Work. Sex. Work. Sex.

Did you hear about the one where Weinstein finished off in a plant?  Dude...A PLANT.  

There was a lot of sick ish in these stories.

I've always had a good relationship with men.  I never really thought about it to figure out why...I just did. I grew up with 3 brothers and I was/am a tomboy so I've never had a problem communicating with them.

I've always had male friends and I mean friends for real and not a situation where someone was waiting on a romantic overture from the other.   Because of this, I've always been aware of "dude" language and, more importantly, "dude" body language.

I've never had a problem with being sexually harassed at work even though I've been tested.  

There was the time when a dude, much higher up the food chain, said he'd never been with a Black woman before but that he'd like to.  I looked him in the eye and said, "Well good luck with that."  We never spoke of it again.  There was the time when a colleague came a little too close to me in a copy room when he had a lot of room to move around.  He had a stupid grin on his face and I said, "Keep playing, here?" as only a Black woman with a crazy daddy could.

Cuz we all know that is a question that's not really a question.  It's more of a warning.

There was the time a client asked me if I wanted to grab a nightcap with him and I pretended I didn't hear him and there was the time the big boss told me to come up to his hotel room, on a work trip, with a stack of files and I gave them to the concierge to deliver them.  Just didn't feel right, you know?  Room, bed, man, woman...I'm good down here.

I've been around guys at work where they said some pretty inappropriate stuff but I never saw it as a big deal since I knew that guys were pigs and well...I can hold my own in a dozens conversation and I also know how to completely and unequivocally shut shit down.

All of this sexual harassment talk in the news has put the conversation on the highest volume possible and we can't do anything but listen and read.  And man...some of the stuff sounds super crazy.  Makes you wonder, did Weinstein start off by trying to sidle up and touch a co-worker in the copy room?  Did he just keep doing small things like that until he was in charge and able to press harder?  Or, did he not come in contact with someone who said to him, "Keep playing, here?" so he thought it was perfectly fine to get bolder and bolder?  Makes you wonder if I should have considered those encounters sexual harassment and reported them. 

Hmmmmmmm...

What if I was 23 and hadn't had a lot of male friends so I was able to peep game and my boss asked me if I wanted a massage?  Would I have let him massage my shoulders? My very powerful boss who could pave the way for me to do anything I wanted to do?  What if I let him and then he was at second base?  What next?  

And how would it feel to believe you had no options other than to deal with whatever dude dealt you?

What do YOU consider sexual harassment and have you ever encountered some version of it and not reported it?  If you shut it down...does it mean it didn't happen?  Are we enabling men's bad behavior and emboldening them by not taking the proper channels to report them?

That Gumbo Life Shop

I hung a headboard on a wall today.  

Why, you ask?

I'm not taking any questions.  Just go with it.  It works.

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Lazy People

I don't like lazy people.  I don't UNDERSTAND lazy people.  Sitting on your azz being useless. Taking up space.  BREATHING in and out.  Witcha lazy azz.

Let's not get this confused with BEING lazy.  See...I can choose to be lazy tomorrow because I know I have been busy getting stuff done.  So I can choose to be a bit lazy.

My house is clean but if something fell over and made a big mess...I'd get up and clean it up.  I wouldn't sit there and look at it.  I wouldn't step over it all day.  I wouldn't leave it there for days on end.

Cuz that's lazy.

Say you're young and single and in a job where there is no advancement potential and you are barely making a living wage.  You're single.  No kids.  At the end of paying your bills you have no money left.  You have nothing but time on your sofa watching television until it's time to go to work the next day.

You're lazy.

If you're not thinking of ways you can increase the money you are bringing in, you're lazy.  If you're not trying to figure out a side hustle...you're lazy.  If you're not signing up for some more schooling to increase your job pool...you're lazy.  

If you are settling for what life hands you...you're lazy.

If your house is nasty...you're lazy.

If the outside of your house looks a mess...you're lazy.

If your car's interior is disgusting...you're lazy.

If you have lightbulbs in your home but you have a lightbulb out in a lamp in a room you frequently use...you're lazy.

If you handle your business and have a comfortable life because you work hard and today you want to put up your feet and do nothing all day?  You're BEING lazy.

Be lazy.

If you're lazy and you know it...clap your hands.

Mahogany Ornate Corner Hutch - Refinished

When I first saw this piece, the legs were busted off it and it was in a corner mad and uncomfortable.  

I love anything with curves and this one had 'em big time.  I drug it home, cleaned it up, repaired it, painted it and now I'm in true love with it.  I left the back of it in the original state so someone can tell it's mahogany and note how old and well-made it is.  

Females

STOP CALLING WOMEN FEMALES!  FOOLS!

Door Hall Tree DIY

This started with a solid wood door I bought for $5.  I put a shelf on it and built a storage box on the bottom.  Then I put a cushioned lid on the top of the storage box, painted it, added some hooks and a mirror.

Now? It's one of my favorite things.  

Black Knees and Elbows...NO!

When I'm refinishing furniture, I kneel and lean a lot.  You have to get in there deep if you're as thorough as I am since I refinish inside and outside for a completely clean slate.

I rounded the corner and saw my knees in a mirror and was like...um...that's not cute and was mad.about.it!

And yall know I have knee pads, right?  Right.

So I went old school on them and started using the loofahs I use on my face on my knees and elbows whenever I shaved my legs and armpits.  

Face Loofahs

I just gently rubbed them and probably within a month...I was back to normal.  There is no reason for your knees and elbows to be black as this is something so easy to fix.  And don't go crazy either or you're going to scratch yourself up and cause even more of a mess.  Just rub gently and it will work.  If you have a really bad problem, use lemons too.  That's what an Elder told me and well...she's normally right and has perfect skin.

I love those face loofahs for weekly exfoliating my face too.  Just put your face wash on and GENTLY rub your face with a wet one.  Make sure you rinse the disc well and let it dry all the way so it doesn't start growing fungus.

Marriage...What's it worth to you?

I hear a lot about unhappily married people.  And what I don't hear, I can read between the lines and make an educated guess about even though I know I'll never know for sure if my guess was correct or not.

A friend posted that meme on Facebook and I'm hoping the woman pictured told him no because there is nothing joyous in her face about this proposal at all.  This is a sign of even more misery to come.  See...being proposed to should bring about some happiness right?  And it looks like she is seriously contemplating some ish he did recently that makes her second guess her love for him and vice versa.

This reminds me of that video by Tyrese with Taraji in it where he did all kinds of miscreant nonsense he is apologizing to her for doing and only when she was packed up to leave him with their SCHOOL AGE child, did he fall to his knee and propose in a last ditch effort to keep her.  Proposing shouldn't be a last ditch effort.  It should be what you've been building towards as a couple.  It should have been clearly stated that both of you are interested in being married one day.  And both of you should have been acting like that's what you were working towards by respecting the relationship and each other.

If dude has ever, at any time, told you that he's not getting married, don't expect him to pop the question and make you officially his partner in life.  Don't think, for an instant that he will change no matter how much yall have been through.  He has already told you where he stands on marriage so if you want to get married...he might not be the one.

Now, of course, we've all heard of the couple where the man was adamant that he wasn't getting married but she gave him an ultimatum and he broke down and did it.  To that I say...um...really?  You're good with having to DEMAND he do what a man should WANT to do?  With the natural progression of being a mature adult?  Of being the man of your household?  

I know you probably imagine a wonderful loving life as a wife and his missing rib but do you really think that a man who doesn't respect the institution of marriage is going to change if you force him to marry you?

The look on old girl's face is saying a whole lot of how she feels in her heart.  She's not happy.  She's been hurt.  She doesn't want to embarrass him and she wishes it were the real, genuine deal she's dreamed about...but she knows she won't have the marriage she wants with this guy.

But she will probably say yes and be in a marriage in name only as the spirit of the union will be lost in his continued behavior.  The kind of man who never grows up and is simply a pubescent child in a man's body with all the nonsense that comes along with that.

Take your time, don't put up with any bullshit because once you do...the bullshit will keep coming since there were no severe repercussions the last time you were presented with the bullshit. 

You'd be much happier on your own living in peace of your own making.  I know lots of women who are happy, well traveled and loving life.  Life is the longest thing you'll do.  Don't let a fool make it miserable.

59

We always share the memes to pray for _________.

We always hold our breath in anticipation of what the murderer looked like.

We always speculate why the murderer did what he did.

We always think it was a terrorist attack until we see what the murderer looked like and, if it wasn't a radical Muslim...we use other descriptors.

We never seem to understand that anyone inflicting terror by mass murder is a terrorist.

We never understand that homegrown terrorism is real.

We always hold private and public vigils.

We always try to stay away from the details not wanting to put a face to the poor people murdered.

We always blame failed security.

We always look for accomplices.

We always commiserate with strangers we encounter throughout the day.

We are always grateful it wasn't our loved one murdered down.

We always hug our loved ones tighter.

We are always astonished at the lack of respect for human life.

We are always shocked at how easy it was.

We always ask the family why.

We always become over saturated with the news reports regarding.

We always worry about the wrong shit.

WE NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT GUN CONTROL.

And we probably never will.

Until next time...pray for the victims.  

Until next time...don't let terrorists win.  I know it's hard to do when the terrorists are already within our borders.  When the terrorists are American.

Call it what it is.

Hurricane Maria victims NEED OUR HELP!

I've been reading to see how we can help and this article has a lot of really great suggestions:   How You Can Help Hurricane Victims in Puerto Rico 

I mean...it's a shame how this has happened.  They really missed the boat on this one and the more you read, the angrier you get.  

Hurricane Maria pushes Puerto Rico's struggling hospitals to crisis point

By the numbers: More than half of Puerto Rico still without drinking water

One Day in the Life of Battered Puerto Rico

And the latest...

President Trump dedicates golf trophy to hurricane victims, Puerto Rico

I mean...there are seriously just NO.WORDS for this level of incompetence that is currently our government.  They aren't by the people nor for the people.  Just...no.

Oh well, share that link.  I pretty much have nothing to say nice.

Randoms...

I hate driving.  I love listening to audiobooks when I drive.

Robby just told me that there is a whole group of people who think Stevie Wonder is not blind.  I side eyed him and he just told me to look it up.  Stevie Wonder Is Not Blind: The Truthers' Case 

Oh.

I powerwashed the hell out of a house today using this new powerwasher that I now MUST.HAVE. PowerStroke 3100 PSI Pressure Washer with Subaru Electric Start Engine

I woke up this morning and was mad, mad, mad at what that dude our White House said about San Juan.  Dude...really?

I love this and need to buy another one:  Black Slap | Satin-Lined Cap   

I love having two guest bedrooms.  Now I don't have to fold clothes before guests come.  I just close the door to the room with the clothes!  GO ME!

To this day my favorite sound is The Robinator's laughter.

I'm so tired but I was determined to do a post! 

I don't like people who have a problem with gay people.  Makes my teeth itch.  Seriously...WHY ARE YOU WORRIED ABOUT GAY PEOPLE BEING GAY???????  GO.SAT.DOWN-T!

I want a robot clothes folder.

Goodnight.

Fry Daddy

We were at a framily's house after a fish fry when the conversation came up regarding how to dispose of grease.  I don't fry a lot so I wasn't very helpful with my suggestion but I have a PhD in Googling so I asked Mr. Google for the best way to handle.

According to Mr. Google, you pour it in an old jar or back into the container it came in, once cooled, and throw it away in the garbage can.  

I didn't know that.

You can also use an empty water bottle.

I do it yesterday and I felt like a grownup.  

Except for bacon grease.  NEVER throw away bacon grease.  Your scallops and so much more will thank you. Don't believe me?  See?  I just asked Mr. Google:  https://bacontoday.com/the-many-uses-of-bacon-grease/

That's how Iuse having information at my fingertips.  I am constantly asking questions Mr. Google answers.  And man...if you saw my browser history you'd wonder what in the world I was up to.  Today I searched for how long it would take for someone to walk from New Orleans to Boston, the best glue to replace veneer, damage oven cleaner would do to wood, when Brandon Sanderson's new book was going to be out, do coleus' come back every year, how long does a tire plug hold up in a new tire, used 6ft artwork for sale, etc.

Okay...this is blogging day 4 out of 30.  Imma make it.  I think.  LOL!

Going, Going, Gone...Gray

I have been going gray for a minute now and I stomped all up and down declaring that I was just going to let it go until it is all the way gray and be a gray head rockstar looking all super sleek and whatnot.

I saw myself looking like this:

Just all one-dimensional amazing with some banging natural silvery highlights.

All regal and what not ya know?  QUEENLY!  I planned on wearing a lot of purple. Rich silks with like...some braiding on it or something.  I'm talking straight up Egyptian royalty in the house!  (Great...now I can't get "Egyptian Lover out my head...UGH!"

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Yall...I was ready to wake up already LIT!  

The reality of it, however?  It's gon' take a minute and I am struggling so much so that I think I'm going to have to do some temporary stuff in the middle of it all so I don't walk around here looking like someone without mirrors in her home.

This is my hair air dried and without heat or moisturizer on it to give it some semblance of a cohesive color and tame it.  This is my natural hair color and I am convinced God doesn't want me to live like this anymore.  Whenever He looks my way He probably shakes his head and says..."Oh no, baby...what is you doing?  I have given chemists the ability to create hair color so that you can handle that situation!  WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY???????"

I've tried everything to keep it contained.  I even had box braids for three weeks (I couldn't get used to all that hair and I promise my neck was tired holding up that hair.) and after seeing my little cousin with Dutch Goddess braids, I even did a version of it on my own using braid hair and French braids (cuz I can't do them dang opposite braids to save my life) and they were okay but only last a good week for me because my exposed hair starts looking too fuzzy.  

And it totally doesn't help that this guy I'm married to looks all distinguished gentleman and whatnot rocking his gray.  (So unfair and honestly...just rude...)

I'd like to find something between the two different braid styles using braid hair to keep it under wraps until more of the gray transition has happened.  Something that covers more of my hair but doesn't have to use so much braid hair.  I'm serious...I had for real, serious neck pain with all that hair and I got sick of wiping oatmeal off strands every.single.morning.  That's just gross.  I wish I could have kept them in longer though.

So I'm back to considering color but don't know where to start.  My funky red/brown/gray color is just odd as heck to me.  My hair is low-porosity so by the very definition it's more difficult to color and it's as healthy as relaxed hair can be and I don't want to sustain any damage with keeping color on longer during the coloring process.  Oh...and those temporary colors just slide off onto my pillowcase anyway so...

*sigh*

If anyone has any tips...holla atcha girl.  I'm desperate.  

I Got Time Today

It's Wednesday.

Sunday was a few days ago.

People are still proud, mad and processing.

This morning, my first call was from someone who is dealing with a co-worker who said some inappropriate ish during a meeting yesterday about the protest about inequality and continued racism in the United States of America.  The person thought they'd handled it but this morning the person gets to their office and the co-worker has left them some printouts of articles supporting the co-worker's misinformed stance on the NFL protestors who took a knee to protest inequality and continued racism in the United States of America.

The person who called me is ready to grab somebody by the collar and drag them down the hall to the parking lot and deliver an Ice Cube from Boyz-N-The-Hood stomp out.

Yesterday, I got a call from someone whose day started in a cab with a driver from another country who opened the conversation with talking about how disrespectful the protestors were.  They corrected what the cab driver wanted to believe the protest was about and then put their earbuds in and checked out of the ride.  Then, they got to their office and a co-worker who was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay below them on the food chain ladder asked if the person watched any football this past weekend since a lot of people were boycotting.  The person didn't have time on Tuesday and attempted to send the co-worker on their way after correcting what the co-worker thought the protest inequality and continued racism in the United States of America was about.  The co-worker tried to slide in the last word about how when you're at work you should do your job and use your time before and after work to protest.

OH...BUT YOU AT WORK, IN MY FACE, TALKING ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF DOING YOUR DAMN JOB!

Another person I know walked into their office and straight up made the announcement that conversation regarding the protests about inequality and continued racism in the United States of America was not something they were going to discuss.  WITH ANYONE.

The NFL protestor I know has been receiving emails and messages from people, IN PRIVATE, in support of his protest against inequality and continued racism in the United States of America.  I just think that is so odd and cowardly, ya know?  You understand, you want to help, but you don't want anyone you know to know that you understand and want to help.

You're going to remain quiet about it in public.

Oh.

Excuse me if I don't feel the sincerity.  

Excuse me if I call bullshit.

EXCUSE ME IF I IDENTIFY HOW MUCH A PART OF THE PROBLEM YOU TRULY, TRULY ARE.

Cuz I got time today.

How are you going to tell the people protesting what the protest is about?  When someone does something, don't you generally ask THEM why they did it so you know for sure?  That's how you remain willfully ignorant by taking the version from the people NOT PROTESTING, FOOL!

I got time today.

Megyn Kelly is getting paid $15 million a year by NBC supposedly after she just had a new show canceled because of ratings.  How in the shit does that mediocre race-baiting nitwit keep being a viable investment???????????  NBC better be glad they have "This Is Us" on their network or I'd never watch NUTTIN on their network again.  NEVER.AGAIN!  

I got time today.

The fire chief who wants the dude in our White House to post snipers and kill the protestors against inequality and continued racism in the United States??????  DUDE REALLY?  I'm so glad your evil azz got fired I might grill today just so I can start a fire in honor of your pink slip.

I got time today.

Sprinkles Cupcake company getting hate mail because they support American's right to protest? DO THEY PROCESS ONLINE ORDERS?  ANY GLUTEN-FREE CUPCAKES?  CAN I PAY FOR A DOZEN OVER THE PHONE AND HAVE A FRIEND PICK THEM UP?

I got time today.  

Kristie Kibbey Etue's post calling us anti-American degenerates from her powerful position as the director of Michigan's po-pos?  Oh really?  That's how you use your voice when you are supposed to be in charge of protecting and serving?  I hope they are calling for your resignation RAT.NAH!  I hope they are lined up outside of your office with signs chanting, "HELL NO!  YOU MUST GO!"

I got time today.

Jerry Jones straight up making it all about him letting ya boy know he can't tell him what to do with his fresh facial, lineup and blue suit?  

NO.JUST.NO.

That was so disrespectful to his players.  I bet they feel like crap being used like that.  Seriously.

I got time today.

Look...Imma say this.  Don't let this situation get you fired but if someone rolls up on you inappropriately at work, correct them calmly and then head to the HR department and let them know you feel threatened by being approached at work.  If your "friend" contacts you in private, talk to them and let them know how you feel.  Make sure you also let them know how their public silence makes you feel too.  If your neighbor stops speaking, screw 'em. If someone threatening says some ish to you in public, gauge your response properly.  Don't get hurt, don't initiate any hurting but if a mofo act like they crazy...

LET 'EM KNOW YOU GOT TIME TODAY.

A little bit of Martin...a whole lot of Malcolm.

Holiday Menu Spreadsheet Download

This is the spreadsheet I use every holiday meal to get ready.  I work on it a little at a time starting as soon as a cool breeze hit and I'm in a holiday mood.  You can download this to help you too.  It is a lifesaver when it comes to shopping!

Add sheets along the bottom with your recipes so you have everything where you need it to be and just prop up the iPad in the kitchen with "The Color Purple" on in the background and get your cooking on!

HOLIDAY MENU SPREADSHEET

(You happy, Kristen?)

The Eating Holidays are Coming!!!!

It's that time of year again when I want to completely redo everything to get ready for the holidays.  I just get into the thought process that people are coming so I need to be ready.  LOL!  Not like people aren't always visiting year 'round mind you.  Year 'round is okay for what it looks like...but when them SAME people come for the holidays it has to be mo'betta.  Don't ask for a rationale behind this way of thinking because there is none.  Seriously.  None.

But I know you probably feel me and are looking around your dining room to see what you need to do too.  LOL!  Cuz that's how we roll.

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This starts with me bringing home this piece.  It was soooooooo heavy and we just loaded that sucker up any way we could.  Just slid it all cross the back of the truck.  We got it home and maneuvered it to the garage where it stayed while I worked on it.  It was a challenge because whenever I needed to move it, I couldn't without The Robinator and his schedule made that hard to be consistent.  But I finally finished it.

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I stripped the top layer of the finish off and then lightly sanded it.  Then I put two coats of Minwax weathered grey stain on the top of it.  For the base, I painted it with Dixie Belle's Haint Blue.    It's the loveliest neutral color with just the tiniest bit of blue in it.  So much so that you only see it as blue in perfect lighting conditions.  LOL!  I'm talking blinds closed and ceiling light on.  Any other times it looks white.

Because I'm going for a rustic farmhouse look in there, I distressed it lightly.  I only did that after we decided to keep it because it was too heavy to take it to my shop.  I mean...this thing is crazy heavy and we're just not built for moving stuff that can't get scratched up.  We're more of the college students you find on Craigslist kinda movers where we just pray for the best and get the worst possible outcome.  Who knew I needed so much additional storage though?  I certainly didn't and now, I have much more.  I have a whole drawer dedicated to linen napkins so I'm not scrambling looking for 8 that match and end up having to use two sets of 4.  *sigh*  And who knew I had enough small placecard holders and napkin rings to fill an entire drawer?  Not me that's for sure!  But I do.  LOL!  So yeah...next thing is to find a rug I can live with, get some cushions made for those two barrel back chairs and some kinda window treatments which don't make the room feel stuffy and I'll be ready for the eating holidays!