Craigslist Ad for Live-in Girlfriend or Wife Wanted

[WHAT I WANT]: I’m seeking a non-smoking female, size 14 or smaller [aka “under” size 16 unless you are tall and carry it well] “probably” under age 58, no taller than 5’10 [because I’m 5’10], who is drug, disease and drama free [Like I am], to share my nice 1967 brick ranch home with as my live-in girlfriend/lover and possibly be my wife later in 2016 if you want [not required]. To be clear, I am NOT looking for “just” a roommate. I’m looking for a Girlfriend/Lover/Wife/Life companion to do the following with: cuddle while watching movies, shop for groceries, cook, eat, trade massages/kisses, etc. You must NOT be an alcoholic, must NOT have unresolved felonies and NOT have a warrant out for your arrest. Other than that we can talk about your past issues BUT, you must be honest from day one! I’m a former Private Investigator so I “will” check you out. “Females” of any race will be considered but you must speak decent-to-good English. If your English is bad, we won’t work out. I’m NOT concerned about what kind of job you have [if any] at the time we meet [retired, self-employed, Sonic, T.J Maxx, unemployed, Walmart, or whatever]. You may even be on SSD or waiting on a Social Security Disability claim because of Anxiety, Depression, Fibromyalgia, OCD or whatever. I’m sorry but we all know what we want and I’m just stating my wants up front. Many guys have just as many preferences as me but they usually do not put them all in their ad.

[MAJOR BONUSES]: You’ll have the whole front bathroom to yourself. I’ll be in charge of all the laundry plus I will cook and/or prepare our food sometimes, or all the time if you can’t or don’t want to! You will not have to pay for rent, power, cable TV [I have all 8 HBO channels], WIFI internet, natural gas, garbage service or water. I have a Sam’s Club Membership too. If you do not have a car, we can get you one as I have 2 friends that own used car lots and a few others that work for new dealers that get trade-ins. If your credit is bad I can teach you how to rebuild it. If you have no credit score [aka thin credit] I can probably get you on the board in only two months with a 665+ score, which is “FAIR”. “GOOD” starts at 720 by the way.

[ABOUT ME]: I’m a 52 year old East Marietta, GA [Cobb County] homeowner. I listed myself as age 49 to get views from ladies that type in 49 or 50 as their max, because I look younger than my age plus more views increases my chances. I’m a straight Single White Male, 5’10” tall, with no kids or pets. I have no tattoos or piercings but if you do that is fine. Mom died a few years ago and I’m now back in the house I grew up in. Considering that AND the facts that I’ve lived in Marietta all of my life, known and trust the neighbors for over 20+ years AND it is paid for, I never plan to move from my current home. So if you “never” plan to move from your place, even if we fall in love, we are not a match unfortunately. I own the house free and clear, in my name only, so I have no rent or mortgage payment. It’s a 3 bedroom with 2 full baths, full basement, double carport, central AC/heat and 2 driveways. It’s in a safe neighborhood 11 miles outside of the 285 perimeter at exit 267A [Canton Rd]. My house is fully furnished with 2 couches, 3 beds, washer & dryer and everything you need. I have a 42” Vizio TV hung on the wall in the living room but I plan to upgrade this year to 65” with 4K UHD, then the other will go in the bedroom. I have 2 microwaves in a nice white remodeled kitchen with a large fridge/freezer, TV, glass top stove and oven. You can have your own drawer and/or section of the fridge if you want. The back porch with a cement floor has been fully enclosed with carpet, paneling, a triple window, lights and a HVAC vent. It’s a nice room for a pool table, workout equipment, photography studio, massage tables, a large hot tub/jacuzzi or an office depending on what business you are in [if any] or what type of business you might want to start with me [if any]. Join me and let’s decide! I have no bed bugs, rodents, fleas or roaches by the way! The house is sealed up pretty tight and I spray around the outside once, sometimes twice a year. Even though I’m retired and do not work, I do have a stable income that I get by on since I only have 7 bills a month and I owe no money to any person, company or bank. I’m a blue jeans a sneakers kind of guy and NOT a slacks, coat and tie guy. I have no pets or kids, but I absolutely will “consider” women that have only 1 kid [no infants or toddlers] or 1 dog/cat that has to come with them. My backyard is fenced in. However, women without kids/pets go to the front of the line. I basically do not drink alcohol [2 drinks in 2015] but if you do that is ok, as long as you are not an alcoholic.

I’m caring, communicative, compassionate, considerate, dependable [but often late leaving the house a few minutes], detailed [in case you can not tell yet!], faithful, gentle, intelligent, kind, loyal, outspoken, reasonable, respectful, supportive, touchy-feely, trustworthy, understanding and witty. I know that trust AND proper communication are 2 of the biggest keys to any type of relationship so you won’t have to guess with me. I think 2 adults should talk things out sensibly when an issue comes up and never hang up the phone mad or go to bed angry. I go with a very low haircut [#1 guard/basically bald]. I’m not handsome but I’m not expecting gorgeous either so please do not be shy or timid. I like to buy my lady flowers, cards and gifts for no reason at all plus I never forget birthdays, Anniversaries or Valentine’s Day!

[SEX]: I’m NOT into cyber sex, phone sex or sexting to name just a few. I’m straight, not bisexual. I like cuddling, kissing and massages as foreplay. If you’re celibate then we are not a match. Ask me anything else you want to know and feel free to tell me your likes and dislikes. I use condoms even for oral, to avoid STDs. When I trust you and we decide to date exclusively I expect you to go get tested with me at my expense.

[RELIGION]: I’m a Christian, attended services regularly thru about age 18 and was baptized in May of 1974 [age 11]. I do pray every so often but do NOT know the Bible well and have NOT attended any services in several years. I believe in the 10 Commandments and doing the right thing. Many hypocrites are in the pews every Sunday and a person does not have to attend services to get to Heaven in my opinion. So, if you are very religious then we “might” not be a match.

[POLITICS]: I do not want to be considered Democrat or Republican. I consider myself an Independent that is Pro-Life and Pro-Gun [I’ve had a carry permit for 23+ years]. You can not get a carry permit if you are crazy, have a drug conviction, a felony or even a violent misdemeanor so that right there let’s you know I’m safe and sane. I’m not a member of the NRA and I do not hunt by the way. If you are pro-choice you are not ruled out. I “do” think abortion should be legal in cases of rape, incest and the mother’s health issues. I’m mostly conservative and lean mostly to the right but I do have “some” liberal viewpoints such as “rights for gays”. If you’re an Independent that leans to the left then that’s ok. If you’re a vocal liberal then we are “probably” not a match but we can be friends. My best male friend is a big Democrat by the way.

[ACTIVITIES]: FaceBook, YouTube, Music CDs, 70’s/80’s/90’s music & trivia, Google, 60’s & 70’s cars, billiards/pool, collecting trading cards, collecting car magazines, garage sales, walking, buying AND selling on ebay, FB or CL, cooking and home improvements.

[FAV MLB TEAMS] #1=Braves. #2=Pirates.
[FAV MUSIC] B-52’s / Cars / Def Lep / Dread Zeppelin / Frankie Valli / Gap Band / Joan Jett / Led Zeppelin / Lez Zeppelin / Lynyrd Skynyrd / Metal Elvis / No Doubt / RUN-D.M.C. / Van Halen
[FAV NASCAR DRIVERS] Ford people! I’m not into it that much really but I could be if you are.
[FAV NBA TEAMS] #1=Hawks. #2=Spurs.
[FAV NCAA TEAMS] #1=GA Bulldogs. #2=Oklahoma Sooners. #3=Duke. #4=Kennesaw St. Owls
[FAV NFL TEAMS] #1=Falcons. #2=Raiders. #3=Cowboys. #4=Steelers.

Dr. Phil says “Every relationship is a negotiation” and “Basically everything is negotiable”.
So, let’s negotiate! Email me now :-)

This ad is updated regularly with new info and/or pictures.
Last updated: Tuesday 01-12-15.
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— http://atlanta.craigslist.org/nat/roo/5389885471.html