The Mundane and Me

“The struggle to be your own version of great can be oh, so real. Sometimes, even the simplest of things like getting out of bed, putting gas in your car or folding clothes can get the best of you. I’m a great list maker. My follow through suffers on anything that isn’t a passion for me. The benign tasks of everyday life seem to not be what I’m here for...and yet...they continue to be necessary to do.”

— Monica Mingo, January 2015

Someone I love left something they love at my house.  They know good and well that I'm not the kind of person who ships or mails stuff.  I don't know why really...I just never seem to be able to follow through with that.  I feel bad about it but I can't change it.  No matter what.

Prior to them leaving my house I told them to double check to see if they left anything.  We laughed remembering that I hate shipping stuff.  Thirty minutes after they'd left...I was cleaning up and found the thing they love.

UGH!

They set me up for failure.

I put the thing at the front door so I wouldn't forget to ship it back to them and, within a few days, I went to ship it but the place I went couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't be broken when it arrived because they didn't have the supplies needed to send it according to what their list said they'd need.

JOY.

So I brought it back home with every intention of shipping it from New Orleans.  Well...when I was next in New Orleans, I ended up getting to the city too late to ship it from the place near where I was going to be.

*sigh*

Then it was going to go back with a mutual friend, but the mutual friend and I didn't get together when we said we'd get together so I couldn't hand it off.

So...it's been back where it's been.  And it's been added to.  I've added a couple of gifts to it but hell...makes no nevermind when it's still here and not THERE.

And I pass by it every.single.day.

But the only time I think about it is the brief second my eyes light on it.

I don't know why this is a constant in my life and I swear I've tried my best to be better at it.  You have no idea how much stuff I found when I was packing up 13700 that I'd purchased for someone I love.  Clothes that children I purchased them for have outgrown.  Fabulous gifts for fabulous people because I only buy things for people I love that I would buy for myself.  

I'm not proud of this.  I'm truly not.  But the good Lord Himself knows that it will probably always happen.  It's my negative THING.  The thing I can't shake no matter what.

Unless I have a PASSION for it, I have no desire to do it and so...it seems to never get done.  *sigh*

Anyone else have this issue?

Or is it just me?

Coffee Comfort

Mayorga Organic Café Cubano Whole Bean Coffee 5 Lb. Bag

I was talking to someone the other day when I remembered I needed to put in an order for another 5lb bag of the coffee we prefer to drink.  She then asked me a question that I ended up thinking about later.

“Do you really love coffee that much or do you simply love the ritual of morning coffee?””

At the time I told her that I really enjoyed my coffee but now I'm sitting here wondering if what she said had any merit to it as I'm an extremely habitual person.  When I don't have my morning coffee I'm not in much of a good mood but...what if it's not because of the actual COFFEE and has more to do with my being a creature of habit and my morning didn't start off normally?

What do YOU think?  Is it the coffee for you or...is it the RITUAL?  

How to Survive a Mandatory Water Shutoff

We got a note on our door saying we would have a mandatory water shutoff so they could do something to something over yonder or something.

From 8:00am - 4:00pm today.

Great.

I got up early this morning so I could get my day started and shower up before the cut off.  I then filled both bathtubs, a large pot, Jaru's water dish, the Brita pitcher, my tea kettle, the coffee pot (for tomorrow), the watering can and one side of the kitchen sink with water.

Those of you from the South know this is straight hurricane mode.  The water in the tubs is to flush the toilets and wash hands.  I use the watering can to pour the water into the toilet tank and into the sink.  The water in the kitchen sink is for cleaning so I added a bit of dish soap to it and the water in the pot is for food prep.  

Old school.

The sheet says that once the water is restored today, we'll have to boil water until further notice before digesting.

Joy.

Robby asked me to let him know if anything goes wrong so he can take a shower at the gym on his way home.  LOL!  

Hell...I'm just glad it wasn't electricity because Shelly would have come home to me and Jaru posted up on her sofa this evening until the all clear came.  LOL!

Are you able to manage mandatory utility shutoffs if need be?  Do you have that "survivor" gene?

Free Workouts!

This picture has nothing to do with the post...it just makes me laugh.  LOL!

I'm of the mind that once you get really serious about something, you don't have a problem paying for it.  And, since we are all really serious about our money...if we pay for it...then we'll use it since we don't want to waste our money.  That said, when I hear that someone has hired a personal trainer, knowing how much they cost, I know they are about to get for real brickhouse.

But...what if your money doesn't support personal training, which can be pretty costly?  What if you don't have all of those fees runs/races charge to participate?  What if, once again, the universe if playing a sick joke on you giving you the willpower and the mindset but not the means to make it happen?

And...what if this is yet another one of the ways your own mind plays tricks on you by getting you all riled up to do something and yet...you end up not having any follow through?

I know someone who gets really serious about working out several times a year and I always notice that they start off by buying stuff.  New sneakers, yoga pants, tank tops, sport bras, sweat wicking socks and underwear, headbands, etc.  By the time she's at an actual gym...she's spent several hundred dollars getting ready.  She looks good from head-to-toe in that matchy, matchy way.  She gets in there hot and heavy for about a week and then...previous routine work gets in the way and let's face it...having responsibilities really does take up the majority of our time.  When you're a professional woman...being worried about what your hair is going to look like at the office later is a for real concern no matter what anyone says.  Nobody sees your biceps and abs under  your suit jacket but they do see your hair so I never, ever, EVER discredit anyone who is concerned about what their hair looks like after an early morning workout.

When I workout I keep my hair bound as tightly as possible and I never take it down until it has completely dried.  That's easy for me since I'm in complete control of my time, but for others...not so easy.  

And I get that.

So...you need to really know what your hair will need in order to be work presentable after working out.  If you know you sweat a lot and that your hair is very porous so it takes a long time to dry...you will need to build in enough time to use your blow dryer on the cool setting to dry your hair.  

And time is really the biggest deterrent I've noticed in people who don't workout.  

I have a friend who gets up before goodness in the morning to go workout.  She gets dressed quietly so as not to wake up other members of her household and she rolls out, returns and then gets ready for work.

She also has a husband who is home with their children while she does this and she understands and appreciates that benefit.  If you're a single mother of a younger child, you can't very well roll out leaving the child(ren) solo while you get your sexy on.  You'd have to get the child up too and take him/her with you.  At 5:00am.  Now...I know yall love your babies...but I don't know many of you who would wake your child that early and drag them to the gym with you.  You will CLEARLY elect to let them sleep while you have some quiet time in the early mornings.

So...what do you if these are your challenges and you don't have the money for a personal trainer you can go to after work while your child is in after care or in a program at the gym that you pay for?

There are lots of things you can do actually.  LOTS.

I know someone who used to be overweight.  They lost all of the weight by walking.  They opened their door and walked out of the house and then...walked around and around and around their house.  She's been doing this for so long, you can see her "track" around her house.  She lost all of the the weight over time and incorporated weight training into her routine.  She's one of the healthiest women I know.  When she's not home, she uses a treadmill to do the same thing.  Three miles of walking a day.  Just walking.  

It worked.

If you have Hulu, search for GAIAM workouts:  GAIAM on HuluPlus

The Wake Up Workout is pretty good to get your morning started and you can mix up the different workouts daily.  All you'll need is a pair of weights.  You can do these at home wearing your underwear if you want to.  LOL!  Add that to some walking and you'll have a pretty good start if you need a jumpstart that your finances will support.  Get up at 5:00am, do some walking and one of these and you'll get a good workout in as far as heart rate and working out muscles go.  I mean...you can't do this to train for a marathon mind you...but you see where I'm going here.  It's SOMETHING.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.  That just doesn't even make sense.  Some of these workouts are 20 minutes long.  Add 30 minutes of walking and you're well within an hour.  Drink water and get it in.  Once you feel like you have surpassed the skill level of some of these workouts...think old school bootcamp workouts.  I fully agree that these moves are great to maintain on your own:

The Only 12 Exercises You Need To Get In Shape  

I love planks, pushups, lunges and squats and all the variations of those.  They keep my butt and tummy tight.  Those things are important to me as I'm vain as hell.  A droopy booty would send me spiraling into a free fall of depression I'm sure so...when I say I love those exercises...please note that I really mean that I love what those exercises DO because baaaaaaby...sometimes they can drain your brain.

Another thing you have to make sure you do is stay hydrated.  I have a tiny bladder so I tend to hydrate significantly twice a day.  After I have my morning coffee, I try and drink as much of a 40 ounce bottle of water as possible.  I usually get about 28 ounces in before a workout.  Then...I don't workout for another hour or so so I can get my bathroom breaks all out of the way.  If I drink even the tiniest amount of water while working out...I will have to take a bathroom break so I tend to workout completely and THEN drink the rest of the water in my bottle which I immediately fill up again and keep with me at all times.

I generally make a pot of organic green tea to drink during the day.  Just one pot.  Sometimes I drink it unsweetened and sometimes I add a bit of honey to it.  Around lunchtime I hit another big swig of my water trying to make sure I've finished it all before 7:00pm.  I try my best to not drink water after 7:00pm so I don't have to get up in the middle of the night and use the bathroom cuz when I get up I wake Robby and, more importantly...Jaru.  LOL!

I weigh myself every.single.day.  When I get out of bed, I use the bathroom and then weigh myself.  That helps me maintain throughout the day.  If I'm heavier than I like to be...I adjust.  If I'm lighter than I like to be...I adjust.  I make sure I do what I need to do to look like I want to look at all times.  

I eat more fruit and veggies than pretty much anything else and only eat meat for dinner regularly.  Of course I have bacon sometimes for breakfast but honestly...that's maybe twice a month and I SAVOR those times.  LOL!  I.LOVE.BACON!

The meat we eat with dinner regularly is always a good piece of something.  There is pretty much nothing we don't eat but whatever we do eat I try to get the best of it that is available to me.  One of the things I want to try to do really soon is to try and go for as long as we can eating foods that DON'T come in any type of packaging.  I think that will be an interesting challenge.  Straight fruit and veggies and meat from the butcher.  Should be interesting.

I was having this conversation with someone recently and they pointed out that it was easier for me to stay in shape because I never had babies.  *YAWN* Since she has a sister who also never had babies and who is overweight...I made my point pretty easily.  ESPECIALLY since we both know PLENTY of women who have had multiple children and are fine as a glass of wine.  We all work with what we have no matter what.  We all know what is needed in order to maintain the body we want.  Some of us never slacked off and some of us did but to slack off and not work on it is the true, major problem.

You simply can't live a good quality of life without moving.

You can't.  Stop fooling yourself.  You simply can't.  

Do this for yourself.

This year, instead of buying something to start a workout or joining a gym you know good and well will take more work to get to than you have time allotted for, try working out at home using free resources.  Search YouTube, ask your friends who are in great shape, put on a playlist built with music from  your senior year in high school and first year of college and WALK.

Once you build a for real routine...then spend some money.  If you have it and IF that's what you want to spend it on.

No excuses is a for real thing when it comes to working out and eating right.  

What type of at home workouts do you do?  Are they effective?  

Christmas Grief...Does it ever get better?

The other day I was in Target picking up a few things for stocking stuffers.  I was thinking about our dinner guests and considering putting together stockings for each of them if I could find the right size stockings.  The stocking couldn't be traditional stocking size because it would take too much to fill up for that many people and the only other size I could find were stockings to fit gift cards which were way too small.

So then I started thinking about maybe just doing stockings for the kids and I was roaming around Target slowly with a basket trying to figure out what would be the best options.  I was trying to think of what I knew about each kid specifically so I could put something personal just for them in their stockings.

I stopped at the nail polish section and saw several gift sets of polish and grabbed the Essie Holiday Mini Gift Set and then picked up a few emery boards making my way down the aisle.  I saw some other stuff too and kept moving down the store aisles until I got to the stocking stuffer section and my eyes fell on a Slinky.  I smiled and grabbed a couple and then, of course, some new Pez dispensers because Christmas stockings are never complete without a Pez dispenser according to my mommy.

And that lump that always starts in my heart started it's slow ascent up to the top of my chest right under my throat and I started trying to swallow it back and swallowing and swallowing and swallowing.  I didn't want it to rise in Target because I knew what would happen if it did.

My phone rang and I answered it.  It was one of my dearest framily members.  She asked me what I was doing and, still swallowing, I told her I was shopping for stocking stuffers.  Then she started talking and I was so grateful that she called right at that moment because listening to her and swallowing...pushed that lump back down to where it lives.  Constantly.

When she finished talking I thanked for calling when she did and told her she stopped me from completely losing it in Target.  She understood because she has the gift of empathy and understanding.  

She's a good egg.

We talked about how my mommy loved putting together our stockings and how she always seemed to find just the right little trinkets to put in it no matter what.  I'm talking little things no more than $1 or so that just really brought you joy because it was just for you.  I try to do the same and take my time picking out things I put in the stockings I make for people I love.

Because it's the way my mommy did it.

My framily and I continued talking until I was well out of the store and, even though my sadness didn't leave, I felt a bit better.

Later that night, The Robinator and I were talking and I told him about it.  He then asked me does it ever get "better" and I told him that...no...it never does.  The passing of time dulls the ache for extended periods but that sometimes the suddenness of that lump rising is outside of your control.

No matter what.

It's never NOT hit me during the holidays.  I suspect that will remain true for a lifetime.

What about you?  Those of you who've been left behind by someone you loved with all of you...has it ever NOT hit you during the holidays?  Have you learned how to push through it?  What are your coping mechanisms?