Funny the things you'll think but never say out loud. Like cuss words. I'd never cuss out loud, but in my mind every other word seems to be a cuss word. I never have an opportunity to say it not with the kids and my mother-in-law always around. I have cussed around Fred, but so infrequently that he's shocked when he hears it.

Right now I'm thinking, fu**, sh-**and gotda**--. It's pouring raining and I'm stuck in traffic with three stops to make before I get home and my cell phone is ringing.

Again.

"Home." *sigh* "Home" is ALWAYS calling me. I already told "Home" that it's pouring raining and I can't drive and talk. "Home" is going to make me yell. But I can't yell at "Home" cuz home is where the heart is right. Yeah...right.

I think I've moved three inches in fifteen minutes. And I have to go to Whole Foods and get some veggies and some snacks for the kids. Last night Gracie told me me she's too old to eat the honey graham sticks that the boys eat. At age 7...she's too old for a lot she thinks. And at age 40...I'm too old to argue with her anymore. I know she's taking over and I'm too tired to fight it out of her. I talked big game before she came...but now..hell...I don't have the energy to be on every little thing she does.

Buzzzzzzzz...buzzzzzzzzz..."Home" again. I just can't deal with home right now. It will be something stoopit. Marcus put a tootsie pop in Gracie's hair. Johnathon can't find his purple martian. No...mommy...not the one with the silver suit...the one holding the xyloray.

This fucking traffic is killing me today.

I have to pick up some flowers too. I ordered them a week ago so I have to get them otherwise I would say forget it. My brother and his fiance are coming tomorrow and I wanted an arrangement that coordinated with their room. I had to do a major overhaul tot he room to transform it into a guest bedroom since Fred's mother moved in. Poor thing. She was so alone. I just couldn't let her stay there by herself so when I went after she fell...I couldn't do anything but bring her back with me. Fred was surprised I know...but I always knew she'd be with us evenually.

My brother's fiance is annoying. Pretty...but annoying. Always trying to help but ends up getting in the way. GO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE HELL! I'm always screaming at people in my head. Good thing they can't read minds huh?

I'm gonna get soaked. My damn umbrella is in the back. What kind of sense does it make to put an umbrella in the back of an SUV? Not too bright chica. Now ya gotta get out and get it and this rain is POURING.

I've been thinking about going back to school. I just need something new. Tired of being wife, mommy and daughter-in-law.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..Bzzzzzzzzzzzz..."Home."

Yes I did just cut that guy off. He shouldn't have been going all slow trying to keep up with the conversation on his phone. I DO NOT HAVE TIME IDIOT!

I whip into the parking lot. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz...Bzzzzzzzzzzzz..."Home."

I grab the phone..."YES!"

"Mommy..."

"Gracie...what is it that makes you call me 6 times in a row when I have told you it's raining and mommy can't drive and talk on the phone in the rain? And it better not be about a fight with the boys. You are too old to fight with 4 year olds Gracie. You have to be the big girl."

"Mommy...Grandmother fell down and isn't moving.I called the police and the boys started crying when they heard the sirens. Mommy...we're scared. Grandma just fell."

Shit.

______________________________________________________________

Questions for YOU.

What do you think she looks like?

Do you think she's happy?

How would you describe her if you had to?

How would YOU feel if this had happened to you?

- See more at: http://creoleindc.typepad.com/rantings_of_a_creole_prin/author_monica_mingo/page/2/#sthash.1NtxonDa.dpuf