azz back to their parents and put Niecy and them chirren up at his apartment. SOLUTION!
Mary Jane only has empathy for her own people it seems. And not really even then.
So this baby is a prostitute? *sigh* I hate that.
I have two of those bracelets Mary Jane has on. Well, one. One went missing.
I don't understand why those babies don't call somebody either. But hey...
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
The Game still comes on? Well alright now.
I hate the name Chardonnay. AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
COMMERCIAL'S DONE.
Can we talk about weave for like two seconds? Her weave is nice. I've never really seen her with a bad weave. How much does a weave like that cost?
Love that she is working with girls.
THAT'S RACIST!
She's going meet Polly at the Pancake House. That's IHop for the rest of us.
I feel her about those girls. Teenage girls are evil. Me not a fan. I'd rather they be 0 - 10 or 22 and up.
I have that Halo dress the producer chick is rocking.
Folks still pretending to not be gay need to stop hell. I mean really. Be you and let the chips fall as they may.
Did I tell you about this wine yet that I don't know the name of????? DELICIOUS! And I still can't find the name of it. Yall don't believe me I know but just ait until I show you the pic. No name.
So what does he do with the boyfriend when mommy and daddy come-a-calling? Does he stay in the back? I guess so huh? Wait...is he outside? Maaaaaaaaan screw that...wouldn't be me gay and locked out. I'd be the gayest of gay!
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
Did anybody see that movie "Addicted?" How was it? I think I might download it to watch on the plane just because Boris is one of my in-my-head boyfriends. Don't tell The Robinator. I saw him in person on the sidewalk in DC once and he was GORGEOUS! Years later I met him in real life and I swear fo' goodness I couldn't keep up talking to him. My thoughts and my conversation didn't go together so I just blubbered. Crazy I know. Him pretty.
Them chirren don't need to go see the new JLo movie. That movie is NOT for chirren.
I need to wear that dress again soon. I'd like to be fly too.
Drinking on the job is funny.
In my next house Imma get a sectional. Super deep. Not loose pillow back though. I hate loose pillow back. His mother is about to shut this down. LOL!
S. Epatha is not about this lying life Mark!
We should start hearing Mark's heartbeat in 5...4...3...
Why do they need to open another bottle? They haven't finished the wine in the glasses they have now. I don't believe in wasting wine.
MARK...YOU'RE GAY HELL! JUST TELL 'EM HELL! Your mama is being real with you!
LORD.JESUS THE SATELLITE JUST WENT OUT! GOT.DAMMIT!
Aw lawd...the Black father and his gay son talk. o_0
Let it go Stan...gay people exist. Oh...wait...he's mad about him lying (literally up your azz) and he should be. Stop all that lying hell. Mark cute though. Freckles look good on him.
Mary Jane...shut up.
Daddy hurt. But he's a homophobe. But he's his father. Lawd...I'm so confused. I need water. My brain is squozen dry. All this fussing while everyone sitting down though is refreshing. In my family...that table woulda been flipped by now.
Speaking of family...Robby says I have a package at my house from my Uncle filled with pictures. CAN'T.WAIT.TO.GET.HOME!
She seeing David everywhere now huh? He's haunting her? Funny.
Hey Polly!
I don't understand why Polly doesn't call her people.
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
So...people get drunk at work with red cups? *BLINK*
I'm 'bout to hit her with a #GirlBye too.
Remember when people were saying that the lines on red cups meant something? http://www.snopes.com/food/prepare/solocups.asp
That dude looks weird. Like he'd wear her skin as a bathrobe or some ish.
If any of yall getting lit up at work and you don't work in marketing for an alcohol company...Imma fight yall. For real though.
I'm mad she doesn't date her people intentionally. I mean...that's just RACIST!
This baby Polly makes me sad.
Again...the weave. How much does that cost???????????? Imma get me some weave and give my hair a rest. I worry if I could have my hair all braided up though. Yall know I have issues.
Polly: SHOW ME THE MONEY!!!!!!!!!
Um...Mary Jane...leave them people be. You 'bout to get shot up. Polly needs to call her people. You gotta take care of Niecy 'nem.
#Choices
COMMERCIAL BREAK.
That poor baby is cute.
I knew Eric/Erik was going to bail. Ain't nobody got time for that.
So is he gonna be a used-to-be-gay?
So drinking at work is a thing now? I might still be in corporate America if that was the case back in the day. LOL!
MJ's makeup is so nice now. I've been playing around with makeup these days. I think Imma go buy a bunch of lip colors this weekend. Or, at least, order them. I have one of those Nordstrom kits with all the colors for eyes, blush and lips but I hardly ever use it. I've been doing a bit better with it though.
See? Me cute. I made it my FB profile pic. And Tweeter. Hell...I might print it out and walk around with it taped to my forehead cuz we ALL KNOW I can't keep that up daily. Hell...my look now? Nothing cute about it 'cept my pajamas. They have sock monkeys on them. GO ME!!!!!
Well...maybe I picked the wrong one to live blog. LOL! She wasn't super dooper trifling this episode. Need more of this please!
What did YOU think?
Size 22 Model
I overheard a conversation yesterday about the Sports Illustrated first plus sized model. They said she was a size 22. I just asked Mr. Google about it and turns out they were wrong. The plus sized model in Sports Illustrated is NOT a size 22...it's this chick:
Her name is Robin Lawley and she's a regular size 10 person so yeah...I'm confused that she is considered "plus size."
o_0
I think they were talking about this model, Tess Holiday who is the first sized 22 model to sign with a major agency.
I kept listening to the conversation unchecked and overheard a guy say that whenever an anorexic model is shown, people lose their shit so why should it be any different with a size 22 model since they both have unhealthy bodies.
I didn't join in on the conversation so I didn't say anything but I've been thinking about what he said. I just had the conversation with someone and they had some interesting things to say too.
What do YOU think? Overweight people can be perfectly healthy right? But anorexic people never are. Are all versions of what folks consider extreme as it relates to weight...unhealthy?
Overweight people exist so why shouldn't there be models to represent them in the fashion world? We all wear clothes right?
THOUGHTS?????
Scandal: Where's the Black Lady
“Girl...yo daddy told you!!!!!!!!!”
I missed "Scandal" last night because I was out having BIG, BIG FUN so I'm currently sitting on the sofa watching it. I missed watching it with my absolute FAVORITE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD though.
Secret Service just burst in talking some Vice President said this and that so we're going to "support" you. Basically letting him know that private eyes are watching you...watching your every move....oh baby private eyes...watching you...watching your every move...
Lawd...poor Fitz looks bad. He's in with his whipping boy AKA Melly. You know whenever he's dealing with something he takes it out on her. Oh shit...she dimed herself out about sleeping with the VP. These people a mess! They are trying to be like the Underwoods. There is only one Frank and Claire baby and they'll be BACK FEBRUARY TWENTY SEVENTH!!!!!!!!
Andrew has a good head of hair. Warmongers generally do.
Olivia's hair is authentic. Big hair, don't care.
Her nails still on point though.
Now Fitz...Imma need you to take that jump drive to Huck mmmkay? Them White House people are NOT on your side. Just tip on down to Cyrus' office and tell him to give it to Huck. Huck will tear ish up looking for Olivia.
I used to love Portia...HUCK GOT HER AZZ! YES! YES! YES! HE'S IN THERE WITH YOUR KID! GIRL YOU BETTER KNOW LIKE ME AND TELL HUCK WHAT HUCK NEEDS TO KNOW LE STAT! HE WILL LICK YOUR FACE AND SLICE YOUR TEETH OUT!
Oh...VP Good Hair straight rouge. Yall don't know any better.
Hey Tom!
Oh...Tom went straight crazy in solitary huh?
You can't trust anyone in the White House Fitz.
Olivia's house ain't safe hell. That's where they snatched her. Okay...thumb drive to Jake. Olivia's luhvah's are on it. Jake took where it needed to be taken. That glass is a sign right?
REFLECTION IN GLASS!!!!!! GET IT OLIVIA! GET.IT.OLIVIA! Okay...whatever Huck just said...do that. YES!
"President or not he's just a man." Well...and then there's that.
I hope Olivia Papa Pope's old dude's azz when Huck gets her out cuz Huck going get Olivia. I feel it in my fingers...I feel it in my toes...Christmas is all around us...wait...sorry...moving on...
WHERE'S THE BLACK LADY?
Did Quinn just call Ms. Rose, Rose? GIRL...YOU'D BETTER HANG A HANDLE ON THAT BEFORE SHE SMACKS YOU WITH THAT BAG!
This VP dude has GOT.TO.GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
UM...CYRUS? Wait...Cyrus has those good instincts and now he has Red thinking. But wait...why break the mug though?
Well...Huck going skin Portia alive most likely.
OH SHIT! THAT WAS CREEPY!
He brought the tool box. Don't hurt the child Huck. That isn't the answer. I don't like that. But you can snatch Porsha's teeth. Not a problem.
TELL MELLY DUDE!!!!! Melly can get to Andrew.
I hate when he talks about Olivia to his wife. Stankin' azz.
VP Good Hair is going down-t. All the men have a good head of hair though.
I think Melly is our wild card here. I think Melly can stab her.
FLORENCE BROUGHT THE TIP THEY NEEDED! YES!
Ooooh! Yjr omyrtmry eo;; yto[ upi i[ rbrtu/domh;r/yo,r/
Oops...fingers were on wrong keys. ROFL! I meant...Oooooooh! The internet will trip you up every.single.time!!!!!
HUCK! GO GET OLIVIA!
Figure out some kinda way to tell Cyrus. But he thinks he can't trust Cyrus either since he's in the White House right?
Papa Pope needs to come home hell. Or Mama Pope. Any of them Popes. Know how we have one cousin who straight WrecksItRalph? All her cousins prolly bad azz. They prolly hold their family reunion in a boxing gym. Instead of slinging bones they do mixed martial arts competitions from Granny on...
HOLY SHIT HUCK! He stripped her azz raw! Sheesh!
Melly = Wild Card. Watch and see. In their twisted way...they all love each other for real.
So Cyrus finally read the file huh?
Olivia...ask for one of those Dickie's jumpsuits. I've always wanted one. Flannel lined. I don't know why. Odd I know.
Olivia is playing this dude Olivia style. She's killed once and now she's dangerous. I just hope she remembers to keep holding the gun after she kills next time cuz really...this kidnapping could have been over by now had she saved that gun and wet his chest. (I love talking thugish. ROFL!)
MELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Told yall Melly was the Wild Card! Well...yall knew that already. I'm the one watching late. I hate yall for watching without me. Yall are NOT my friends anymore.
Til next week. GO.ME!
Jake go get your woman! Well...yall woman. JAKE DEA! YES!
But she's not there. She was too damn smart for her own good. Had she stayed there instead of getting in old boy's head...Jake could have been carrying her out by now and we could all be swooning. About Jake. From State Farm.
Auctioning the Black lady.
But I just had a thought...what if Papa Pope is behind the VP Good Hair?????? Yall know Roman likes to be the puppet master. Hmmmmmmmm!
Thoughts?
Walmart's Free Shipping Over $50
It's no secret that I am not a fan of going to Walmart. I don't like it I don't like it I don't like it!
Being in a small town...you can't really get away from Walmart. *sigh*
So I make The Robinator go with me.
The other day we were in Walmart and a man was in there with a parrot on his shoulder feeding the parrot a cookie. When he passed us by I continued looking and noted that the parrot was taking a crap on his back. And it wasn't the first time according to the dried stains.
JOY.
In Walmart.
So yeah...I don't wanna go back.
I came home and asked Mr. Google about the Rice Thins crackers that I like to buy at Walmart to have with cheese and the Amazon price was almost $4 a box. Well...I pay $2.50 a box at Walmart so I wasn't about to pay $1.50 more and then I looked at the search results. The same crackers were at Walmart.com for $1.98 a box.
Um...
So I tipped over there and found that there is free shipping on any orders over $50. Then...I looked at the running list I keep on the fridge and I sat right there and ordered everything I'd need from Walmart and it will be delivered here FOR.FREE.SHIPPING.
I can live with this.
I'm not going back there.