Beauty

Rantings of a Creole Princess: Wrapped Wrong

I wake in the mornings softly most days. Robby brings me my coffee and I drink it in bed and read and watch the news. I then get dressed for the Y and I unwrap my hair and pull it up and out of the way so I can lay on the floor without my ponytail position bothering me. I work out for an hour, drink water and get back in my truck.

AND THAT DAMN LINE FROM MY SLEEP HEADSCARF IS STILL ON MY FOREHEAD!

Seriously.

Just wrapped wrong.

This is getting old man. All the elasticity just sapped out of your once supple skin. I mean really. This ish is for the complete birds! I wanna fight folks! I can’t read anything I hold in my hand unless I put on my readers and I’m always looking for a pair when I have damn near twenty pair since my sister is having the same problem and when she buys cute ones for herself, she buys cute ones for me. And, of course, all the super cute ones are long gone but the regular cute and the okay ones hide under the sofa, under the bed, etc. There are probably 5 pair on my bathroom counter right now but the pair I currently have on are crooked.

I have never been able to touch my toes but I’m trying to work on being more flexible. Why? I don’t wanna break a hip one day because I can’t move right. Crazy that this is something I am for real, seriously worried about now. I walk around asking my husband how much fiber he’s had and if he has had any fruit that day. It’s like all of the things you know you’re supposed to do just now become so much more important. You start thinking of food as medicine and as body repairers in ways you’ve never done before. I try my best to eat a tomato every other day to get some good lycopene in my system to help with anti-aging and I have used vitamin E oil on my face forever but now I know I have to use some vitamin C too so I use this pricey serum with vitamin C in it in the morning so I have that extra stuff too and seriously…THERE IS JUST SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE that it gets sooooooooooooooooooooo overwhelming but hell…I’m vain. I’ve always been vain. I like to be cute so yeah…the kid is going to go down fighting. I mean, I’m not ever going to have plastic surgery done or anything but I’ll work hard at putting the right stuff inside my body and on my skin ya know?

IT IS OKAY TO BE VAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

20190612_120355.jpg

So I get me a dragon fruit ginger lemonade to help with inflammation because that’s another damn thing I have to think about now. Flipping inflammation. I have heredity bags under my eyes. Always have. Now? If I drink a lil glass of wine I wake up and the contents of the glass are in big azz bags under my eyes. If I need to be super fresh face somewhere I have to go a full three days without any wine and hell…I enjoy my glass of wine with my dinner. I know it is bad to say I need that glass but I do. It soothes my soul. LOL!

And water. I’ve always been really good about drinking water and believe that’s the main reason I haven’t spontaneously combusted yet but now it’s like medicine for me. Oh…and I have to drink it all before 7pm because if I don’t I’ll have to get up too many times during the night to use it. It’s too much man. I have to plan out my coffee and water intake before going anywhere because man…that tiny bladder is deep and real and yall remember I have issues that I’m not working on so I can’t just roll up on any bathroom ya know? So I’ve made friends with all of the clean bathroom owners on my routes. LOL! No lie yall. No lie. I will bring a dozen of donuts to you and your employees every once and a while to make sure I have access to your restroom when I’m out and about. LOL!

20190615_123836.jpg

Primitive Trunk

On 28” pin legs!

I did have some fun with some furniture last week so that was cool. I turned this primitive trunk into something pretty awesome to store throw pillows in and I LOVE it!

I even sang a song about it. Wanna hear it? Hear it go!

I turned this old cedar wardrobe into something functional for a guest bedroom as a guest closet. I know the closet in my guest room houses my coats. Something like this would be perfect for a guest to use as a closet. It would house their towels and all the guest toiletries in case they need something you know? I think I’ve decided to put glass knobs on it. Nice, right?

And I’m turning this sweet dresser and matching nightstand into nursery furniture. The furniture was the baby’s mommy’s furniture growing up.

20190614_085200.jpg

My favorite part of my week outside of my home is early Friday morning. I’ve given up control over my hair to my hairstylist. I don’t want to do a darn thing to it ever again myself. She got me back on the right track with a good cut and I’m hoping with her care it will grow back to a decent ponytail by the end of the year. I have to be at my store by 10am so I get to her at 8am and she has me out of there no later than 9:15. And I’m cute for the weekend of personal activities with my family! See how that works out? GO ME! I’ll probably still get braids when I have a lot of new growth since I hope to get no more than 4 relaxers per year.

So I’m trying to eat well and drink more water than wine. Speaking of wine, my new favorite drink is 1 to 2 ratio of Tito’s vodka to Limoncello with a splash of tonic water and a lemon twist. It is so decadent and perfectly perfect for the summer! Just a crisp and cool drink! You should try it!

Okay…how old are you and what aging challenges are you dealing with right now? Have you figured some things out the rest of us need to know about? Yall got some hot flash secrets? Are you working out? Eating whole foods? Do you come home and immediately put on soft pants too? LOL!

WHATCHALL BEEN DOING? ANY NEW BABIES? HOW THE BABIES I “KNOW” DOING? HOLLA ATCHA GIRL!

From Gray to Dark Brown Again!

Remember this?  Going, Going, Gone Gray 

20171012_174200.jpg

I am happy to say that I handled that gray hair situation like a champ.  And by handle it I mean I went to a lovely, talented stylist and she put this lovely rinse on it.  I didn't tell her that I fully expected to break out from the rinse since that is what happened the last time I tried a rinse because I'm already her problem patient and I didn't want to add to her side eyes in my direction.  LOL!

She used the Wella brand hair rinse in a dark brown and put me under the dryer of death with a conditioning cap.  I loved the results when I left but I was wary for a day or two waiting on a bad skin reaction.

NONE!

*INSERT.CABBAGE.PATCH.HERE*

Now I look normal again!  GO ME!  She says it is mild enough that I could get it every two weeks if it washes out quickly.

I'm braiding it up again tomorrow for two weeks so after another wash, I'm sure the gray will be on and popping again but I will just trot my happy azz right on back over to Ms. Julia to get it re-done with the swiftness.  I am SO.HAPPY with the color it is ridiculous.  She refuses to do anything other than a rinse on my hair and hey...I can't blame her.  I know me and I know I'm special.  See...ya gotta own ya coo-coo.  LOL!

It even looks good when I'm pissed!  LOL!  Or pretty damn pleased with myself!  

Okay...I'm just being silly now.  Sowwy...

Do you do anything with your gray?  How often do you get a rinse if you do?

Black Knees and Elbows...NO!

Screen Shot 2017-10-04 at 11.43.51 AM.png

When I'm refinishing furniture, I kneel and lean a lot.  You have to get in there deep if you're as thorough as I am since I refinish inside and outside for a completely clean slate.

I rounded the corner and saw my knees in a mirror and was like...um...that's not cute and was mad.about.it!

And yall know I have knee pads, right?  Right.

So I went old school on them and started using the loofahs I use on my face on my knees and elbows whenever I shaved my legs and armpits.  

Face Loofahs

I just gently rubbed them and probably within a month...I was back to normal.  There is no reason for your knees and elbows to be black as this is something so easy to fix.  And don't go crazy either or you're going to scratch yourself up and cause even more of a mess.  Just rub gently and it will work.  If you have a really bad problem, use lemons too.  That's what an Elder told me and well...she's normally right and has perfect skin.

I love those face loofahs for weekly exfoliating my face too.  Just put your face wash on and GENTLY rub your face with a wet one.  Make sure you rinse the disc well and let it dry all the way so it doesn't start growing fungus.

Going, Going, Gone...Gray

joanijohnson.jpg

I have been going gray for a minute now and I stomped all up and down declaring that I was just going to let it go until it is all the way gray and be a gray head rockstar looking all super sleek and whatnot.

I saw myself looking like this:

Just all one-dimensional amazing with some banging natural silvery highlights.

All regal and what not ya know?  QUEENLY!  I planned on wearing a lot of purple. Rich silks with like...some braiding on it or something.  I'm talking straight up Egyptian royalty in the house!  (Great...now I can't get "Egyptian Lover out my head...UGH!"

Yall...I was ready to wake up already LIT!  

20170927_151114.jpg

The reality of it, however?  It's gon' take a minute and I am struggling so much so that I think I'm going to have to do some temporary stuff in the middle of it all so I don't walk around here looking like someone without mirrors in her home.

This is my hair air dried and without heat or moisturizer on it to give it some semblance of a cohesive color and tame it.  This is my natural hair color and I am convinced God doesn't want me to live like this anymore.  Whenever He looks my way He probably shakes his head and says..."Oh no, baby...what is you doing?  I have given chemists the ability to create hair color so that you can handle that situation!  WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY???????"

I've tried everything to keep it contained.  I even had box braids for three weeks (I couldn't get used to all that hair and I promise my neck was tired holding up that hair.) and after seeing my little cousin with Dutch Goddess braids, I even did a version of it on my own using braid hair and French braids (cuz I can't do them dang opposite braids to save my life) and they were okay but only last a good week for me because my exposed hair starts looking too fuzzy.  

And it totally doesn't help that this guy I'm married to looks all distinguished gentleman and whatnot rocking his gray.  (So unfair and honestly...just rude...)

I'd like to find something between the two different braid styles using braid hair to keep it under wraps until more of the gray transition has happened.  Something that covers more of my hair but doesn't have to use so much braid hair.  I'm serious...I had for real, serious neck pain with all that hair and I got sick of wiping oatmeal off strands every.single.morning.  That's just gross.  I wish I could have kept them in longer though.

20170812_200301.jpg

So I'm back to considering color but don't know where to start.  My funky red/brown/gray color is just odd as heck to me.  My hair is low-porosity so by the very definition it's more difficult to color and it's as healthy as relaxed hair can be and I don't want to sustain any damage with keeping color on longer during the coloring process.  Oh...and those temporary colors just slide off onto my pillowcase anyway so...

*sigh*

If anyone has any tips...holla atcha girl.  I'm desperate.