How do you reconcile being disappointed with a TRUE loved one?

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I’ve recently had to ask myself the question of what I should do when disappointed with a loved one. Someone you REALLY love and would move mountains for. Someone you’d drop everything to rush to their side in times of challenge for them. What do you do? It’s not like you can cut them off because you love them and they love you, you’re simply disappointed in them for a particular reason that goes against your personal belief system.

I guess this has come up a lot in recent years regarding politics. Your belief system might go against a loved ones strongly on a particular issue. I mean…none of us should be one issue people but, if we’re honest, there are a few issues that would REALLY make it hard to reconcile if you found out a loved one staunchly opposed that you supported and vice versa, right?

So what do you do? Do you pretend that everything is fine and just skip over the disappointment? Do you say something knowing it will become a hot debate? Do you just have to learn how to accept PRICKLY warts and all?

I am struggling with this. After yelling at a loved one for 15 solid minutes I feel VERY unsettled. I developed a migraine last night and woke up with it this morning so some of the way I feel has to do with the migraine too, I’m sure, but my disappointment has my stomach in knots.

My husband says it’s my fault because I simply have to learn how to not expect people to be as amazing as I think and hope they are. That is a truly depressing thought for me. *sigh*

What do YOU do? What would your advice for me be? How do I reconcile this feeling without too much damage to my heart and to the relationship? How do I not get to the point as say fug it and fade them to black knowing it will hurt me too?

Thank you in advance.

Disagreeing Agreeably Kids to Adults

One of the most important thinks being raised in a family is learning how to disagree agreeably.  This is honestly one of the most important things you can learn as a human.  Not learning this, however, can make things long and hard for you down the line.

I wasn't allowed to disagree growing up.  With my mother...maybe.  But on certain things.  Like...clothes or stuff like that.  She allowed me to have choices and I clung to the ability to have choices growing up.  With my father however?  No choices.  Do as he said ONLY.

I was watching a child I love recently being asked to make a decision about something.  The child deliberated and changed their mind twice.  The end result was that once the decision was made...the child was made to stick to that decision.  I marveled at that.  I loved that the child was being raised knowing that their opinions and what they want...are important.

SO.HOT.

I've seen this happen with other kids too and the kids took it too far.  And their parents let them.  They went on and on and on until the parent snapped and took the decision away from them because the kid was being indecisive.

That made me wonder.  Hmmmmmmmmm...

What's your take on allowing kids to make their own decisions?  On disagreeing with you?  How do you make sure to guide them in a way that doesn't strip them of their independent thought?  How to you allow them the opportunity to disagree with you albeit respectfully.

Are you raising children that can disagree agreeably?  Who will go on to be adults who can disagree agreeably?

Were YOU allowed to disagree with your parents?