On Don Lemon, Bill Cosby and Why Black People Can't Have Ish!

Don Lemon is from where I'm from.  Not from the state mind you...but from the actual, small town.  He's three years older than I am so I imagine I probably sat in some of the same chairs he sat in at the lunchroom at school.  Shadowing his experiences, essentially, three years later.  We went to the same grocery store, the same drug store, picked up penny candy at the same five and dime.  I didn't know him but I "know" him in that everyone from where we're from knows of everyone else.

It's just that small.

Don Lemon grew up gay and sexually abused as a child by a neighbor.  Being sexually abused as a child really messes you up.  Being abused AND gay, where we're from?  Whew...bless that poor baby's heart.  I'm sure his demons are deep.

See...people like my father and all the Elders I knew back where we're from didn't play that "gay crap."  They would beat the gay straight out of you.  Never mind gay can't be beat out of someone...they tried.  Goodness knows they tried.  And they didn't mess with you either.  They'd nod politely but the second you rounded the corner..."That's that funny one" would round the corner with them.

Needless to say...I'm sure it was rough.

But...he was "light skinned" and articulate and handsome.  All the things White people where we're from gave a pass to.  It didn't matter that you were gay.  They didn't have to worry about you sniffing up behind their daughter so yeah...be gay...come to dinner...let me open this door, ie. make a call for you since you are non-threatening.  You're an acceptable version of the others.

Because we all know that if you have the ability to make a person let their guards down around you...you begin to find the human layers behind the thick wall of NO.

Now...again, I don't know Don Lemon personally but I fear I know the type of person he is just by listening to his bullshit all these years.  He's the worst type of Black person out there.  The type of Black person who trashes other Black people to White people to help boost THEIR personal image.

"Look at me.  I'm not like them.  All of them.  Now give me free!"

I DESPISE Black people like that.  I mean sure...we all know people we'd never emulate.  We'd never park on the grass, we'd never drive into a residential neighborhood with the music blaring from our special speakers with rims on our car that cost more than the car is worth.  We'd never wear our pants sagging so low that you see our underwear.  We'd never throw trash out of our cars to the ground, we'd never walk around barefoot willy nilly, we'd never, we'd never, we'd never...

But we'd also never assume that every person who shares the same skin color as we do are out and about doing those things.  

In my personal opinion Don Lemon is a racist and he's the type of diversity the kkk is looking to incorporate into their organization and, as far as I'm concerned...he can go straight to their version of hell.

I stopped fuggin with CNN in 2008 behind that Black in America bullshit and I only see anything about them via social media and normally, when I click on their links it's with sincere disdain and straight up lip curl action.  Why is Don Lemon still employed by CNN after all of the offenses he's committed with his wayward azz, ignorant azz tongue?  Because they need someone to say the things he says with a black face (lowercase 'b') to make them seem racially inclusive.  He is the spokesperson for how they feel about Black people as a whole.  He is currently, their damn Black person figurehead.

I've been around people like this dude all of my life and I do not care for them at all.  I don't care for people who believe their experiences could have been the same for all who share a minor similarity in the grand scheme of all we are.  Sure...we all have demons and our own ish but I believe it is the stronger person who recognizes that even though they had what it took to get out of THEIR shit puddle, others may not have had the same opportunities.  It comes back down, as always, to empathy.

Empathy will always prove the worth of a man.

Bill Cosby's history is one such that he has had control over what is written about him, that we don't really know what is what anymore.  We know he was raised in Philly, dropped out of high school in the 10th grade, went to the Navy, got his GED while in the Navy, went to college after the Navy, was an athlete in college and continued his education while an adult until he received his Ph.D.  All good stuff.  

When I heard Cosby, I heard my father and uncles laughing and talking.  That deep, commandeering voice.  The mirth and the seriousness.  When he figured out that clean comedy would get him more of an audience he was everywhere and well...again...he sounded like the men I was familiar with so I listened.  He was the television father I wished I had.  Seemingly free of all the demons my real life father had that switched him from dad of the year one second and nightmare dude the next.  So, when Dr. Cosby started getting on his Papa Pope pulpit...I didn't think two blinks about it.  Why?  Because he was saying all of the same things I'd heard from my Elders all of my life.  Even if they didn't follow the same script themselves.  

DO AS I SAY NOT AS I DO!

I never thought about the dangerous nature of that preaching outside of my home.  I never thought about a national audience hearing those words and wondering why OTHER Black people didn't do as he said because pulling up your pants is all a young Black man needs to do and then VOILA!  He will magically become more acceptable in the eyes of the world at large.  That's all that is needed right?  Not much else.  The lack of opportunity and lack of quality education and lack of people with the power to hire hiring someone who looks like them doesn't matter.

PULL UP YOUR PANTS AND YOU GET A JOB!  YOU GET A JOB!  YOU GET A JOB!

See...at home, our parents knew that we have all sorts of opportunities and their rants against us came with the knowledge of every aspect of who we were as individuals and challenges we may or may not have had.  Telling a young man who comes from a middle class or even a working class household to pull up his pants and stop acting like a donkey's azz will have more of an impact than telling a young man who is at the bottom of all the statistics which matter to pull up his pants.  What if he didn't have a belt and he was wearing what he could find to wear?  What if he only could have the luxury of seeing school as the only place he got something to eat and where there was electricity, running water and heat?  What if the child was surviving and would never, ever, ever have the opportunity to have a childhood the way we believe childhood should be?  Full of play, Garanimals and Disney movies?  

Yeah...you hear me I guess.

A long time ago someone told me of a 3 year old child in an apartment complex they used to live in who would come into their home and steal food.  The three year old was real sloppy with it, of course, but the person told me that every day, the 3 year old would come over to play with their child and eventually sneak into the kitchen and steal some food.  They would take it back to their house and hide and eat the food.  The person started leaving food more accessible for the 3 year old to "steal" once they realized that the child wasn't eating at home because of the family's situation.  Think about that.  Think about when your child was 3 and slinging yogurt and peas all over the kitchen from their chair while you snapped super cute pics of food all over their face while they hold their lil' Disney character spoon in their hand all crooked.  Yeah...now think about what has to happen in a 3 year old's life that he has to figure out that in order to survive...he has to take care of himself by any means necessary.  By the time that 3 year old is 14...if circumstances never changed...what the fug you think telling him to pull up his pants is going to do?

It might be easy, in the beginning of growing into who you're meant to be, to think those simple things might help...but as you read more and become more aware of the world outside of YOUR microcosm of a bubble...one would think that your thought process would be more empathetic to other possibilities right?  You'd start figuring out that yes...your experience differs but that it doesn't mean that it could have been the same for all no matter what right?  I mean...wouldn't you ever take a step off that pedestal and walk around with your eyes open?  Wouldn't it make you more appreciative of the opportunities you had and wouldn't it make you want to try and see if you could affect more change positively?  By not shitting on people?

And what does it mean when you don't?

That you're a narcissist and most probably a racist.

And, in your head...you're a God who can take what he wants to take from others because you are allowing them to stand in your light.  And...based on your weaknesses...what you deem you are worthy of taking...can look different person-to-person.

With Cosby, all signs point to him taking via rape.  

All signs point to Bill Cosby being a despicable predator with a pattern of victim choosing. Defending the actions of a despicable predator makes you despicable too. How about developing a culture where men absolutely 100% know that you DO.NOT.RAPE?

Unfortunately, I love several people who were raped and if people were defending the despicable MF who raped them...I would most likely go postal because I've cried with them late into the night and I've stood in their corner doing whatever I could to help them with the multitude of challenges being raped brings into the equation when one of the variables is RAPE. 

And if I ever had the opportunity to go back in time and show up before the rape occurred I would...and I'd bring my axe handle.

 Persecuting the victims?  Dude...really?  *sigh*

When I think of the Black people with the national spotlight and the trust of people who aren't just Black...it's not a long list.  When I think of those people individually and consider what they are doing to shine the spotlight on issues we, as a country, should REALLY focus on...that list dwindles to damn near non-existence.  That national spotlight is for the few and far between.

Makes my head hurt really.

But...it also makes me know that I need to do more for those I have a direct connect to who need help because no one else is really giving a damn about connecting with them.  MUCH MORE.  

Oh well...I solved nothing here, of course.  Just a rambling of things we all know.  Comparing two types of blights with that national spotlight knowing we all wish they would have been better people than the people it turns out they actually are.  The celebrated creams of our crop.  Racists and rapists.  

How funny is it that Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River" is on now and I'm singing the chorus loudly?  

It's funny cuz it's true.  

Thoughts?  Please...by all means...get deep with it.  I beg of you.

 

Bathroom Natural Disaster!

I just washed, deep conditioned, blow-dried, trimmed, curled and pin-curled my hair.

The bathroom is a Stage 4 DISASTER currently!

When you do your own hair...do you make a hot mess too?  Or is it just me?

Who's coming help me make it all clean again?  I'll feed you and give you lovely pre-Scandal wine.  :)

How to Roast the BEST and JUICIEST Thanksgiving Turkey!

Fresh Or Frozen Turkey?

I always prefer a fresh turkey.  Because of this, I know I have to order it a few weeks in advance and go either pay for it completely or put a deposit down on it.  Then I pick it up Wednesday morning so I can bring it home and get it ready to brine.

If you're using a frozen turkey you should buy it on Monday so it stays in the fridge thawing until Wednesday when you need to get it ready to brine.

The next morning I get the bird out of the fridge and roast it.

 

Brining the Bird!

I always brine our turkey.  The first time I wanted to do it forever ago, I found a brine recipe by Martha Stewart and had ever intention on buying the ingredients and doing it.  Well...I needed to run by Williams-Sonoma to pick something up and saw their brining mixes.  When I read the ingredient list...sounded the same and when I did the head math it was going to cost way less than all of the ingredients THE MARTHA listed that I'd need.

So yeah...bought it and have been using it ever since:  Williams-Sonoma Brining Blend, Garlic & Rosemary 

I also bought their brining bags:  Brining Bags

And I followed the instructions on the container.  I put the bag in my big gumbo pot and put the turkey in it.  Then I add the brine, close the bag, put the lid on the pot and put it in the fridge for the amount of time I want to brine it (follow the instructions on the mix).

I've also found that the brining mixes at Whole Foods look pretty much the same so if you can't get to WS, just check out your grocery store options too.  

When you brine your turkey you are basically sealing the pores of the bird so the juices stay in while cooking.  LOL!  All that salt water just seals the skin right on up.  This way...you don't have to start with your turkey breast side down first so that the breast is guaranteed to be juicy.  The thought of my clumsy behind flipping a hot turkey mid-cooking is tragic.  Nobody wants that.  That turkey would be sliding across the kitchen floor like a fumbled football on an NFL field.  

 

Simple Roasting Instructions!

1.  Remove the second rack from the oven and tuck it by the fridge out the way.  Position the lone rack so that when you put the turkey in...it's in the MIDDLE of the oven from top to bottom and side to side.

2.  Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

3.  Take turkey out of brine.  Drain right side up holding turkey under the wings.

4.  Put turkey on rack inside roasting pan.

5.  Put turkey neck and giblets in bottom of pan UNDER rack.  (Hopefully you have the proper rack that is not flat to allow this.)

6.  IF YOU'RE NOT STUFFING (which I never, ever, EVER do) place a lemon, cut in half, inside the cavity along with half a bell pepper and half an onion.

7.  With hands...rub turkey down really well with softened butter (If you forgot to allow your butter to soften put in the microwave for 10 second intervals checking it between intervals to see how soft it is.  Should only take one and a half interval or so depending on your microwave.).  Make sure you get all up in the crevices and everything.

8.   Sprinkle the turkey LIGHTLY with SOME of your herbs at first.  Why?  Cuz the heat and the butter is going to make most of them slide off in the beginning.  Pace yourself...it's gonna be fine...I promise!

9.  Fold aluminum foil over the wing tips.  You know...kinda like making long Erica B. style gloves for the bird so the tips don't dry out.  LOL!  

10. Using linen cooking twine, measure out twine.  I usually cut off more than I need and trim.  Pull twine out, hold arm straight in front of you and let length of twine almost reach the floor.  Double that and cut.  Starting at the center of the twine...put it under the butt of the bird, folding the butt up tightly.  Follow in a common sense way to pull the legs and wings as tight to the bird as possible without it being TOO tight so the twine doesn't cause damage to the skin.  It doesn't have to be neat...just tight.  Mmmmkay?

11.  Add 2 cups of chicken broth to the bottom of the pan along with the giblets.

12.  Make a "blanket" for your turkey by folding aluminum foil over parchment paper and cover bird.

13.  Place turkey in oven setting timer for HALF the time you're going to cook the entire bird. (Roasting time depends on size of bird and if it's stuffed or not.  Check here:  http://www.fsis.usda.gov/wps/portal/fsis/topics/food-safety-education/get-answers/food-safety-fact-sheets/poultry-preparation/lets-talk-turkey/CT_Index)

14.  Turn the oven temperature down to 350 degrees.

15.  When timer goes off...you're ready to start the basting process.  You won't have much (if any) liquid in the bottom of the pan.  This will change.  LOL!

16.  I always start off with two cans of broth in the bottom of the pan along with half a stick of melted butter.  (DON'T FORGET TO REMOVE THE ALUMINUM FOIL GLOVES!!!!!)

17.  Sprinkle your bird with the rest of the seasonings you're using and (reset timer for the rest of time needed to cook your bird)  Baste the turkey using both the brush and the basting bulb.  (I use this:  http://creoleindc.typepad.com/rantings_of_a_creole_prin/2013/11/angled-dripless-turkey-baster.html)  BE QUICK!  EVERY TIME YOU OPEN THE OVEN HEAT IS ESCAPING SO YA GOTTA BE QUICK!  USE THE LIGHT ON YOUR OVEN TO CHECK IN! 

18.  I don't know how often I baste but it's prolly like every 20 minutes or so.  I'm quick.  Pay attention to what's in the bottom of the pan and adjust as needed with broth and whatnot. 

19.  Keep basting until the bird is done.  It should be a lovely golden brown.

20.  Remove and using handles on rack...remove the bird from the pan and put on a long cookie sheet cuz you're about to make the gravy.

Now, everybody has their own method to do anything so keep in mind this is the way I do it.  My turkey is always delicious and I've changed up my process over the years and perfected it.  There are, arguably, better ways to do most of this so if it makes sense and it works for you...then you know what to do.  If you're a first time turkey roaster, however...I promise you can't go wrong following these instructions.  

If you have any questions just ask and I'll answer.  I promise to be nice unless you ask me something super dooper crazy.  What's super dooper crazy you ask?  Once...on a recipe for something with shrimp in it, someone asked what could they substitute for shrimp.  

*BLINK*

I told them gummy worms because really...that's just dumb.  There is no substitution for shrimp.  Just don't put shrimp in it.  

I made the following video in 2009.  I've since changed some things up but it will help you visualize the process.  This was BEFORE really getting into filmmaking so yeah...the production quality pretty much sucks.  LOL!  Next time I roast a turkey I'll make a better one.  

I hope this helps!  I believe in you!  Your turkey is going to be FAN-TA-BU-LOUS!

Cooking a turkey isn't difficult...I PROMISE! Follow these steps for a perfect bird! (The turkey in this video is 18 pounds. Please consider the size of YOUR turkey when cooking!)