From My Inbox: Screw Them Voices, Yo!

I received this message on Facebook the other day:

Hi Monica! We have never met but I’ve followed your blog for a few years now. I use to live for your blogs/videos about natural beauty/hair care, cooking, housekeeping, fitness and confidence. I know there are a lot of similar blogs out there but yours really connected to me in so many ways. You are awesomely fabulous!

I sometimes wish I can ask you how you do it all. I’m turning 40 this week and although I’m so grateful and happy for so much in my life there are few things I really need to conquer. I feel my biggest set back is the noise in my head, the mental clutter, the self dialogue. Can you please preach to me about how you overcome that to be more productive and active in your daily life? What kind of affirmation motivate and keep you on track?

I completely understand if this is too personal to answer.

Best Regards,


So I tipped over to D's page and clicked around a bit before responding...

Why in the world would it be too personal to answer???????????
Imma fight you.
First things first...gimme them babies.
You will always have the power to be your own worst enemy so it’s something you need to seriously work on if that voice inside your head is negative.
And...why should it ever be negative?
You’re smart, beautiful, fun and funny.
Looks like you have a lovely family.
Focus on all the good things, all the time.
I was abused as a child. Big time.
I heard some really ugly things.
As a child.
I look at who I am despite all of that and I know deep down in my heart that I’m a good person in all the areas where it counts.
And THAT is what I use to silence the negative shit that can rattle around in my head sometimes.
I get up sometimes and I think some ugly shit.
And then I shoot that shit down.
I am a good person. I live my life to be of service when I can. I do no harm. I take no shit. Why? BECAUSE I AM A SURVIVOR. I AM THE SHIT.
If you want to compare yourself to crazy stuff think of all the people stuck in their negative circumstances and that’s not you.

The conversation went back and forth for a bit with my reminding her to not be a martyr and how martyrs have wrinkles and shit and she's too cute for all that and telling her that she should hire a housekeeper if she can afford it because nobody with kids should have to clean their own home if they can afford to outsource that job.

See...I struggle with why people talk so much crazy shit to themselves.  You'd never say the stuff you say to yourself to someone else so why, knowing the power of loving yourself...would  you ever say it to you?  If someone walked up on you and said some of that ugly ish to your face that you have rattling around in your head, I have no doubt you'd launch at them trying to take them out so turn that same energy into beating that negative voice out, back and down.  You don't have to deal with that shit.  Nobody has to.

You need to be who you need.  It's always been YOU.