I didn't watch "Empire" with my favorite people last night because I was on a plane. My flight didn't land until around 1:00 am so it was well into the two o'clock hour before I pulled up in the driveway. I was tired as hell and got in the bed. Then...I simply couldn't help myself...I checked Hulu and there they were...two shiny new episodes of my soap opera dream. YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS!
Hell yeah I watched it and loved it. I adore this show for what the over the top nonsense means...PURE ENTERTAINMENT!
You have to watch this show with a crew in order to get how entertaining it is. My favorite people that I normally watch it with are honestly the funniest people on the planet. Some of them need to write for Tina Fey. LOL! They are just that funny! LOL! Is the show all over the place? Yes. Are they running through plots fast as hell? Yes. Do they have a lot they need to tie up? Yes. Is a lot of it superfantastical? Yes. BUT I LOVE IT SO FOR ALL OF THOSE REASONS!!! ROFL!
So this morning I got up slow and low. Exhausted. And when I say this morning...I'm saying now...10:53am. Okay...thirty minutes ago cuz I'm that kinda tired that hurts somehow even though you don't feel pain-pain. Just achy, cranky, hazy, bloated face tired.
But I'm 'bout to watch it again friend!
Goals for today?
So Lucious got the shakes again playing the piano. Yall know I can't stand him right? RIGHT. Dude is evil personified and I was totally hoping he'd be the one who got killed.
Becky: You use your inside voice when you talk to Becky!
That was the first B'What?????????? LOL!
I like how Cookie just gives music advice with a baby on her hip.
Becky knows where Cookie is cuz she was sweet on Sweetface too. LOL!
Poor Hakeem. I feel sorry for that lil youngun.
Lucious thinks he is bigger than life. He wants to go out like a god. Lowercase.
Only Cookie would be in them boots in snow. LOL! ONLY.COOKIE! And that coat and that bag.
"Let's build a snowman."
"Oooooh yeah but I'm not trying to do that."
Sweetface is SO.CUTE! So glad that bunk part is out of his head now. It is beautiful that she's only been with her the father of her children. Unheard of these days. Whose glad Sweetface's shirt had snap buttons? LOL! GET IT COOKIE!!!!!!!!
Where'd man nurse come from?
Awww...Jamal a gay role model. Nice.
Cookie all booed up. I never understood being booed up on the floor though. I'm sorry...mattresses make everything better.
I could totally do without Snoop at all times.
Empire's offices stay filled reporters and flowing likka. I hate how Lucious talks to female reporters. He is such a turd. DID YALL SEE THAT MARIO VAN PEEBLES directed this?
Here Lucious go with that god mess again. Lowercase. Snoop jesus? #BoyBye
Is Hakeem rocking a leather onesie with a vest? WARDROBE!
Snoop on my screen. Bathroom break while *YAWNING*
Dude in the gold hat on the drums is giving me LIFE!
I'm in this joint rewinding Hulu like it's a cassette in my boom box back in the day.
Gold hat dude like..."DON'T PUT THAT ON ME RICKY BOBBY! I AIN'T GOT NUTTIN TO DO WITH THAT BROTHER LUCIOUS!"
Best acting in this episode goes to the dude standing next to Lucious during Hakeem's rap battle. I love him. He reacted just like I would if I was standing next to Lucious. He should be famous TOMORROW! Extra of the year! Best non-verbal acting in ten seconds! He's like...DAMN BRUH...YO SHIT STANK!
If anybody knows that dude tell him I'm looking for him. For real. LOL!
Hakeem is going to snap. His parents always hitting him and ish. UGH.
Hate Lucious even more now. Hakeem spit on him. Cold.
Hakeem...you can't leave Empire. It's in your blood.
Them red leather chairs the brothers are sitting in talking about how dog dirty Lucious is? ALL.OF.THAT. Gimme them chairs.
Yall see how them guts got yanked when he realized Cookie was in the Berkshires with Sweetface Malcolm? To quote my most non-hood framily, he "in his feelings" big time. ROFL!
I like JHud with loose sleeves and pencil skirts past her knees. And tights. Good wardrobe decisions.
Andre 'bout to get him some holy juice.
That's exactly how me and Dr. Punkin would show up if I was Cookie. Or if she was Cookie. She's shorter than me. Like Cookie is shorter than her sister, Carol.
Lucious is such a dick. He mad for real!
"Seventeen years Bitch! Everybody waiting on you to die Lucious!"
That was cold too. But I get it.
Andre is overnight saved.
That dress Cookie is wearing? Seriously? GIMME THAT DRESS!
Cookie...go with Malcolm and make jams in Vermont...wait...wrong show....
Andre quitting. Now we all know Rhonda is not going to let that happen. She is going to end up running Empire in the third season. Watch.
Lucious and his god complex again talking about music is the voice of god. Lowercase.
So Lucious has two sons that have no problem showing they hate him. He has one left. The gay one.
THE PRODIGAL SON.
Jamal is the most like Lucious than all of them. He can hide his hatred as long as it serves his purpose. Oh...Jamal is a monster.
"Oh I get it. You want me to throw your azz in the trashcan again." Yall...I for real hate him. If I saw him in real life...I would call him out his name! "At least you walk like a man."
This jam session was hot. AFTER Jamal took over cuz um...Lucious...I mean...Quentin. Cuz yall KNOW whenever he has a guitar in his hands he is straight QUENTIN! (WHEN QUENTIN THREW THAT PHONE THO'!!!!!)
I couldn't shoot someone point blank range. The blood splatter on my face would take me out.
This full fuchsia fur Cookie is rocking? Yes. (Who else thinks Lucious and Carol got it on? And yall see how Carol went fixed herself a drink while Cookie and Lucious were talking? Yeah...she's been there before.)
So Jamal is Big Red now huh? His office hours 9 to 5?
Anika 'nem get it on in open rooms with beads as a barrier? Really? Okay. Can we talk about how nasty she is for sleeping with her two weeks ago fiance's lil boy? And Hakeem? That boy needs to be tested for STD's STAT! He does the most with his lil young chest. Him need bleach baths.
Imma be honest with you. If a doctor told me I had something that was going to kill me and then came back months later like...OOPS...my bad? SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!
So now we have the Spike Lee camera moves mixed in with Al Pacino from "Devil's Advocate" as he realizes he's not dying. Lucious on that heavyweight hate ego pill.
Now what Lucious did in that church house when JHud dared wear above the knee skirt...he wrong for that. He so fake and evil. Why would you keep hurting that child? SERIOUSLY?
Why was Cookie in the house with Lucious? I don't get this at all.
BUNKY! He got his chain back from Hakeem.
OOOOOOOOH! HE 'BOUT TO TELL IT! HE KILLED BUNKY!
KILL HIM COOKIE! HE TALKING 'BOUT YOU AND YOUR BABIES!!!!!!!!! THIS SOAP OPERA JUST SCARED ME WITH THAT PHOENIX FROM THE ASHES MESSIAH STUFF. WE ALL NEED HOLY WATER.
Jamal is seriously his father's son. Yall KNOW Lucious has gotten busy just like that on that desk before.
KILL HIM COOKIE! KILL HIM! HE SHOULD DIE! YOU SHOULD KILL HIM!
There were four B'what moments, three Daaaaaaaaaaayums and four WHAT THE FUGS in this episode. There wasn't enough Cookie in this episode and I want my Sweetface back.
Whatchall got? Who do you watch it with? Who do you immediately call during commercials and when it's over? LOL! Me? T-Rhonda. Even though she straight TORTURED me last night! LOL!