Monnie Larry David

A framily member and I were discussing “Curb Your Enthusiasm” today and it was determined that I was the Black female version of Larry David.

Take this season when Larry started a whole coffee shop next to his nemesis out of spite. It was the pettiest thing he could do and yet…I’ve done this before on a much smaller scale. See…I had a woman refuse to shop where I was once until I’d left the building. She was looking for a table. I asked the owner how many tables he had and, when he told me, I told him I’d buy all he had. He was surprised but went around and counted it up, I paid and then left. With ALL the tables. That I had to return to pick up.

I called them the Petty Collection and it took me a long time to sell all of them but I did it.

Cuz I’m petty.

So I totally get Larry David’s energy. TOTALLY.

I also don’t like touching people. This hasn’t been a recent, sign of the times thing, this has been me forever. Larry David doesn’t like random people either. He always gets wrapped into some craziness and well…same. sigh I don’t make the things that happen to me up. I am simply not that creative. Shit just happens and I go along for the ride with an in-my-head commentary going on that I can’t shut off. Hella funny, mind you. HELLA.

I just finished reading this article about Larry David and well…it’s pretty spot on with me. In fact…I totally feel seen: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/04/style/larry-david-curb-your-enthusiasm-coronavirus-psa.html

What television character are you most like?

"Insecure" Review - Season 4, Episode 1

Molly Loves Issa

“Honestly, I don’t fuck with Molly anymore.”

Season 4 of “Insecure” is back and it starts off showcasing, once again, just how complex day-to-day relationships can be. The series can be a lot of things. A show about Black millennials, a show about girlfriends, a show about dating, a show about career choices, haves and have-nots, all of that. It’s like that meme about trying to have time to do everything you want to do just trying to keep it all together.

Mostly, however, in my opinion, it’s about love.

More specifically? About Molly and Issa’s love because it’s there and it’s real. As real as any dysfunctional love you’ve ever witnessed is.

And Molly is a master of dysfunctional love with men, so why is anyone surprised that her love with Issa is more, if not all, of the same?

So I have read a lot of people say everything from Molly being jealous of Issa to Molly needing Issa to be broken down so that Molly can feel good about herself and that makes me cringe because I think Molly’s issues have nothing to do with Issa and everything to do with the fact that Molly is insecure as hell.

Molly’s shit with men is toxic as fuck and she acknowledges this. In fact, the only person who has EVER been able to tell her something about men that she will listen to is Issa. She might not acknowledge it initially, but we see her LISTENING. We see her seeking validation from Issa regarding her feelings and if she’s right or wrong when it comes to men. Issa is her touchstone. Her talisman if you will and, in her way, she believes she is the only person who can save Issa from Issa’ing and, because of their history, she hasn’t recognized yet that Issa is growing and changing. FINALLY.

Issa knows that Condola is the version of woman that Issa is striving to be. She knows her shortcomings and this thing with Lawrence has, once again, made her feel that she isn’t good enough. Molly KEEPS telling her she is but is focused on her own painful stuff she’s trying to pretend isn’t painful and she doesn’t have what it takes to thoughtfully consider Issa’s DEEP, deep ish.

And hey…neither of them have initials behind their names and can’t offer therapy to the other.

But eh…we saw it coming.

We all felt Issa wasn’t emotionally mature enough to handle it. We ALL worried.

When Condola told Lawrence, he didn’t think Condola should continue working with Issa at first either and yet, the masses aren't giving him crap about his immediate reaction. It was only after he took a breath and considered that Issa needed help that he changed his tune. Issa didn't think so either, hence the awkwardness and asking Kelli for her opinion regarding. It was weird because eh…Issa still has unresolved SOMETHING regarding her breakup with Lawrence. I don’t know if she still loves him but she’s still connected and she still wants things to have been different between them you know? So there is that.

I’ve had more than a few conversations about the triggering comment Molly made to Issa after the mixer was over and she’d let Issa know she knew about Condola and Lawrence. Molly said, “It’s just that…you know your life doesn’t have to be this messy, right? Sometimes I think you like that shit.”

And Issa did that thing with her face that she does when she has just absorbed something hurtful that she isn’t ready to admit hurt her. Her buffer face. The awkward Black girl face we first fell in love with. The face Molly has seen more than anybody I’m sure.

Molly and Issa have experience with each other and there are place cards for where each fit in the other’s life. Molly shows up pushing a hot Audi whip dressed in matching pricey yoga wear to spend Sunday self-caring with the only person she can count on and Issa is there waiting on her dressed in random t-shirt with shorts and derailing the process from the onset by whipping out the weed and then burning her mat with said weed. Nothing that surprises Molly. It’s easy. She moves past each of Issa’s awkward moments with ease, as she is a pro at maneuvering within them. Issa, the classic late bloomer, is growing. Not in the “normal” time frame of college, graduate school to career, but in other ways. In the bobbing and weaving of a creative. Still broke, still trying to figure it out, but showing up. Yes, showing up in a wardrobe she’s faking, but moving forward. Slowly. And there is a hiccup, per the norm.

Fucking Lawrence.

All of Issa’s friends and family are helping her out. Bartending, DJ’ing, talking up the project to investors when she was falling short, helping to clean up, hyping up the crowd, etc.

ISSA IS LOVED.

This is a love story.

I have someone that I love big time but is well known to be a fug up. Whenever they call me with something I automatically think to myself…”Aw lawd…here they come with the bullshit” before they have even uttered word one. Why? Historically they have made poor choices, which end up creating mess, drama and just a hectic existence. I watch it all unfold and, even as I wish they’d make better choices based on what they have experienced, 95% of the time, they still on dumb shit.

And the dumb shit ends up blowing up.

And I just wish that they’d stop doing dumb shit and had a lovely, cushioned existence filled with joy and happiness. Because I love them.

But eh…I KNOW them so I’m never surprised.

Molly and Issa won’t ever be as healthy as they can be until one or both of them have someone else in their life to bounce the OTHER stuff off. Neither of them is healthy enough to be everything to the other one.

That is a Molly AND Issa problem. Issa’s awkward azz is not blameless and Molly isn’t an evil bitch.

Kelly needs her own show.

Just my half a cent.

Show Us The Middle...Why I love the Show "Atlanta"

I like to know what happens in the middle. Started from the bottom and now we're here? What happened in the middle? I bet that middle is interesting as hell. I bet I will learn a LOT from that middle. I bet that middle looks a lot like MY middle.

That's my major problem with movies and shows about slavery in 2016. We don't have enough of the middle out there. We don't have enough of the building blocks to where many Blacks are now. So you skip over that entire middle and take people either BACK to slavery or straight to Louboutins, expensive weaves and big houses on the hill? Where is the middle? People need to see the middle.

Show people the struggles in the middle so they know they aren't out there dealing with this stuff on their own. Let people see how other folks dealt with the same ISSUES in the middle of all their other everyday issues and balanced them out. The middle can be a rocky azz road. That "pretty" part is hard to come by. More people need to see THE MIDDLE.

Folks walking around looking at the Louboutin life feeling bad about their life because nobody showed them that the meal of Spring Vegetable Ramon with a fried egg on the side used to be a staple IN THE MIDDLE for far more than just them.

Music, television, and film these days, catering to people who look like me, leaves the middle out completely so these kids get disappointed with their life because they never see THE MIDDLE. They think they are supposed to just jump up and have the Louboutin life and when they find out that a pair of Louboutins cost more than they are bringing home in a month from their hourly job...that disappointment sinks deep. It changes the fabric of their get up and go. They start thinking that it's s imply too hard to get there because THEY NEVER GET TO SEE THE MIDDLE.

And poor White people just don't get a break at all. They see Whites on television living the good life but nobody tells them how they get out of poverty. They start wondering WTF? Why "ain't" I upper middle class successful? All these other people I see on television are. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE TOO RIGHT? Poor Whites in entertainment are always stuck out spitting tobacco posting private property signs in their yards which don't have grass in a sea of abandoned pickup trucks. Nobody shows them THE MIDDLE either.  So they stay mad all the damn time.

Yeah...THE MIDDLE is important. Don't forget that. A lot of shit goes on in THE MIDDLE which looks JUST.LIKE.YOUR.SHIT. 

You got what it takes. Don't let the entertainment interests of a few greenlighters make you think you don't need to know THE MIDDLE.

SHIT.

Game of Thrones Finale Recap - The Damn Ginas

This preacher/sparrow whatever he is needs to go.  He's doing the most.  He just carved Loras' head like that in front of people?  DAMN GINA! That's that bull. Margaery you should have known you couldn't trust him.

This jacket Cersei is rocking is killing the game.  I want two of them.  "I choose violence."  That is one of the best lines from the season.  I'm not a fan of Cersei but I want her to wreak havoc on that religious goon.  That dude gives me the heebie geebies.

So you send old boy to get Cersei WITHOUT AN ARMY?????????  She already told yall she chooses violence!  She ain't playing bruh!  Not with the mountain by her side and them dang children of the corn running around with knives and ish!

Now...yall know I love the kids but seriously...these kids have me side-eyeing all kids.  Stuff like this makes me turn my head and even then the sounds are just gross. They messed Pycelle up!  DAMN GINA!

Wait...where did that kid jab that dude?  

YALL BETTER LISTEN TO MARGAERY!!!!!!!

Dear HBO...your HBO Now app sucks.  Seriously.  Rewinding is a crazy chore.  

Oooooooooh!  That green fire stuff Tyrion used that time!  DAAAAAAAAAYUM GINA!  THEY GOT BLOWED THE HECK UP!

Bye Margaery.

CERSEI.IS.EVERY.SINGLE.THING.RIGHT.NOW.

But wait...why is she wasting the wine though?  That's not called for.  This faux-nun chick is a goner.  This outfit Cersei is rocking is so amazing and she is telling it all!

Oh mercy on Unella's soul.  "Shame.  Shame.  Shame." DAMN GINA!

The little king is next.  I  hope his mother is gentle with him.  

Well...and then there's that.  Yet another DAMN GINA!

Jamie wants to be a good guy soooooooooo badly but all his dirt can't get him over the hump.  I can't stand the Frey's ever since the Red Wedding.  That level of treachery is just...NO.  Jamie just put him on notice.

Cersei has lost all of her babies now huh?  

HEY SAM!  I love Sam.  I liked when he snatched his sword off that wall too.  That baby is super cute.  SUPER.CUTE.  Dude couldn't get his butt up an inch?

And here is my reason.  Jon Snow.  I love him so.  That red chick though?  No.  That time she took off that necklace I was like...DAAAAAAYYYYYUUUUUMMMMM GINA...I need one of those!

Uh oh.  Gigs up!  Now they know she burned Princess Shireen at the stake.  Alive.  Davos is gonna kill her azz one day fo' sho' behind that.

I like Jon and Sansa together again but I don't forget how Sansa used to be when she was a girl in King's Landing.  She wasn't 'bout that family life and was steadily trying to come up and screwed her family big time.  That said...I don't trust her.  Wait until Arya shows up.  Arya will know her for true.

White raven.  Winter is here.

These Dorne women?  The Sand Snakes?  NO.JOKE.  Matter of fact...most of what I love about Game of Thrones is how the women are warriors too.  They don't play.  I like that.  But I also like Lady What's-Her-Face smacking them around with Elder talk too.  LOL!

Ooooh!  Hey Varys.  Gotta wonder what the what when he shows up.

HEY DANY!  HEY BOO!  Dany my blonde boo.  I can't believe she doesn't burn in the desert sun as pale as her skin is.  Now look...ya boy better listen and do as Dany says.  She doesn't answer to you boo!  You ain't going and that's final!

Awwwwwww...I love how Tyrion is so good for her and now?  He's the Hand of the Queen!!!!!!!!!!!

But is Tyrion about to cry though?  Yall know he's my favorite right?  RIGHT.  He brings me ALL.THE.JOY.ALL.THE.TIME.  In the books he is the most perfect of snarky smartazzes.  LOVE.HIM!

Frey is about to die.  Right?  What the hell???????? They fed him his sons in a pie?  ARYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  DAMN GINA!  ARYA FOR THE REVENGE WIN!!!!!  YOU KILLED MY BROTHER AND MY MOTHER AND I FED YOU YOUR SONS AND SLIT YOUR THROAT!!!!!!  YEAH BOY!  You killed her people after you gave them bread and salt and they thought they were protected guests and baaaaaby!  She baked a focaccia outta your sons!  DAMN GINA!  I will never be able to have focaccia again without thinking of Arya Stark! 

THE NORTH REMEMBERS!!!!!

Littlefinger BEEN wanting Sansa but how creepy is it that he was once in love with her mother?  I mean come on man...Sansa is about to come into her own WITHOUT.A.MAN who gave her to Ramsay.

Uncle Benjie...how you gonna leave Bran in the woods with just a young lady and a tree with blood eye slits?  

Jon is NOT Ned's bastard son.  He is Ned's nephew and wait...wait...HALF A TARGARYEN?????  SO...IS DANY HIS AUNT???????????????????????????  LAWD.TO.DAY!  WAIT!  LEMME CHECK THIS OUT FURTHER!  WHERE IS A FAMILY TREE?  THIS MEANS JON CAN TALK TO DRAGONS AND STUFF TOO HUH?????????  AND WAIT!  WAIT!  HE'S AN HEIR TO THE THRONE! DAMN GINA!

GASP.SWOON.FAINT.DAMN.GINA!!!!!!!!!

We finally have the proof of it all.  If only Katelyn had known that too. 

Sansa doesn't like this Jon being King of the North thing much.  Told ya.  She ain't 'bout that family life.  She wants to be the prize/leader/top dawg.  That lil girl...Lady Mormant?  She deserves the Iron Throne.  Tomorrow.  She too fierce for words.  LOL!  And she has a crush on Jon.  LOL!

Cersei is on the throne.  That's all she's ever wanted.  And she got it.  (Queue Hillary in a pants suit.)

I want a dragon.  Not three.  I don't want to be greedy.  Just one. Those ships and dragons look so menacing!  I guess they got over that whole crossing water horses can't drink thingy huh?

Wait...that's it?  No scary all-White people with zombies?  A tree didn't gobble up Bran?  Melisandre didn't burn down Westeros?  That's it?  No more until there is more?

Well shit.

Carry on.