St. Augustine Grass

What I know about dating these days comes from my friends who are dating and man…a lot has changed.

Text messages.

Non-date dating.

Forever friend zones.

Talk/text all day. No communication at night.

Etc.

Etc.

And a lot hasn’t changed.

Mainly…you meet people where they are and people meet you where YOU are. They were attracted to what they saw and felt when they met you.

Now…if you’re in a good place, that’s mad cool. You’re happy and all smiley and healthy and you’re all awesome and shit just straight chilling. You love your family, they love you, you have good friends, your dog doesn’t have fleas. Your tires are good and your grass is green.

You also know what kinda grass it is. Fescue. Bermuda. St. Augustine. Zoysia. Whatever. You know what kinda grass it is and you keep it watered and fertilized. You feed it, keep it cut, etc.

And it’s green and beautiful and fabulous. Just awesome.

So if someone meets you there while your grass is all lush, that is going to be amazing for both of you.

But let them storms hit hard and rain and rain and rain. All that water will stack up into a flood and wash all your good topsoil away. Nothing good but weeds can take root and they are good for nothing. They hurt the remaining grass and choke the life out of it and if someone doesn’t put some major work into bringing it back to life…it will ruin everything it touches.

So yeah…if you are in that space…you need to chill because the people attracted to that person are going to be in a bad space too. Bruh…that’s a whole lot of weeds.

Be with the people who love you and who can help repair you and get back to where you know you need to be. You don’t need to do anything other than that. Just chill. Be still. Work on what you have to work on and then…life will, hopefully, follow the natural order and you will be able to meet someone where you are with your grass all green.

I say this because I love you.

Take care of your grass.

Don’t end up with someone attracted to who you were when you were at your worst.

Grass baby. Green, green grass. St. Augustine grass. Lush and shit.

"You Straight?"

“You straight?”

A male friend told me that the last woman he dated wanted to wear the pants. She was pretty successful and he’s just regular dude. I asked him what happened to the relationship and he said they stopped talking. When I pressed him, he admitted that he just started to do that dude thing and basically kinda ghosted her.

He will probably be super single forever.

Makes me wonder about the woman however and if she’s dating a man yet who understands that yes, even as she is very independent and can do anything on her own, she definitely wants to know the man she is dating CAN be there for her without money being an issue and there are simply so few men whose egos won’t get the best of them as it relates to a woman THEY perceive, doesn’t need them.

And today’s single women aren’t out here pretending to be broke down so Captain Save-A-Ho can roll up and rescue them because they know that only happens in the movies. So it’s on men. Men are going to have to figure out how to be value added in a woman’s life and honestly, there are lots of simple ways. Drop her off at the hair salon and take her car to get an oil change. Change the air filters in the house. Vacuum the stairs because you know the vacuum is heavy. LISTEN to her when she talks and when she asks for advice, give her well-thought out advice which makes her always strive to continue putting her best foot forward.

In other words…don’t be a dummy and don’t say anything because you refuse to acknowledge that you are insecure about how to deal with a woman who doesn’t technically need you.

But I didn’t say any of that. All I said was…

“Aiight man, you straight? I gotta go.”

Rantings of a Creole Princess: Wrapped Wrong

I wake in the mornings softly most days. Robby brings me my coffee and I drink it in bed and read and watch the news. I then get dressed for the Y and I unwrap my hair and pull it up and out of the way so I can lay on the floor without my ponytail position bothering me. I work out for an hour, drink water and get back in my truck.

AND THAT DAMN LINE FROM MY SLEEP HEADSCARF IS STILL ON MY FOREHEAD!

Seriously.

Just wrapped wrong.

This is getting old man. All the elasticity just sapped out of your once supple skin. I mean really. This ish is for the complete birds! I wanna fight folks! I can’t read anything I hold in my hand unless I put on my readers and I’m always looking for a pair when I have damn near twenty pair since my sister is having the same problem and when she buys cute ones for herself, she buys cute ones for me. And, of course, all the super cute ones are long gone but the regular cute and the okay ones hide under the sofa, under the bed, etc. There are probably 5 pair on my bathroom counter right now but the pair I currently have on are crooked.

I have never been able to touch my toes but I’m trying to work on being more flexible. Why? I don’t wanna break a hip one day because I can’t move right. Crazy that this is something I am for real, seriously worried about now. I walk around asking my husband how much fiber he’s had and if he has had any fruit that day. It’s like all of the things you know you’re supposed to do just now become so much more important. You start thinking of food as medicine and as body repairers in ways you’ve never done before. I try my best to eat a tomato every other day to get some good lycopene in my system to help with anti-aging and I have used vitamin E oil on my face forever but now I know I have to use some vitamin C too so I use this pricey serum with vitamin C in it in the morning so I have that extra stuff too and seriously…THERE IS JUST SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE that it gets sooooooooooooooooooooo overwhelming but hell…I’m vain. I’ve always been vain. I like to be cute so yeah…the kid is going to go down fighting. I mean, I’m not ever going to have plastic surgery done or anything but I’ll work hard at putting the right stuff inside my body and on my skin ya know?

IT IS OKAY TO BE VAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I get me a dragon fruit ginger lemonade to help with inflammation because that’s another damn thing I have to think about now. Flipping inflammation. I have heredity bags under my eyes. Always have. Now? If I drink a lil glass of wine I wake up and the contents of the glass are in big azz bags under my eyes. If I need to be super fresh face somewhere I have to go a full three days without any wine and hell…I enjoy my glass of wine with my dinner. I know it is bad to say I need that glass but I do. It soothes my soul. LOL!

And water. I’ve always been really good about drinking water and believe that’s the main reason I haven’t spontaneously combusted yet but now it’s like medicine for me. Oh…and I have to drink it all before 7pm because if I don’t I’ll have to get up too many times during the night to use it. It’s too much man. I have to plan out my coffee and water intake before going anywhere because man…that tiny bladder is deep and real and yall remember I have issues that I’m not working on so I can’t just roll up on any bathroom ya know? So I’ve made friends with all of the clean bathroom owners on my routes. LOL! No lie yall. No lie. I will bring a dozen of donuts to you and your employees every once and a while to make sure I have access to your restroom when I’m out and about. LOL!

Primitive Trunk

On 28” pin legs!

I did have some fun with some furniture last week so that was cool. I turned this primitive trunk into something pretty awesome to store throw pillows in and I LOVE it!

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I even sang a song about it. Wanna hear it? Hear it go!

I turned this old cedar wardrobe into something functional for a guest bedroom as a guest closet. I know the closet in my guest room houses my coats. Something like this would be perfect for a guest to use as a closet. It would house their towels and all the guest toiletries in case they need something you know? I think I’ve decided to put glass knobs on it. Nice, right?

And I’m turning this sweet dresser and matching nightstand into nursery furniture. The furniture was the baby’s mommy’s furniture growing up.

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My favorite part of my week outside of my home is early Friday morning. I’ve given up control over my hair to my hairstylist. I don’t want to do a darn thing to it ever again myself. She got me back on the right track with a good cut and I’m hoping with her care it will grow back to a decent ponytail by the end of the year. I have to be at my store by 10am so I get to her at 8am and she has me out of there no later than 9:15. And I’m cute for the weekend of personal activities with my family! See how that works out? GO ME! I’ll probably still get braids when I have a lot of new growth since I hope to get no more than 4 relaxers per year.

So I’m trying to eat well and drink more water than wine. Speaking of wine, my new favorite drink is 1 to 2 ratio of Tito’s vodka to Limoncello with a splash of tonic water and a lemon twist. It is so decadent and perfectly perfect for the summer! Just a crisp and cool drink! You should try it!

Okay…how old are you and what aging challenges are you dealing with right now? Have you figured some things out the rest of us need to know about? Yall got some hot flash secrets? Are you working out? Eating whole foods? Do you come home and immediately put on soft pants too? LOL!

WHATCHALL BEEN DOING? ANY NEW BABIES? HOW THE BABIES I “KNOW” DOING? HOLLA ATCHA GIRL!

Balance Beam

In an effort to start back doing more of the things I want to do so I can still enjoy doing the things I have to do for my business, I am going to start blogging again. I might not do every day but several times a week I should be able to do. ESPECIALLY with ridiculousness like Amanda Knox going back to Italy knowing them people don’t want her over there. And did yall see that Social Security is going to be deplete in 15 years? And Prilosec and drugs like it are killing folks by giving em heart and kidney disease! Any day now one of us is going to die in a monsoon the way this weather has been kirking up and yall…there are over a hundred dolphin deaths out here recently because they opened up a spillway and let in a lot of freshwater without thinking of what it would do to the ecosystem. Like…WHERE.ARE.THE.MARINE BIOLOGISTS? SHOULDN’T SOMEONE SOMEWHERE HAVE SAID SOMETHING???????????????????

Got into a debate about Creole gumbo versus Cajun gumbo recently and literally just stopped talking and said, “Okay.” I’m good on my gumbo.

Speaking of gumbo, I have new hours at my store so I don’t kill myself trying to do it all. It wasn’t doctor’s orders it was husband’s orders. Dude was like…why are you killing yourself?

AND I FELT THAT!

I tried to return my hair to natural and was on the journey for 7 months and then decided nerp…not for me. And I relaxed again. I just didn’t have the time it seemed necessary to dedicate to transitioning. And…I caused a LOT of damage trying to transition and had to get a good cut to level it all back out again properly. So I’m rocking a layer cut that looks like nothing in my day-to-day topknot. LOL! You know…cuz I don’t have time to comb relaxed hair either.

I’m making things pretty and having an amazing time doing so. Check out my Instagram to see most of my projects. Let me know if you need any help doing something on your own. I can help you out via messages or phone! WHOOT WHOOT!!!!! www.Instagram.com/ThatGumboLife

I’ll be 50 years old in September and I’m starting to really feel this getting old thing. Aging is just wrong to women. I can’t take this hot stuff. It is honestly taking it out of me.

I’ve moved my store to a bigger location and I’m always looking for real estate for my next move. It’s super cute and I enjoy being there. I just don’t want to be tied to it every single day. Work life balance is key for me to have what it takes to choose happy. If I don’t have it…I’m just grumpy. I was either busy or exhausted. Those were my two modes.

EW.

What’s been going on with yall? I honestly miss all the different perspectives on topics that come up in the news and in my life so I’m going to try blogging again. Not every day but certainly a few times a week when it just builds up so much I wanna snap. LOL! And I miss writing daily. Massaging that muscle really helps me.

"Everybody's Money Don't Spend the Same" - #GuestsDontPay

Stop charging me to attend your celebrations — #guestsdontpay

I discussed this article with some friends earlier today.  One friend shared it with our group outraged because baaaaaaaaaby...this article is a mess.

It made me instantly feel some kinda way when I read it.  See, I know that...in the words of one of my Elders, "Everybody's money don't spend the same."  This means that you will probably have people in your life who you love who have more or less financial obligations, savings, liquidity than you do.  Because of this...I have always been the type of person who had no problem with throwing a party at my home so there was no financial obligation present for us all to enjoy spending time together.  

See...people are weak.  If you are invited to a dinner you know you can't afford to pay for, have the guts to send your regrets.  Simple.  You are not obligated to attend.  Your obligation should always be to how your money spends and nobody knows this better than YOU.  You can miss out on some shit.  Check Facebook or Instagram later.  Somebody will have posted some pictures and you'll feel like you were there.  Okay...that's bullshit...but still...use your damn words.  Be a grownup. It is very easy to say, I can't make it.  You don't have to give a reason why.  If the person is truly someone who loves you, however, I'd suggest letting them know that the reason you can't attend is because a night out isn't in your budget and I bet you, 9 times out of 10, they will figure out a way for you to join them to celebrate somehow.  Be it drinks after work soon or just lunch or dinner at the crib.

People who love you want to spend time with you.  Don't make it about money.  Say you can't go, but figure out something you CAN do together soon.

Stuff your pride and the ridiculous arrogance of this article in a hole out back somewhere.  Seriously.  Adult better.  Whine less.  Everything ain't 'boutchu.  Stop acting like it is.  Being a victim is sooooooooooooooo pre-Obama.

Love,

Monnie