Empire Recap Episode 6: Cookie and Coffee!

HEY COOKIE!  Clearly I don't have enough leopard print in my life.  She's been in jail for 17 years but she know 'bout red bottoms.  LOL!  Get it Cookie!  Now, what did she pick to wear?  Look at that sheared mink!  GET IT!

AW LAWD...Lucious playing with Cookie's emotions?  They both killers.  Who would kill whom first?  Can yall imagine Cookie putting a hit out on Lucious?  Why Cookie still have her coat on?  She 'bout to pop off tossing rose petals.  TELL IT COOKIE TELL IT!  

UH...OH!

That's that Queen Latifah set-if-off look right there.

YEEEEEEEEEEEES!  TELL IT COOKIE!  SHE THREW THE ROSE!  HOLY SHIT!  COOKIE GOT BODY!  

THIS IS.AN.AZZ!  

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I.

MONICA.

MINGO.

LOVES.

ME.

SOME.

COOKIE!

I am clearly not doing life right!  LOL!

I'm buying animal prints all next week!  

I love Jamal!

See...I'm not about that life...that was sable.  Not sheered mink.

Fame changes people.  Cookie is good people.  Seriously.  She is always honest no matter who she's talking to.  

Lucious is doing worse than we thought huh?  Um...Lucious...you don't tell people you killed somebody.  If yall kill somebody don't tell me about it mmmkay?  Cuz I'm telling.  You might decide you gotta kill me next cuz in a moment of weakness you told me.  

"Look I'm 'bout to kill Bunkie."    

"How the hell we gon' fix this?"  Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit...Idda been like...who is we?  LOL!  Or more like...Lemme think...I;ll call you later on with a plan and drive SKRAIT to the po-po on two wheels squealing.  HE'S A KILLA!  YOU CAN'T TRUST HIM!  HE'S A KILLA!

COMMERCIAL BREAK / COFFEE REFILL

Okay...what have we learned so far boys and girls?

1.  Monnie doesn't know fur.

2.  Monnie does not have enough animal print in her life.

3.  If you kill somebody...don't tell Monnie.

Aw lawd...he getting choked out at work?  Oh hell no!  Da hell going on with the two of them?  

HIs wife is the debil.  She even look like any minute she'll be on "American Horror Story."

Jamal's boo thang is cute.  Great skin.  

Boy yall can't afford the Berkshires right now.  (Is Jamal gay in real life or is he that great of an actor?  I need to know.)

Why do they even put Anika and Cookie in the same meetings?  Cookie and that Chanel necklace though?  YES!  If anybody sees a knockoff at the swap meet...holla atcha girl cuz I'm rocking leopard, big rope necklaces and initial earrings next week.  Watch.

COURTNEY LOVE!!!!!!!!  OH YES!  THIS 'BOUT TO GET GOOD!

Wait...did old girl just insult Cookie?  

Cookie is listening but watch she shut her down right quick.  

Oops...Cookie let her get away without a lashing?  

Not quite Cookie-ish.  She plotting though...looka them flawless brows.  She plotting.

I love the pace of this show.  They don't let ish drag out and keep you wondering.

Told y'all Cookie was plotting.  She showing up putting folks out, snatching up drugs looking fierce as hell being lit to PERFECTION!  If your lighting is right...that means your crew loves them some you!  And that coat?  Lawd...yall know I have a coat problem.

I would not call Cookie a B.  No way neva...$5k and she can get rid of you.  *POOF*

Prince of Zamunda is hurt behind Tiana but he doing so much wrong.  How do guys fix their face to try and be hurt knowing they doing dead.damn wrong?  I mean really.  Do right for once hell.

Lemme tell yall how much I love Porsha.  I love her.  She is exactly the kind of assistant Cookie would have.  I want one of everything Cookie wears.  'Cept the leopard stuff.  I know what I said earlier but yeah...no.  Too much.

Five million Twitter followers.

I need a hat like Jamal's.  

GO JAMAL!  GO COOKIE!  WORK THAT MAGIC!  I'M BOUT TO DOWNLOAD THAT SONG!

Aw lawd!  PORSHA!  YES!  I love Porsha!  "What?  Touching on each other?  That's nasty!"  YES!

Tweet it boo!  Tweet that ish!

AWWWWWWW!  MY SWEET FACE DUDE DO MILITARY SECURITY!  I love him! But what's going on with his head though?  Who he pissed off in hair and makeup?

Jamal...please don't get beat down in the club.  You know Cookie do mama-ing old school style.  None of that time out...no learn from your actions...IMMA BEAT IT OUTCHA IF NEED BE!

So people take falls and ish for money and go to jail?  That's cool?  I mean...what exactly does that do for your family?  Goodness!  I don't know 'bout all that!  Are they giving up life changing millions?  All Bunky asked for was three and he got kill't.  How much you get for copping to a murder?

I love this ratchet azz fiction!  LOLOLOLOLOL!  

Hakeem hurt.  And mad.  And hurt.  And young.  And silly. Ugh.

Oooh...that music is hot but Elle's voice?  No.

Oops...Porsha and Boo Boo in the same elevator.  Boo Boo messy.   Doesn't she know folks come up missing 'round Empire?  No...she doesn't huh?

Lucious in Russia?  No.  I don't mess with Russians.  And Lucious mess around and get hooked up with some of them oligarch people and lawd...can you say international incident?????  And he knows the President is no longer taking his calls after Hakeem's lil stunt.

Whew!

Poor Courtney.  

EVERYBODY OUT!  Yup...it's 'bout to go DOWN-T!

Girl...take it off before she snatches it off!

Cookie's weave?  YES!

WAIT...Is Elle snatching off the extensions?  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  I like that top.

She bringing it like Ike Turner staring at her azz with some cake.

Jamal so cute.  I love his style.  Simple...wait...did yall see that cape/blazer Cookie has on?  SLAYING!  This was the Cookie episode cuz we didn't see much of Lucious 'nem.  Cookie was errywhere though!  I.LOVE.ME.SOME.COOKIE!

Can I be her?  Tomorrow?

Hey Sway!  Jamal's boo is gonna feel some kinda way.  You know he's waiting to hear him say something about him.  Awwww...cute boo feeling some kinda way.  Bless him.

That bedroom is luxurious.  Too much stuff up in there to keep dusted for me though.  I don't have in-house help  I almost threw out a glass lamp a few weeks ago cuz I got sick of Windex'ing it.  UGH! 

Oh...they were trying to make Malcolm looking older.  He might be Cookie's new boo.  LOL!  GETCHO FLIRT ON COOKIE!

Vernon 'nem gonna kiss huh?

LOL!

I don't know where that came from.  I'm throwed the hell off.

I want Cookie to beat the brakes off Hakeem.

RAVEN SYMONE!  AND HER NAME IS OLIVIA!  BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

That lil girl is too cute though.  Wait...what?  WHODADADDY???????????