"I fucked up cuz I'm fucked up..."

"Whatever.  I don't care."

"I don't believe you."

"I don't care what you believe.  I can't give you the power to hurt me again."

"I know.  And I'm so sorry.  I'm not proud of what I did but you have to understand, you told me you no longer loved me, no longer wanted to be with me and well...that fucked me up.  I was so hurt, so very, very hurt and the only thing I could think was that, you know what?  Other women want me.  So what that she doesn't.  And the only thing I was thinking when I was with her was that I should punish her for not being you and I fucked her.  Hard.  And I rolled away feeling emptier than I've ever felt in my life.  I felt lost.  Like...I'd never have the life I wanted.  I'd never have what my parents had because I was fucked up and have been since my father died and I lay there and thought of nothing but what I needed to do in order to get you back so I could FEEL again so when you walked in, and saw me at the lowest point of my life...truly...unbelievably...I wanted to die.  I know I fucked up.  I know I'm fucked up.  I know more than you think I know cuz I know that I've never been more alive than I was when I was with you.  I miss you so much.  I miss the possibilities.  I miss every.single.thing about you.  Please forgive me.  Or...at least try. Please."

He stood there begging, pleading with every fiber of his being and through her tears she watched him, chest heaving, mad as hell at the hurt he caused her.  The DEVASTATION she experienced finding him in bed with another woman only a day after they'd broken up. 

She closed her eyes.

Took a deep breath.

Open her mouth and said...

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